


Beauty Behind The Madness.

by ZiamsLarry



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction, Ziam Mayne - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Bottom Louis, Drama, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Give it a read, Heart Break, Jealousy, Kid Fic, M/M, Miscommunication, Punk Harry, Smut, This fic has finally been edited with 7k+ more words added into it, Top Harry, but it's worth it in the end I hope, father harry, heart ache as well, i hope you all like it, so much of it, this has a lot of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-05-14 18:47:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 59,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5754274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZiamsLarry/pseuds/ZiamsLarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry doesn't meet the worlds perspective of looks, causing him to be judged every time he leaves his house. He never lets it get to him, because he knows that when he gets home at the end of the day he has the most beautiful little girl waiting for him. </p><p>So with just her and the lovely old lady down the hall who babysits her, Harry thinks his life is good enough for him. </p><p>Of course it all changes when the appartment across from him gets new attendants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One.

**Author's Note:**

> So I've gone through this whole fanfiction for the past week, and I've finally edited and fixed this whole thing up. Some chapters will be the same which means I didn't need to edit it, while others will have more put it in this story. I tried to edit it the best I could too make it flow more easier than how it used too be like.
> 
> There probably still will be a minor spell error here and there because my computer doesn't have spell check, so I had too do it all online. I apologise for that!
> 
> So I really hope after all the editing I've done, more people will enjoy this fanfiction.
> 
> Happy reading my lovies
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr; Larrydomain@tumblr.com  
> Twitter: @PAYNENTOMMO

It's dark and cold as Harry walks home.

He watches a the strangers stare him down as he walks down the pathway. He watches as mothers will put a protective arm around their kids and scurry off in the opposite direction of him. He watches as fathers and teenagers give him glares, and the young girls give him a scrunch of their nose.

He watches as every single one of them stare him down, _judging him._

Harry ducks his head down, shoving his hands into his hoodie pocket as he picks up his speed a bit, walking faster down the pathway. He dodges past people, apologizing to those he accidentally bumps into. They only sneer at him in return. He tries his best to ignore the cruel stares and word that the people are doing and saying, as he hurries along.

He doesn't understand why people are so quick to judge someone with out even knowing who they are. He doesn't get why, that due of the way he looks, he is deemed different. The piercings in his face, he is assumed to be scary, because of the colour of his hair, it's not natural at all. Or the tattoos inked on his body, make him look horrible. He doesn't understand why they judge him for that.

Harry keeps his head down, even when he reaches the set of apartments where he lives. He walks through the doors, heading over to the elevator, before pressing the arrow pointing towards the roof. He waits for the ding, the metal doors pulling open and he quickly steps inside. Clicking number 13, and stepping back to lean on the wall as the elevator begins to move up.

He watches as each number lights up as he goes past a floor, then he pushes himself off the wall when his floor number lights up. Dinging, before the doors open again.

Harry walks down the hallway, digging his keys out of his hoodie pockets as he reaches his room. He jabs the key in the lock, twisting it, before he hears the unlock click and he grabs the nob, twisting and pushing it open.

His room smells like lavender, a small smile twitches at his lips at the smell. He kicks his shoes off, pushing them against the wall next to the door. Before he's throwing his keys onto the small kitchen table, grabbing the hem of his jumper, and tugging it off throwing it onto one of the kitchen chairs.

He's left in his tight black singlet and jeans, with white socks cladding his feet. Harry stretches his arms above his head, glad to be home and away from all the strangers on the street. He drops his hands with a satisfied sigh as he walks into his kitchen, fiddling with his lip ring between his teeth as he puts his wallet on the bench. Making sure to grab a twenty dollar bill out before he's heading back to the front door.

He doesn't bother putting his shoes back on since he's just heading down to the end of the hall. He opens his door again, walking out and shutting it behind himself. He walks down to the last room, marked 28 and he knocks on it gently.

It's only a minute later when the door is opened, and Margret is standing in front of Harry with a small wrinkly smile. Harry grins back at her as he hands her his twenty, she accepts it with another smile before she turns around.

"Come on, come in. She missed you a lot today." Margret says, with a small croak in her voice.

Harry hums at it as he walks into the small apartment, following behind the old lady.

"Missed her too. I had a big day today." Harry says with a small shrug, as he heads into the living room.

That's where she is, sitting in the middle of the carpet. A bottle hanging in her mouth, a red car in one hand, and a block in the other one. Her wavy curls are pushed behind a tiny head band, and her flower dress is ruffled up a bit from either crawling or shuffling around.

She's still the most beautiful girl Harry has ever seen.

He walks over to her slowly, smiling down at her, watches as she looks up at him, a grin crossing her face when she takes in who it is. She ends up dropping the items in her hands, along with spitting the bottle out as she moves to stand up. She walks over to Harry in an easy six steps, before her arms wrap around Harry's leg, and she buries her face in his knee, with a small smile.

"Daddy." She says looking up at Harry, with wide bluish grey eyes.

Harry smiles back at her, before he bends down to pick her up. Plopping her on his waist, as she clings to his shirt her face buried in Harry's neck. Harry can't wipe the grin off his face, as he holds onto her tightly moving over to Margret.

"Hey baby." He whispers, pecking her head as he runs his fingers through her hair. He turns to face Margret, still smiling wide.

"Thank you for looking after her, it means a lot." Harry says with a tiny nod.

Margret just shrugs giving him a smile in return.

"It's alright love. She's great to have around, not a hassle at all." She says as they walk back to the front door. "She is getting a bit tired as you can see." She says pointing to the little girl, as she curls up more into Harry's embrace.

Harry looks down at her with another fond smile, before looking back up at Margret. "Well. I'll take her back home so she can have a nap. I'll see you soon, I don't have work tomorrow. So you're free of her tomorrow." Harry says with a small laugh. "But yeah I'll let you know when I need you to look after her again." Harry says with a nod.

Margret just nods in agreement, bidding Harry goodbye as she closes the door as he walks off.

When they're back in Harry's apartment, he cradles her head in one of his hands as she lets small yawns out. He has a small smile on his face, as he makes his way into the kitchen. He moves the hand on her head down to the fridge, pulling it open and grabbing out her bottle. He hips the fridge door shut behind him, then he heads into his bedroom with her. He makes sure not to trip over any of her wild toys, before he places her down on the king sized bed.

Harry removes his socks, jeans and shirt, before heading over to his dresser. Pulling out a pair of pyjama pants, slipping them on before he flicks his light off. He watches as the room light up with the small love heart night light, a small smile on his face before he moves over to the bed. He gets in underneath the covers, wrapping a protective arm around hias daughter. He waits for her to snuggle into his chest, with the cold bottle pressed against his bare chest. He lets a small hum out, lulling her into sleep. When he hears the small snores coming from her, Harry gently moves a hand inbetween them to grab the bottle from her. Stretching his arm behind himself to place it on the night stand, before he snuggles back into her, drifting off to sleep as well.

-

_Harry had been seventeen when he had Staysha Styles._

He was dating Healy Chers at the time, they had been together for about two years. Harry had loved her dearly, convinced that she had loved him back as well. They weren't the typical high school power couple, or anything along those line. They were just the average school couple, who weren't fairly popular or anything.

It had been their two year anniversary, when Harry had decided not to wear a condom. He didn't see the point in it, since he loved Healy dearly, they had been dating for awhile and that she had also consented to it. Harry was convinced at the time that she was on the pill, since that's what she told him, and that everything would be fine.

He didn't even know how far away from the truth he was.

Three months after they had unprotected sex, Healy came to Harry's house on a Tuesday night with a pregnancy test. She told Harry there and then, that there had been two options he had to choose from;

One, was that she was going to get an abortion because she was too young for this and didn't want to be a mother.

Or;

Two, Harry could keep the kid, but that meant that she would break up with him, because she had wanted nothing to do with the kid.

Harry had gone with the second option of course, he couldn't bare the thought of ending an innocent life. It was hard for him, watching his then ex-girlfriend carry his baby, knowing that when she gave brith, he'll most likely never see her again.

When the day had come for her to give birth, Harry was there by her side watching everything she was going through. By the end of it, Healy had held the baby girl for a total of three seconds before handing her to Harry and demanding that she never ever wanted to see the baby or Harry again.

When Harry had made it home and was left alone with Staysha, he broke down crying. He was only young himself, he had no idea on how to raise a kid or what to exactly do. He had also lost his lover in the making of it.

When Harry had Staysha, his life began to twist itself up and plumbet completely down south to everything Harry had planned for his future. Although it didn't mean that he didn't loved his daughter anymore less, he just now had to find a new way to support him and now her.

It took three long years for Harry to be able to finacially support both him and Staysha. Three years to find a good paying job, and a small apartment that they could live in. It took three years, but Harry had loved those three years, even though he was on his own to look after Staysha, he never really cared.

Staysha is the only one, besides Margret now, in Harry's life who wasn't scared of him. She's too young to understand what his tattoos and piercings mean, she doesn't even know how to speak properly, let alone be able to judge someone. Harry's thankful for her, she became his everything now. Everything that Harry could ever ask for and more. Even if he is destined to be alone for the rest of his life, well atleast he has a beautiful daughter with him all the way.

-/

Harry wakes up to Staysha ontop of his chest, pinching at his skin.

Harry makes a small whine of discomfort as he brings a hand up to wipe his eyes, ridding the eye dust that's there as he looks down at Staysha with a lazy smile. She's got her tiny hands on Harry's chest tattoos, her fingers trying to grab the skin that's there and he lets a tiny yelp out when she pinches him a tiny bit harder.

"Ow baby. What are you doing?" Harry says with a tiny laugh as he brings his hands up to wrap around the three year old, burring her more into his chest. She lets out a tiny squeal, giggling against Harry's chest as she looks up at him. Her eyes shining with confusion.

"Why won't these come off?" She says pointing at Harry's sparrow tattoos, her hands rubbing over the pictures. Harry raises an eyebrow at her, as he lets a smile cross his face at that.

"Because they're painted into daddy's skin baby. They will be there forever." Harry says tickling her sides.

Staysha squirms against Harry's chest, giggling loudly as she tries to get away from him. Harry watches the way her face scrunches up as she laughs, how they crinkle at the side of her eyes. She reminds Harry so much of Healy, looks so much like her, besides Harry's curls and his lip shape, but the rest is all to Healy.

Sometimes Harry will have these days, just wre he can't stand to look at Staysha because of how much he is reminded of Healy. On those low to the slump days, Harry usually palms Staysha off to Margret. Then he will find himself at the bar drinking all his sorrows away. He never, ever picks Staysha up when he's drunk, he will simpl tell Margret before hand that he'll be having a real late night and that he'll get her in the morning.

It used to be worse when Harry had first started out being a father, where he was still madly in love with Healy. He used to give Staysha to his own mum so he could go out and drink, it used to happen at least four times a week. It had gotten to the point were his mum had to sit him down, telling him that he needed to get his life together, because he was a father now.

She did help him out a bit, showing him the begginer ropes on parenthood, she helped him find his apartment, then after Harry and Staysha had moved in - Harry had never seen his mother again.

But things were better now, he doesn't often have those days. It only occures a couple times a year now, and that's because he's gfinally getting over her. He doesn't want too turn out like an alcoholic father. That's the one thing he never wishes to happen.

He finally stops tickling Staysha, and she rolls off his chest onto the bed. Before she's giggling to herself and getting herself off the bed, padding around to Harry's side, her hair sticking up in different directions, her dress from yesterday all crinkled and rumpled up. She smiles wide at Harry as she places her hands on Harry's bicep.

"Daddy! Daddy. Get up. I want a shower. Daddy!" Staysha says tugging his arm gently.

Harry lets a small laugh out, as he slowly sits himself up. Swinging his legs to the side, he stands up. Running his fingers through his hair, he looks down at Staysha, whose looking up at him with wide eyes. He grins towards her, leaning down to pick her up, settling her on his hip as he heads out of his bedroom an down to the bathroom.

The bathroom is the smallest part of the apartment, there's a small shower cubical, a sink, a mirror, a toilet, and a tiny rack to hang the towels. He never complain though, because it's better then nothing.

Harry helps Staysha out of her dress, before he starts the shower up. He places his hand underneath the flowing water, waiting for it to go nice and warm, before he steps back and lets Staysha walk into it. He closes the shower door, when she lets out a small squeal at the water before giggling. He smiles to himself as he heads over to the sink, examining himself in the mirror.

Harry has his bottom lip pierced twice - as snake bites. His nose had been done, along with his eyebrow. His natural brunette hair, has been dyed too black with a couple of electric blue strips through it. When he pushes his long hair back behind his ears, both sides of his ears have been stretch to 15ML. His eyes rack down his chest, taking in his sleeves on his arms, and the tattoos littered across his chest.

Harry had gotten all of these tattoos in over the span of three years. His first one was when he was sixteen, and he just got hooked onto them. The piercings and the stretches didn't come in until last year, and his colour changing in his hair came in only this year, but nothingness he still liked his look.

He doesn't even think he looks as scary as people make him out to be, but then again people are quick to judge before they know people.

He hears Staysha make a small noise, and Harry turns to look at her. Her small head popping out from the shower as she looks at Harry. He gives her a small smile as she returns it.

"I'm finished daddy." She says with a tiny nod.

Harry lets a giggle out, nodding as well as he grabs a towel from the towel rack near the sink before he walks over to her. She steps out, and Harry is quick to wrap the towel around her body so she doesn't get cold.

"Daddy's going to have a quick shower okay? You just stay here while I do. Yeah?" Harry asks with a small smile.

Staysha just nods, moving over to the wall as she leans against it, wrapping herself up even more in the towel. Harry turns towards the shower, pulling his pants and boxers down before he quickly jumps in the shower.

His body breaks out into goosebumps when the hot water hits his skin, but he doesn't waste any time grabbing the soap, and cleaning his body off. He quickly washes himself, brushes his teeth in the shower before he gets out. Grabbing the towel hanging on the bathroom sink, he towels his hair off, before drying his body.

He wraps the towel around his waist as he walks to the bathroom door, pulling it open and letting Staysha walk out first before following closely behind her.

-

When they had both dried off and changed into clean clothes. They spent the morning eating breakfast on the couch, watching cartoons.

By the time noon came around, Harry was sitting in the middle of his lounge room with Staysha in his lap. Her hands were in Harry's curls, tugging them as she giggles, and Harry laughs leaning down to blow a raspberry on her cheek - which makes her try and squirm away from him. Harry's fingers go straight to Staysha's stomach, tickling her as she lets out a loud squeal, before she's bursting into a fit of giggles, squirming to get away from her fathers fingers.

He stops tickling her when she's out of breath, and her hands drop from Harry's curls. Harry's arms wrap around the small girls body, pulling her into his chest, hugging her tightly as she lets a small sigh out.

"I love you daddy." She claims, her small hands running up and down Harry's chest.

Harry smiles before replying to her.

"I love you too baby."

She giggles before she sits back looking up at Harry, her hands move from Harry's chest to his neck, before she's digging her fingers into Harry's neck tickling him there. Harry lets a gasp out, before he's laughing loudly scrunching his shoulders up in an attempt in trying to stop her.

He ends up falling backwards onto the carpet, as Staysha continues to tickle at Harry's neck. It lasts about another minute, before Stayhsa stops tickling Harry and collapses on his chest, laughing to herself.

They stay like that for a bit, Staysha lying down on Harry's chest, as Harry tries to gain his breathe back once again.


	2. Chapter Two.

They end up staying like that for a bit, Stayhsa laying on his chest, as Harry trails his fingers up and down Staysha's back.

When he had caught his breathe back and Staysha had gotten a bit bored, they both sit up, and Staysha is climbing off Harry's lap, moving to sit next to him in the ground. She shuffles over so she's tucked into Harry's side, and Harry grins to himself wrapping an arm around her as he lets a small sigh out.

They sit like for about five minutes before Staysha moves away, getting to her feet as she walks off down the hall. Harry watches as she disappears down the hallway, and he lets a small sigh out, she always tends to wonder the house when she's bored.

Looking down at his lap, his fingers pick at the rip in his jeans along the knee area, he lets his curls fall over his eyes as he bites his lower lip.

It's still really hard for Harry to raise Staysha all by _himself._

He knows he can handle her now, since she's still so young - but he doesn't know how he's going to cope for when she gets older, and into her teenage years. He has no idea if he'll be able to handle her in her journey through child too teenage stage. He's doing a good job now so far he like to think, looking after her with the help of Margret. Though no matter what, Harry knows he will always want another figure in Staysha life. He doesn't want her to have just one dad, he wants her to have another mum or maybe even another dad, Harry had never been specific on what gender he liked.

He just wants someone for Staysha to look up too as well.

Because no matter how much he convinces himself he's a good enough father. There is a thought in the back of his head telling him he's not.

_And that thought always scares him._

Harry's brought out of his own mind and thoughts when there's a loud knock on his door, his head snaps up towards the sound and his eyebrows furrow.

He doesn't know who that could be, Margret would usually call him before she came over - And, well, that's where everything falls flat, that's all he knows that would be here - unless, for some reason it's the owner, but Harry doesn't understand why he would be here, since he payed his rent just yesterday.

Harry pushes himself up off the floor, fixing his band shirt up - before he grabs the beanie on the couch, no doubt Staysha put it there after going through Harry's clothes, like she tends to do, tugging it down over his curls as he heads to the door. He looks over his shoulder quickly, to see Staysha disappearing back into their bedroom after hearing the knock. So he turns back towards the door just when another knock is made.

"Hold on." Harry says loud enough for the person on the other side to hear.

He licks his dry lips, moisterising them, before reaching up to the locks, unlocking them aswell before he grabs the door handle. Twisting it, and stepping back to let the door swing open.

The first thing Harry takes in when the door opens, is a bright blue shirt with the words "Free Hugs" etched into it. He furrows his eyebrows as his eyes move upwards to the persons face.

The boys skin is a tiny bit pal, he has a defined jawline - his nose is curved a tiny bit, and his eyes are wide and blue, brown hair is ruffled up ontop of his head, with bits of dyed blonde in them.

Harry's never seen this boy before in his whole life.

He doesn't even get a chance to speak a word before the stranger is already opening his mouth. A large grin spreading on his face.

"Hi! 'm Niall! Just moved in here, I live across from you!" He says, his eyes shinning bright.

Harry's eyes widen at how cheerful this boy is, before he raises one of his own eyebrows. He definitely isn't from around this place, or the country even. His voice is thick of an Irish accent, which he doesn't really know exactly where from. He's going too take a wild guess and say maybe somewhere in the Middle East of Ireland.

Probably.

He did visit Ireland once.

He sticks his hand out to shake Niall's hand when the other boy has his hand raised.

"Hey, Niall. Uhm. I'm Harry. Nice too meet you as well, I guess." Harry says dropping his hand back to his side after he finished speaking.

Niall rocks on the back of his heels, as he gives Harry a small nod.

"Harry! Nice to meet you too! I like your tattoos." He says with a nod towards Harry's arms.

Harry looks a bit shocked at that, people usually look at his tattoos once then say a sneer remark about them. He hasn't really met anyone yet who likes his tattoos, so he's a bit taken back with what Niall says. He blinks once, before he wipes the shock off his face, replacing it with a small smile as he nods at Niall.

"Uh. Thanks I guess?" Harry says biting down on his lower lip.

Niall continues to smile, as he crosses his arms over his chest. Giving his shoulders a little shrug as if to say 'no problem.' Before he licks his own lips. Harry watches as Niall's eyes narrow in on his piercings on his face and how his eyebrows shoot up that, before an even wider grin stretches on his face.

"Your piercings are sick! I have a mate who has his belly button pierced along with his tongue. It's wicked!" Niall says uncrossing his arms so he can clap them together.

A genuine smile crosses Harry's face at that moment in time - because that's, something, that someone actually doesn't mind his piercing or his tattoos. That this boy is actually friends with someone else who has piercings. It's, nice, Harry had gotten so used to everyone else up to the point where he thought everyone was the same - all hating on the people whp had piercings and tattoos - it's nice and refreshing to finally have met someone who doesn't care for them, and a bonus for even liking them.

Harry might have fallen a tiny bit in love with Niall for that alone.

"That's cool, I hadn't really met anyone who liked piercing or tattoos. It's kinda cool that you do." Harry says running his thumb across his bottom lip, before he lets a small gasp out.

"Oh! Shit sorry, did you want too come in? I should've asked earlier, just got carried away." Harry asks with a small awkward laugh.

Niall just grins at it nodding his head.

"It's fine, really, and sure! I'd love to come in." He says with a shrug, he waits for Harry to move out of the way before he walks inside the apartment.

Harry's never really had anyone come inside his apartment, besides Margret and his daughter. So, he isn't completely sure on what he is meant to do, does he offer Niall something to eat or drink? Does he show him the couch to sit on? Or does he just stand awkwardly and talk to Niall? He isn't so sure on what he's meant to do.

"You have a nice little set out going on here, my apartment is still pretty bare. Just full of moving boxes, ain't really looking forward to unpacking them." Niall says, sitting himself down on Harry's couch.

Right then, Niall seems to know what he's doing, so Harry goes and joins him on the couch.

"Are you living alone?" Harry asks, resting his arms along his thighs, bending forward a slight bit.

"Nah, I've got me a mate moving in with me. He won't be here until, like, tomorrow or some shit like that. He's always late to everything though, I told him I'm moving in today, and he did say he'd be here today - but he won't, he knows he won't, I know he won't. He'll be here tomorrow though. If not, I'm gonna ring his neck." Niall says laughing mainly to himself.

"Ah, fair enough." Harry states nodding his head. "Whose the friend?" He's curious now.

"His names Louis Tomlinson, good lad, really loud, a great laugh, can be a bit of an attention whore." Niall says with a simple shrug, a grin wide on his face, Harry's sure the boy never stops smiling.

"An attention whore?" Harry's never heard anyone call their friends that.

"He loves the attention, loves to bask it in. He's always gotta be the centre of everyones attention, always gotta have all eyes on him or he gets rowdya and grumpy. He is a great guy though, but yeah, he just loves the attention."

"Oh, I see. He seems like a handful."

"Oh he is! Trust me, he's a pain to live with as well. He never cleans up, never does the dishes or helps out in anyway. He's annoying like that."

"So, kind of like a child?"

"Yeah! You could say that, a man child."

"So why do you live with him, if he's like that?"

"Ah, because I love him. He's been my best mate for years, and I put up with him, he's amazing dismiss his homey flaws. A great down to earth guy, and I enjoy living with him. As long as he pays his share in rent and food I don't give a shit what he does."

"That's pretty cool of you, I don't know if I could handle someone like Louis Tomlinson."

"Don't sell yourself so short, he seems like a lot, I know that - but I bet you, you'll get along just great with him. Also he is going too love your piercings and tattoos! He's always had a weak spot for guys with those, he'd have posters of heavy metal singers in his room just to ogle at them." There's a cracker of laughter coming from Niall's lips as he says that, a long laugh indicating that he's remembered omething funny that must've happened with the posters.

"Wait, is he like, gay or something?" Harry says raising a curious eyebrow.

"Yeah, he's completely gay. He did have a stage were he thought he was straight, that was a great time. You're not against gays or anything?"

"No! Of course not! I can't really be against them when I'm bisexual myself, now can I?" Harry says with a laugh shaking his head.

"You got me there on that."

It feels, kind, of nice. To be able too have a conversation with someone, that just flows. Harry's never, had that connection with someone before. Someone, to just, talk too and carry on and on about anything. It's nice, it's something Harry could get used to if Niall ends up sticking around.

"Do you live with someone? Or alone?" Niall quirks up, giving Harry a small smile.

"Oh, ah-" he doesn't really get to say much more before he's hearing a crashing sound and his father instincts are kicking in before he hears the first wail of cries, and he's up and out of the couch running straight to his bedroom.

When he gets inside his room, he sees Staysha standing just a bit off to the left of his bed holding her hand, a broken picture frame on the ground. Harry rushes over to her side, picking her up and cradling her into his chest with one hand, and using the other to examine her sore hand. He doesn't see any blood or cuts, besides a redness on her fingers that look like she jammed them between something.

"Baby, what did you do?" Harry coos, looking at the shattered glass on the ground.

"Wanted, photo.. Draw closed. Hurt my fingers!" She cries into Harry's chest.

Harry sighs at it, making sure to hold her tight as he sways them back and forth a tiny bit.

"Are you okay now baby? Do you want some ice on your fingers?" He whispers into her hair.

"Please Daddy." She sniffles back, and Harry just nods.

He moves them out of their bedroom, back down the hall and into the kitchen, he completely bypasses Niall on the couch - because no matter how great it would be to have a friend in his life, his daughter will always come first.

He doesn't take long with getting the ice though, he's done this a hundred times before. He places her on the bench, gets the ice from the freezer, wrapping it up in a cloth and giving it to her to put on her hand, she holds it there as she looks up at Harry with wide, wet eyes.

"I'm sorry Daddy." She says, like she's on the blink of tears again.

"Shh, baby, it's okay. You're okay, I'll clean up the mess and it will all be okay." He reassures her, running a hand softly down her cheek before he leans down to peck her forehead.

There's an awkward cough coming from behind him, and he turns around to see Niall standing at the entrance of their kitchen, his hands clasped behind his back. Harry gives him an awkward small smile, but Niall just returns a bright one back at him. Harry gives him a little nod indicating that he can come over, Niall seems to smile even wider at that and comes to stand next to Harry.

"This is uh, Staysha, she's my daughter." Harry says, nervousness reeking in his voice.

He's terrified now, Niall accepted his piercings and tattoos, but would he accept that Harry has a kid?

Niall smiles down at the little girl, before he brings a hand out to shake hers. She looks at it, before she's placing the ice down and wrapping both her hands around his big one. Not quite sure on what Niall is exactly doing, but Niall just giggles at it.

"Hi, little one! The names Niall!" He says happily. "Can you say that? Ni-all?" He asks never breaking eye contact with her.

"Neil?" She says a bright smile back at him.

"Close enough." He says with a giggle before he turns back towards Harry when Staysha lets go of his hand.

"She's gorgeous Harry, honestly. I can see bits of you in her." Niall says seriously. "Is the mother, ah, still around? It's just, I don't see a wedding ring or anything like that, unless you're dating or something." An awkward laugh is placed at the end of his sentence.

"Ah, well, actually her mother isn't around. She's not, dead, she just, didn't want a kid. When Staysha was born, she palmed her off to me and said that she never wanted to see the kid or me again. So really, it's just me and her." Harry says avoiding eye contact with Niall, it felt a tad bit awkward confessing all that to Niall, but at the same time it felt good to be able to say that to someone.

"Oh, I see. That's really such a shame, she's a beautiful little girl! But, oh well, if the mother wants nothing to do with her, then screw her. You've done a fine job so far as I can tell, in raising her. So, yeah, you're a great father if my opinion counts for." Niall says, patting Harry's shoulder.

Harry's in love, he's in love with Niall.

He's never met anyone like this. He's never met someone who likes piercings, tattoos, and kids! He's never had this before, and he's so in love with this, with the idea of someone accepting him.

"How old is she?" He hears Niall ask, and Harry grins at him.

"She's three, but she's turning four in a couple of weeks." Harry informs, looking back at his daughter with a fond smile.

"Oh, sweet as! I'm so going to buy this little girl a present!"

"You don't have to." Harry says, suprised laced in his voice.

"I insist! Maybe, even throw a lil' party for her, I'll tell me mates and we can make it happen." Niall states his eyes shinning bright with happiness and excitement. "Only if that's okay with you though."

"Oh, uhm, okay, sure, yeah that sounds.. Amazing, really. She's never really, had a party. Had no one to invite to one anyway." Harry shyly admits.

"Well, it's all going too change starting now!" Niall exclaims patting Harry's shoulder. "But at last I gotta go now, I need go start unpacking and then I was meant to be meeting up with a couple of me other mates tonight." Niall says with a small frown, "Though I'll see you tomorrow? I'll bring me mate Louis 'round, introduce you two! I bet you'll get along fine!" Niall says the frown long gone.

"Sounds great, I'm working tomorrow from 6 in the morning to 5 in the noon, so, anytime after that will be good - and, I'd love to meet Louis." Harry nods, as he picks up Staysha from the counter before walking towards the front door with Niall.

He opens it with his free hand for the boy.

"Well, it was great meeting you Harry! I bet we'll be great friends!" Niall says, before he ruffles up Staysha's curls "It was also nice meeting you too!" He says a bright smile etched on his face.

"I'll see you both tomorrow, bye for now!" Niall calls out as he walks out the door.

"See ya!" Harry calls back as he shuts the door behind him, making sure to relock it.

"Well, would you look at that? Daddy made a friend." Harry says, with a small happy hum.

Staysha just giggles, leaning her head onto Harry's chest.

 


	3. Chapter Three.

Morning had come quickly the next day, he had been awoken by his daughter wailing in the lounge room, which caushed Harry to jump out of his bed and sprint down the small hallway to her in just his boxers while half tired, only to see his daughter sitting on the couch crying. Harry wiped his eyes, yawning to himself in an attempt to wake himself up more, before he moves over to her - kneeling down in front of her.

"Hey baby girl, what's wrong?" Harry asks as he puts a hand on her thigh, rubbing soothing circles into the skin.

"Don't go to work! Wanna spend day with you again!" She says wiping her eyes as she looks at Harry, her bottom lip trembling.

"Oh baby it's okay, I'll be home before you know it! Then when I get back, we can watch Shrek, yeah? Your favourite movie, does that not sound good?" Harry says forcing himself not to cry.

It breaks his heart every time he needs to leave for work when Staysha won't let him. He hates seeing his daughter cry over him, but he knows he needs the job, needs the money so they can stay living and eating. As much as it kills him, and makes him want to just stay home with her, he knows he can't.

"Yes, please Daddy." She says sniffling, while nodding her head.

"Awesome, I'll even cook your favourite dinner, spaghetti!" Harry exclaims making Staysha giggle and nod excitedly the tears now fadding away.

"Okay, so let's have a shower yeah? Daddy's gotta go to work and you gotta go to Margret's! Who knows, maybe you'll bake cookies today!"

-/

Dropping Staysha off at Margret's hss always been an emotional experience for Harry, she always cries, clings onto him and begs him not to leave which always makes Harry just want to stay 'fuck it' and take her back home to just lock themselves away from the world. But, of course he can't do that, so he just sucks it up and kisses her forehead before leaving.

Harry works at a bar, it's a full time, well paying job, and the only place that had accepted his piercings, tattoos and funky coloured hair. Even though his coworkers have the same type of style as him, they still don't get along nor talk to one another. So Harry tends to stick to his end of the bar, serve his own customers and never ask for any help from someone else. He always finds a way to figure it out on his own.

Harry scurries down the hall, it's currently 5:45am and he has 15 minutes to get to his work so he can be on time. He pushes the floor button on the elevator a hundred times, hoping for it to hurry up and when it finally dings and the doors open - he waste no time in getting in and pressing the button to close the doors so he can get down to the ground faster. He pays no mind to anyone around him when he reaches the ground floor and when the door opens, he's rushing out, he knows no matter how fast he runs he'll most likely be late to work. He knows he won't make it on time, but it can't stop him from rushing and atleast trying.

He pulls his beanie down on his head, as he rushes through the hallway sliding past people. He's doing a good job at dodging everyone and ignoring all the crude comments he gets everyday he comes down here. Though of course there's one person that Harry manages to bump into, well, he doesn't necessarily bump into him, he more like shoulder barges into the person then he hears a box drop and a "Fucking ow!" Being yelled.

"Oops, fuck." Harry says at the mess he just made.

A box has landed on the floor, luckily it didn't pop open, but it was labelled "fragile" and he fucking hopes to god he didn't break anything. He doesn't know what this person would do to him if he did.

He looks up at the person he rammed into, and he's lost for words for a split second.

The guy is, gorgeous.

He's small, with the best curves Harry has ever seen on a person, let alone a male. His light brown hair is half hidden under a snapback that's pulled backwards, small twirls coming out underneath the bottom of the cap at the back of his neck. He has such a sharp jaw line, and high cheekbones, stubble tracing along the edges. His eyes, they remind him of Niall's blue ones, expect, their a bit more brighter with these tiny splashes of green in them if he looks close enough. He's dressed in a pair of Adidas sweaters, and a white tank top showing off his bicep muscles along with a couple of tattoos he can spot.

The boy is, he's Harry's wet dream come to life.

"Hi, nice way too introduce yourself. Ram into someone and make them drop their moving box. Nice one mate." The boy says and Harry's snapped out of his fantasy.

"Shit, I'm sorry mate. Really am, I'm kind of in a rush.." Harry trials off, apologetic written on his face.

"What ever mate, just watch where you're going." The lad says bending down to pick the box up before he's walking off.

Harry takes a quick second to watch the boy walk away, and he doesn't miss how full and plump the boys arse looks in his sweats, before he's turning around and sprinting off out of the apartment buildings.

He's going to be so late to work.

-/

"Harry, I gave you this job because I know how badly you needed it.. But in saying that, that doesn't mean you can arrive thirty minutes late to your shift, please, do not let this be a regular thing." Harry's boss Ben says.

Harry just nods, keeping his mouth in a straight line as he watches as his boss sigh before he's shaking his head.

"There's a new boy working tonight, I want you to keep an eye on him. He knows the basics, he's worked at a pub before. I want you to just, watch him." Ben adds on before he turns around and walks off.

Harry sighs, nodding to himself as he turns towards the bar and grabs a towel. This is the only pub that's open 24/7 in the area Harry lives, and, it's not really classified as a pub where drunks like too come. Harry has seen many people come in for breakfast and lunch, then sometimes dinner. He kind of wishes, that he worked in the small kitchen area that was out the back of the bar. He knows he would enjoy cooking a lot more then mixing drinks, that's for sure.

He's cleaning a glass after serving his first customer of his shift when the new boy approaches him. Harry had kept an eye on him like Ben had asked him to do, and all he's taken note of so far is that the lad is very, very handsome.

He's a tad bit smaller then Harry is, maybe by a couple of inches, but it's his facial features that are flawless. His jawline is much more sharper then the lad he ran into this morning, his jawline and cheeks are covered in scruff - and his eyes are a dark caramel colour. His hair is short and slicked up, it's black with a silver strip through it. Both of the lads ears are pierced and he's wearing a black singlet showing off his sleeve tattoos.

"Hey, the names Zayn Malik. New guy." He says when he arrives to Harry, his voice smooth and weirdly calming.

"Harry Styles." Harry says giving him a small smile and nod.

"Sick piercings dude, love the colour in your hair as well. Wanted to say something earlier, but being new and all had a lot to do." Zayn says with a small laugh.

"Yeah, I was there once. Being new and they gave me a whole lot of shit to do. Once you stay and get used to it, becomes easier and what not." Harry agrees, nodding towards Zayn. "Also, same to you, you got a nice sleeve going on there." Harry quickly adds on.

Zayn quirks up at that, his lips forming a small smile. "Thanks man, my parents hated them, but oh well. It's my body. I'll do what I want with it." Zayn says laughing to himself.

"I hear you, own body, own rules." Harry agrees grinning back at Zayn.

"Do you need any help with anything?" Harry busies himself with cleaning a couple more glasses and checking to see what new liquor will need to be ordered.

"Nah, got it all down to pat. Not much different from where I used to work." Zayn admits, refilling up one of the peanut bowls. "Just thought I'd come over and introduce myself, be kind of rude of me if I didn't. Ben had told me you were like, the second owner of this place." Zayn shrugs to himself.

Harry, isn't necessarily the second owner of the place, its just he's been working here the longest, and Ben takes pity in him with his kid so he treats him just a tiny bit better then everyone else. They aren't friends persay, but they do have a good boss and employee relationship going on.

"Yeah, well, working here the longest and what not has its perks I guess." He jokes along finishing the list off. "Are you enjoying this bar so far?"

"Yeah, it's not bad. More cleaner then the last one I was at, but then again it was an old run down building. It'll shut down soon most likely, wasn't the best bar there is." Zayn says before he quickly excuses himself to Harry to go serve a customer.

It feels strange to Harry, just yesterday he met probably the most friendliest person there could be and today he met another guy who hadn't judged him straight away - even had a decent conversation with him. It feels weird and strange to have this nice stuff happening to him, but for some reason too him, it feels like it's building up to something bad. Like, every good thing comes with the bad thing. This is exactly how it feels, he's met some nice people, but what's the bad to come with it? How long will the friendships last? What bad is to come, what's the big fall that's bound to happen?

Harry honestly hopes he never finds out.

-/

Harry finished the day with a new number in his contacts.

He got along with Zayn pretty great, during the whole day they talked and chatted and got to know each other more in between serving and cleaning. Then by the end of the his shift at 5pm, Zayn wanted to swap numbers incase Harry wanted to hang out one day. Harry did end up telling him about his kid, because, that's something Harry couldn't lie about, even if he wanted too. Surprisngly Zayn was cool with it, telling Harry he had younger sisters and ever since he was little he loved kids thanks to his sisters.

Once again, it was strange to meet two people who didn't mind his looks and that he had a kid, strange, but Harry liked it.

Walking home, went as every other day always goes. Nothing's changed for that, he still gets the glares, the snares, the comments and the mothers and fathers hiding their kids. It still happens, and it makes Harry angry everyday when it happens. He just wishes people would fucking treat him like a human being, look past his tattoos, piercings and hair.

He just, fuck, wishes they were like Zayn or Niall.

Harry makes it back to the apartment complex and to his floor without either punching a wall or bursting into tears. The walks home just make him so frustrated that he could cry or hit something. He doesn't grab Staysha straight away, he opts for just clearing his mind and relaxing a bit before getting her. He's a bit too worked up at the moment, he doesn't want his daughter around him when he's like this.

He undresses out of his work clothes, puts on a regular band shirt and his black baggy pants. They're the typical goth pants - they have the chains hanging from them and zippers in places they don't need to be. They're stereotypical pants, and Harry only brought them as a joke on himself, but they turned out to be really comfy. He pushes his hair back from his eyes, tucking it under a beanie, then changes his piercings from ballpoints to rings before he heads out to pick his daughter up.

The time it took him to change and clean himself up, he had calmed down enough to go get his daughter.

He makes it to the lounge room when there's a knock at his door, Harry freezes up, his mind racing to who that could be, before he remembers that Niall said he was going to come over and introduce his roommate yesterday. Harry sighs to himself in relief, before he yells out that's he's coming as he heads over to the door.

When the front door opens, Harry is once again greeted by a friendly smile from Niall. Harry smiles back, hugs Niall back when he's pulled into a hug. It surprises him, he hasn't hugged anyone in awhile, minus his daughter. The last person to give him a proper hug was from his mother back before he even hit his teenage years properly. So he's a bit awkward at first, moving his arms around Niall to hug him. When he gets the gist of it, he hugs Niall as hard as he's hugging him before they're breaking apart - both with wide smiles on their faces.

"Hey mate, this is Louis. The bloke I was telling you 'bout." Niall says stepping to the left to show the boy behind him.

And, shit.

"No fucking way." The man, Louis laughs. "You've gotta be kidding me." He says, his laugh echoing the hallway.

"What?" Niall says dazed, Harry just stares at Louis with wide eyes.

"This is the fucking twat who ran into me this morning and didn't even bother to help pick up the box he made me drop. Which, by the way mate, broke me favourite fucking glass." Louis says, rolling his eyes as he glares at Harry.

"Was that you Harry?" Niall says his own eyes wide as he looks at Harry.

"Yeah, t'was me." Harry admits sighing heavily.

This is it, this is where Niall's going to think Harry's a horrible person and he'll stop talking to him. Harry's going to lose the first ever friend he ever made, and he feels the sadness already starting to take over his body.

"Oh, this is hilarious! Louis wouldn't shut up 'bout the 'fucking hottest bloke I've seen here, but so rude Ni, like didn't offer to help or anything.' Guy! This is great, didn't know it was you!" Niall says clasping his hands together as he laughs to himself.

Harry's awestruck by that.

Louis thinks he's hot. _Hot._

No ones ever thought Harry was ho beforet. It makes him, feel kind of good about himself, honestly. He looks over at Louis, whose still wearing the same clothes that Harry had met him in, and his cheeks are tinted a red colour but he's still got the glare etched on his face.

"Shut up Niall. He's still a fucking twat." Louis spits.

"That 'fucking twat' is standing right here." Harry interjects.

"I don't give a shit, you were rude to me this morning." Louis says holding his stare down at Harry.

"I was in a rush."

"You could've offered to pick the box up mate, wouldn't of been that hard."

"I was late for work, you already made me more late and I couldn't waste anymore time."

"Got no manners do ya? Nearly knock a guy over, break his favourite glass, then continue to blame him for making you more late at work. Don't even have the decency to apologise either for what you did. Absolute dick you are, you may be hot, but that does nothing for me with your attitude." Louis states.

Harry's taken back by everything Louis just said, he forgets all about ever finding him gorgeous and handsome. Louis is a downright twit, just like everyone else who judges Harry. He doesn't get to say anything before Louis got his arms crossed and he's moving his gaze to Niall.

"We're done here Niall, and if you don't mind. I'd like to go back to our apartment." He doesn't give Niall a chance to answer, before he's turning on his heels and storming over to his and Niall's apartment, opening then slamming the door shut when he walks in. Leaving both Niall and Harry in a daze.

"I'm sorry 'bout him. He's not usually, that, well mean." Niall says, Harry can hear the honesty and confusion in his voice. "I'll talk to him, I'm sure you didn't mean to purposely knock into him or anything. I'll try and explain that to him. I'm real sorry for this." Niall says trying to lighten the mood with a small laugh.

"No, it's fine. I'm used to it, I'm used to people not liking me. It doesn't matter." Harry admits sighing sadly, as he shakes his head.

"People should like you, you're great! But, I should head back and make sure Louis don't break anything. I'm sorry, honestly. Tell you what, next time you have a day off come over and we'll hang out. Maybe you can show me the neighbourhood and what not." Niall's smile is back.

Harry agrees to it, nodding and smiling wide at Niall before bidding him goodbye.

When he's gone, Harry heads back down to Margret's place to pick his daughter up. He stays at Margret's for a cup of tea, before its getting late and he heads home with Staysha. He doesn't get time to cook her favourite meal, they had something at Margret's, but they do have a bubble bath together before curling up in bed, watching Shrek until they both fall asleep.


	4. Chapter Four.

Things hadn't really gone according to plan, or how Harry would've liked for it to have gone yesterday.

He really likes Niall, the irishman is amazing, but he's scared that the impression he had on Louis is enough for Niall to stop liking him. Even though it's been two days, Harry had actually looked forward to Niall's visits or for when they see each other briefly in the hallway. It's, nice and refreshing knowing someone likes him enough to talk to him, even consider him a friend.

He wakes up, and dread is all he is thinking about.

It's all that's clouding his mind, he's dreading going to work, he's dreading leaving Staysha again, he's dreading seeing Niall, he's even dreading that he might see Louis.

Today will not be a good day for Harry, if the sinking feeling in his stomach is anything too go by.

He sighs to himself, waking up more before he gets out of bed and does his morning chores. Having a quick shower while Staysha is still sleeping, changing his piercings around, brushing his teeth and getting dressed for work. By then it's 5am, and he wakes Staysha up to feed her breakfast before taking her back down to Margret's. She cries, like she always does, and Harry leaves the apartments with a broken heart, like he does every morning.

He arrives to work on time this time, even with ten minutes to spare and he sees Zayn wiping down a table, the boy waves at him when he notices Harry, and Harry waves back giving him a grin.

They don't say much, they can't really talk in the morning when they have so much to do, to get ready for the day - doing everything for when people come in. Then by early afternoon, just after the lunch rush has just about cleared out Zayn comes over to talk to him, and it makes Harry's day a bit more brighter.

"Rough night?" Zayn asks with a small snort, he's said that line so many times already, but it's more 'rough day' - either way, it makes Zayn snort to himself.

"You could say that, had a pretty bad encounter with someone and I wasn't able to make my daughters favourite dinner because I had just been so tired. She didn't say anything really, we did eat at her babysitters place, but I knew she was upset that I couldn't fullfil her on that. Then I got up a bit earlier today to get to work, and it just - drains me being up so early, then working for so long." Harry admits, a small yawn escaping his mouth.

"Ah, I see, I see." Zayn nods biting his lower lip. "You need to maybe have a day off just relaxing, get out on a day off and like, do something? Go get a massage or something, relax a bit." Zayn suggests and Harry smiles at that.

"A massage would be amazing, to be honest. I'd love one! But, I don't know if anyone would do me, I'm not like, not many people like me." An awkward chuckle escapes Harry's mouth with a small shrug. "But, it's whatever."

"I actually, know someone who could give you a a massage. It'll be on the house if I ask him personally, he's a good friend of mine." Zayn says, his cheeks heating up a bit.

"A good friend?" Harry questions, a smirk on his face as he raises an eyebrow.

"Something like that." Zayn nods.

"Whose the friend?"

"His name is Liam Payne, I'll give you his number then text him asking for a massage , say Zayn Malik recommended you, he'll get it." Zayn nods before he's moving away when a customer is flagging him down.

Harry just grins at that, Zayn may look intimidating with his good looks, his stern facial features and structure. But, he's really a softie on the inside, he's known Harry for a day and he's already referring him to a male masseuse, getting a massage for free from the lad.

Harry's not sure if he's ever going to get used to people being so kind to him.

-/

The rest of Harry's shift goes by fast, by the time it's time for Harry to knock off his feet are absolutely sore. He hangs his towel up that he was drying dishes with, and stretches his arms above his head as he lets a groan out.

"You finished?" Zayn appears beside him, startling Harry a bit.

"Yeah, finished for the night. How about you?" Harry questions.

"Yup. 'M not working again for a couple of days though." Zayn says as he puts away the dishes Harry dried.

"You working Thursday then?" Harry asks looking at him.

"Yeah, but I got the overnight shift, so from 6pm to 6am, it's gonna be so fun." Harry can hear the sarcasm coming from Zayn as he says that.

"If you want I can talk to Ben, ask if he can put me on for the night shift as well for you." Harry suggest.

"Really? That'd be great, you're awesome and I love working with you." Zayn admits grinning.

"Sweet, I'll ask him tomorrow when he comes in. I'm not working tomorrow, but I'll drop in and ask. Maybe I could get that massage from Liam tomorrow?" Harry tacks on.

"I'll text Liam, ask for you. I'll let you know later tonight." Zayn says with a smile. "Do you head up Main Street heading home, or Corl Street?" He asks as they both start to make their way out of the bar.

"Up Main Street, and then down onto Lamer Street, what about you?" Harry hums as they walk out.

The sun has already set, so the streetlights are on, only a couple of people are walking along the pathway near them. Two cars drive past, one with their high-beams on that cause Harry to have to look away from the road so he doesn't get blinded, before the place goes an eerie type of quiet.

"I go up Main Street, but take a right onto Collings Drive." Zayn says with a small laugh.

"So we head in opposite directions near the end, I see, it's not like we both could go in one direction anyway with the different streets and all." Harry grins as they both start to head up Main Street.

"Nah man, gotta go our own ways, do our own things." Zayn's laughing now, and Harry can't help it but laugh alongside with him.

"Making it sound like we're in a band, and one of us is leaving." Harry laughs, before biting his lower lip.

"Let me guess, we'd be called One Direction and one of us would leave to go, in 'another direction'?" Zayn can't help it, he burst out laughing at that and Harry follows suit behind.

"That was good." Harry admits as they laugh together.

Zayn and Harry then fall into an easy conversation after that, sharing small jokes and laughing over nothing before they both have to part their ways and go in different directions to their homes. Harry bids Zayn a goodbye, before walking off and when he's about a twenty steps down the street he hears Zayn yell out another goodbye which makes Harry grin. His dimples popping out, and that's something that hasn't happened to Harry in long time for a stranger, his dimples showing.

The smile stays on his face for the whole walk home, he doesn't care about the people who sneer at him, because he simply just can't find it in himself to care. Zayn is a great guy, very attractive, and very nice. His posture, and structure makes him out to be this stone cold heartless person - but once he starts talking, he's the most sweetest and funniest person Harry could know. Harry really likes that about Zayn, it makes him feel happy inside.

When he reaches his apartment complex, he gets in and into the elevator without running into anyone, then when he reaches the top floor he lets a small yawn out, as he slowly drags his feet to his room. The tiredness has suddenly hit him all at once, but he doesn't even get a chance to get into his apartment, before the door across the hall is opening and someone is shouting.

"Jesus fuck, warn a guy!" Then the apartment door is slamming shut.

Harry's hand had been halfway up towards his own door when the shouting happened, so he turns himself around to see what's going on.

The shouting came from Niall's apartment, where Louis is standing outside, a cap once again twisted backwards on his head, just like when he first met him, and he's in just a pair of boxers and a white singlet. He's groaning to himself, as he picks at his shirt. Harry isn't sure on if he should say something, or not. Him and Louis haven't gotten off on a good start, so he's not sure if he should do something.

"What the fuck are you staring at, Emo Boy?" Louis says, and ah, okay, Louis knows what to say then.

Harry's eyes widen at what Louis says, soon he feels a pang in his heart from the comment. He, isn't sure why that is, he's so used to people hating him, even saying worse things than that. So he isn't sure as to why Louis words are hurting him as bad as they are.

"Ah, nothing. Just, heard a racket. Only just got home, is all." Harry says turning back around to fidget with his door handle. He groans when he realises it's locked, so he quickly shoves his hand in his back pocket to pull out his house key.

"You're so tense." He hears Louis say, Harry raises an eyebrow as he looks over his shoulder at him. "You get offended by everything, like, easily offended. It's kind of like, you don't respect yourself." Louis says, and Harry's a bit confused by what he's saying.

"What are you getting at?" Harry questions, turning around fully to look at him.

"Don't take shit so seriously, respect your fucking self Harry. Stop taking shit to heart." Louis says before he's turning around and heading off towards the elevator.

And, that was that.

Harry walks into his apartment room, confused as hell. He's not sure what Louis was actually getting at with his statement. It sounded odd, unusal to the max - he insulted him first and then, gave him some form of a compliment?

He sighs to himself, it's already been a long day for him and he just wants to get his daughter so they could cuddle in bed - but, before he can do that, he needs to have a shower. So he doesn't waste anymore time before he's heading into his bathroom, stripping himself from his clothes and getting into the shower. Not caring that the water is too cold to start off with, sklowly the hot starts to kicks in. He washes himself, his hair, brushes his teeth and then hops out. He towels himself dry before going into his bedroom and changing into the first pair of clean clothes he sees - which happens to just be a pair of black shorts and an Ed Sheeran concert shirt.

The Ed Sheeran shirt brings back fond memories when he tugs it on, it had been just before his daughter was born when he went and saw him live. It was an amazing concert, Ed really connected with the crowd which made Harry have one of the best night ever. From just the concert, Ed had seemed like such a cool and relaxed guy, who would be easy to get along with. Harry knows that if he was ever famous for any reason, he would try his damn hardest to be Ed Sheeran's friend.

He leaves his apartment like he does every night and heads down to Margret's. He hears the news on how well Staysha had been for the day, and what they had gotten up to. Staysha was excited to say they baked a cake and did some painting, Harry had smiled so fondly listening to everything his daughter was telling him. The after Harry bid his goodbye to Margret, after giving her, her money, he made his way out and back down to the hall to their apartment.

Louis was there once again, waiting out front of his apartment door. He was still dressed in what Harry saw him in prior, but this time he had his phone out - typing furiously on it. He had a scowl on his face, and he looked very exasperated.

Harry eyed him for a tiny bit, before he felt his daughter yawning against his shoulder and tugging at his curls lightly, he had looked away from Louis as he walked down the hall back to his apartment. He looks over at Louis when he's reached his door once again, and Louis has a tight grip on his phone but no longer looking at it. This time, he's looking directly at Harry. His eyebrow raised, then his eyes widen a fraction when he see's the little girl in Harry's arms.

"Is everything alright?" Harry asks, nodding towards Louis, before hoisting his daughter up further on his hip.

"Yeah, Niall has a 'lady friend' over so god knows how long I'm going to be stuck out here. Been here for what, two days and he's already got someone over." Louis rolls his eyes as he lets out a frustrated huff.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Harry apologetically says as he opens his door.

He's about to step in, dismiss a goodbye to Louis before something else crosses his mind.

"Did you uh, wanna come in until Niall's done? Like, I know you don't like me, but it beats standing out in the hallway." He shrugs, turning around to fully face Louis.

Staysha's by now had fallen asleep on him, and he's starting to feel how heavy she actually is. Harry's strong, but the weight of his daughter always takes a toll on him. Louis eyeing him, obviously going over the pros and cons of coming into Harry's apartment.

"You're not going to like, sacrifice me to the dark lord or some shit? The room walls aren't gonna be covered in like goth shit right?" Louis says his arms crossed over his chest.

"Jesus Louis, I'm not a fucking teenager anymore, even in saying that I never done that. I'm twenty one years old, just because I look a certain way doesn't mean I do the stereotypical shit linked too it." Harry groans rolling his eyes. "I was just offering if you wanted to wait in my apartment for Niall or not, I'm being nice. Make up your mind, because I do need to put this little girl in bed." Harry grunts out.

"Alright, okay, fine I'll come in. Only until Niall is done, then I'm out." Louis agrees, making his way over to Harry.

Harry just gives a hard nod in the direction of Louis, before he's walking into the room, not bothering to check if Louis had followed him or not. He goes straight to his room, puts his daughter in the bed - he'll have to give her a shower early in the morning, and wash her twice as much since she'll be missing out on tonight's shower. He kisses her forehead, turns off his bedroom light, and walks out, making sure to close the door - but not completely - enough to leave a small gap of light to shine in the room.

He slowly but quietly makes his way back to the living room, and he sees Louis preached on his couch. He doesn't dare go sit next to him or anything like that, instead he walks Into the kitchen - which is connected to the lounge room anyway.

"Differences, or hatred, what ever it is we have that you wan too call it, put aside. Are you liking it this area so far?" Harry decides to start, what he hopes to be is a friendly conversation with Louis.

"I'm not really sure." Louis answers.

Alright, so far so good, no insults.

"I mean it's different, didn't picture having an Emo for a neighbour though."

Never mind then.

"And I didn't think I'd have an asshole as a neighbour, but life is full of surprises." Harry shrugs, two can play at this game then.

"I'm not an asshole, I simply speak the honest truth and I say jokes. You're too sensitive to understand what is what, what's the truth and what's a joke. You just believe what you want to believe." Louis hums, he doesn't sound offended by what Harry had said. Instead, he looks a bit amused by him.

"I'm not too sensitive." Harry defends. "I just know what I am, and I'm used to it. You know, getting looked down on, cussed at, whatever you can think of, it's most likely happened to me. I'm not sensitive, I just know the truth from fiction." Harry's getting defensive, he can feel himself start to tense, he's either going to punch something, or worse, end up crying in front of Louis.

He really hopes he doesn't do either.

"You know it shouldn't be like that." Harry watches as Louis slowly raises up from the couch. "Being used to being treated a certain way, especially if it's just because of the way you look and dress yourself."

"You know, I just don't get you." Frustrated with everything, Harry groans. "You insult me, call me shit, even just yesterday, you had a go at me. But now you're saying I shouldn't be used to be treated this way, yet you treat me exactly the way everyone else does? What are you trying to get at?" Harry really feels like he's going to cry, he's just, so confused and so over all of these mixed signals.

"I snapped at you yesterday, I will apologies for that one. You did break my favourite glass though, which made me unhappy, and moving always makes me snappy. Ontop of that, I've had some other stuff going on with me, yesterday had been such a bad day for me. I let some of it out on you, I apologise." Louis says, and he's made his way over to the kitchen now where Harry is. The only thing separating them is the small bench Harry usually sets food out on. "You were rude to me yes, but I was ruder. So, I am sorry." Louis says biting his lower lip.

"You are really, something else Louis." Harry deflates shaking his head. "I was honestly scared that the impression I made on you yesterday was enough to make Niall hate me. I really like Niall, he's great. A good lad, and great to talk too." Harry admits.

"Niall's a character, I'll give him that one. But he's completely straight." Harry feels his heart tear a tiny bit, he didn't, love Niall or anything like that, but he did like him a tiny bit. Niall was just, so accepting. Maybe, he didn't even like him, maybe he liked just the idea of him being accepted. "I'm sorry, if you liked him or something?" There's a questioning tone in his voice as he speaks.

"Uh, no. I just, don't have many friends." He wants to say none, but he doesn't know how Louis would reply to that. He'd either be insulted or he'd say something to confuse Harry. "It had been nice to meet someone as accepting as him." Harry nods, bringing his hand up to scratch the back of his neck.

"I also want to apologise for calling you an Emo Boy, and asking if you'd sacrifice me to the dark lord and shit. It's just, it's my second night here and Niall's already fucking someone and kicked me out. So once again, I snapped and you just so happened to be there. So, I want to apologise for that as well." Harry's eyes widen at how sincere Louis voice sounds at what he's admitted. Once the surprise leaves Harry's face, a small smile takes over his face.

"It's okay, I'm used to it." He laughs awkwardly.

"You really shouldn't be." Louis repeats what he's already said before.

Harry just stays quiet at that.

The room falls quiet, and all that can be heard is the small chattering noise that is playing on Harry's T.V. The quiet between the both of them has given Harry the chance to think over things. It's been a weird couple of days for him, first in meeting Niall, then Zayn and now properly, Louis. With how things have been playing out, he isn't sure if he's ever going to get used to how things are going - he has two new numbers in his phone, so it's not just his boss's number and his mums number, which he hasn't even called in three years. He has Niall and Zayn's and they've both told him to text them. It's just, it's all new and nothing he's used to.

He isn't sure if this is how his life is going to be now, or if it's just temporary.

The silence is broken when a phone goes off, Harry snaps his head towards the sound. The phone in Louis hand is buzzing, and Louis rolls his eyes.

"It's Niall, which means I'm free to go back home. I'll see you around Harry." Louis dismisses before he leaves Harry alone, letting himself out and making sure to close the door behind him.

Harry watches him go, before he releases the breath he didn't even know he was holding.

Sighing for the twentith time today, Harry makes sure to turn all of the lights off before he heads to his bedroom. He's not working tomorrow, all he has to do is talk to Ben to see if he can work with Zayn on Thursday night and then if Zayn gets back to him, he may be able to get a massage. If not, he can spend the whole day with his daughter. He does love and treasure the days where he can just spend it with his daughter, and not have to worry about the outside world.

He slips into his room quietly, making sure not to disturb his daughter or wake her. He tugs his shirt off, pulls his pants down so he's in just his boxers and slides into his bed next to Staysha. He curls around her, pulling her small body close to his before tugging the blanket up over both of them.

As he holds his daughter tight, being on the edge of asleep and awake, he can't help but think that something is still missing, there's a missing puzzle piece and he isn't exactly sure on what it is.

It could be that the blanket isn't right, not warm or big enough for the both of them. Or it could be the feeling that there should be arms holding him while he holds his daughter.


	5. Chapter Five.

Two routines are set every morning for Harry, all depending around on if he has to work or not, it's two simple routines that he follows by every time he wakes up. It's been his routines for the past three years, and it's never once been broken.

His routine for when he has work, starts by waking up before the sun has even kissed the sky, having a shower and messing around with his piercings by swapping them from balls to rings. Than he makes breakfast for his daughter, when its made he'll gently wake her up and tell her breakfast is ready. She'll eat it, and then she'll shower while Harry will have her outfit picked out and ready to change into when she's finished showering. After that, Harry takes her down to Margret's to drop her off. He says his good mornings to Margret before he says his goodbyes to Staysha, and then he'll be off to work.

His routine for when he doesn't have work, is much more simplified. Him and his daughter will sleep in until the sun has well risen, then when they wake up they have a late breakfast before watching a movie. It's usually Shrek, his baby girls favourite movie. They'll watch that, and depending on the weather they'll either stay inside or Harry will take her outside and they would do something for the day.

It was Harry's routine, it was Harry's life he adjusted too. It's been that way for awhile now, that he's on autopilot just about every morning.

Today though, today had been different, and it all had started when he was awoken by a simple text.

-/

**_'Liam said he can fit you in today at lunch time for that massage, also, don't forgot to stop in and talk to Ben yeah? (: xx'_ **

It was a rare occasion Harry would fall asleep with his phone by his head, he usually has it on charge on his bedside drawer. But last night, he had a million and one things going on in his head and he forgot to put his phone on the stand before putting it on charge. He left it on his pillow before he had fallen asleep.

The buzzing noise is loud, his phone vibrates against his pillow slipping down until it hits the back of his head. It vibrates against his skull, and it awakens Harry for a weird feeling he was getting. His eyes slowly open, and he blindly reaches up for his phone and moves it away from his head.

A yawn makes it's way out of his mouth as he does a little stretch, hearing his back pop a tiny bit at the movement. He groans lowly, before he brings his phone up to his face to see what the buzzing was from.

Zayn's name comes across the screen and Harry's eyebrow shoot up as he unlocks it to read the text message.

Harry locks his phone after reading it and places it on his chest as he closes his eyes. He feels his heart rate speed up a tiny bit, before he calms himself down. It's too early for his thoughts to go into overdrive, but he just can't help it.

His life has flipped upside down in the past three days, more so then when he heard the news he was going to be a father. It didn't, flip majorly or anything dramatic like that. Harry went awhile not really having anyone, or any friends. Even in school he only ever had Healy Chers, his ex-girlfriend and that was that. He didn't have any friends, even though he didn't look the way he does now back in the school time. He looked, average back then, short curly hair and he had been a tiny bit chubby. But still, no one ever liked him or talked to him besides Healy, Harry never had a problem with it. Up until she left him of course, and then Harry had Staysha.

Harry didn't have a father figure growing up, he never knew his dad. His mother raised him good, he was sure she loved him. He had been proven against that when his daughter was born, and he never heard from her again after she helped him. That, alone broke Harry's heart more than his girlfriend dumping him ever did. Harry adored his mum, she was all he had when his sister up and left to live somewhere else. Harry's mum was everything to Harry, and then she just, left as well.

Harry came to the conclusion that everything or everyone he loves, leaves him.

Which, is why he's scared with how things have changed at the moment now. Harry has Niall, Zayn and he thinks maybe even Louis now. He classifies Niall and Zayn as a friend, since they're the ones who text him often and talk to him, even if it's only been three days. Harry's just, insecure about himself and maybe Louis had been right the previous night, when he said Harry was too sensitive.

He just doesn't want to give his hopes up for nothing, he doesn't want the boys to notice how weird Harry is and then up and leave him as well.

He just, he wants friends.

Harry let's a deep sigh out, shaking his head before he sends a text off to Zayn saying his thanks and that he'll go and talk to Ben. He puts his phone away, before he rolls onto his side and cuddles back up with his daughter.

Another hour or two of sleep is what he needs at this moment.

-/

Woken up for the second time in the morning, goes by Staysha repeatedly smacking his chest hard and saying 'Daddy' over and over. He wakes up slowly, smiles up at his daughter before he brings his hand up to her slim waist and pulls her down onto his chest, cuddling into her. She squeals and squirms, before giggling against him.

"Daddy! You not working today!" She sounds so happy, it makes Harry's heart flutter.

"I'm not no, but I do have a couple of things I gotta do." Harry does say with a small frown.

"Not spend the day together?" The happiness has vanished, and Harry wants it back.

"This afternoon we will, yes. But daddy has adult things to do this morning." Harry tries to simplify the wording down so she can understand what he means, his left hand comes up to play with her hair lightly.

"But you always spend all day with me." She's genuinely upset now, and Harry just wants to cry. God, he's been wanting to cry for a bit now, he may end up actually breaking down one day if this keeps up.

"I know baby, but I can't today. I promise when I'm done we can watch whatever you want and eat whatever." He promises and Staysha smiles at that.

"Going to Margret's?" She questions.

"Only for a bit, promise." Harry nods.

So Routine One kicks in, even though it's a day off for him. It's odd to say at least, he's used to spending the whole day with his daughter on his off days, but he knows that it won't happen today. He dresses her into her favourite flower dress, while he himself dresses into a pair of black skinnies and a tight black tank top. He does what he always does, drops her off and kisses goodbye.

When he's outside the apartment, he brings his phone out from his back pocket and unlocks it. He finds Zayn's name, then calls him up.

It rings twice before there's an answer.

"Harry, mate, hey!" Zayn says, he sounds genuinely happy to be hearing from Harry.

"Hey Zayn." Harry says biting his lower lip. "Was just wondering where Liam is? For the massage?" He hesitatingly asks.

"Oh! Yeah that's right." There's a chuckle on the other line. "He's at my place actually, if you want to come down he can do it here. He has all the stuff."

"He's at your house?" He questions.

"Yeah, Liam lives with me." There's another laugh. "I'll text you my address and I'll see you soon." Zayn says and Harry agrees before Zayn's hanging up.

Zayn had said Liam was a really good friend of his, and it's not awkward to live with friends. People do it all the time, it's just the way Zayn had sounded that makes him think there's a tiny bit more going on that Harry isn't completely sure of.

His phone buzzes in his hand, and he unlocks it reading Zayn's address. He copies it and pastes it into his maps on his phone, then he presses start - Siri's voice speaking him the directions on where he is to go, according to the app, Zayn is only a fifteen minute walk away from where he is. Harry grins at that before he sets off walking.

For the first time in awhile, Harry doesn't give a shit about the looks or remarks he gets as he walks down the road to Zayn's place. He doesn't care if no one likes what he looks like today, he simply just, does not care. There's a happy step in his walk, and a smile indissoluble on his face.

When the voice on the map app goes off, saying that he's arrived at his destination he turns it off before looking up at where he is. Surprise washes over him.

Harry had just assumed that Zayn lived in an apartment complex like himself, but he was proven horribly wrong on arival - Zayn lives in an actual house.

Harry can not remember the last time he had set foot in an actual house.

Zayn's house wasn't overly big, wide and fancy. It was small, long and it had a homey feeling to it. A warm feeling sets in his stomach as he walks up the small pathway to the veranda, and he walks up the three steps to the wooden front door. He gnaws at his bottom lip as he brings his hand up to knock on the door.

He knocks four times, before he's hearing some rustling around in the house and then the door is being pulled open.

Zayn's standing there, in only a pair of boxers and Harry's eyes go straight to all the tattoos littered on Zayn's chest and shoulders. He tries so hard, not to show the revelation on his face as he takes in the appearance of Zayn shirtless. If he thought Zayn was attractive with clothes on, nothing could stop the wild thoughts running around in his mind at seeing him shirtless.

"Harry, you made it! Liam's in the lounge room, he just finished setting up the massage table for you." Zayn greets while Harry smiles small at Zayn.

"Awesome." He nods and Zayn steps aside to let Harry in.

He tugs his shoes off once he's inside, putting them next to the other set of shoes inside the house. Before Zayn is shutting the front door and leading Harry down to the lounge room.

The walls are covered in sketches, and art frames. There's even picture frames littered on the wall as well - he also spots a couple of plotted plants in a couple of the corners in the house as Zayn leads him down the hall.

Harry was right about this place giving off a homey feeling, it looks like the perfect little home for a couple.

Harry's heart flutters at the thought.

"Liam, Harry's here." Zayn says solicitous towards Liam.

Harry stops looking around at the walls when they've reached the room, and when he hears Zayn introduce the two Harry looks over to the person Zayn had been indicating too.

Liam's build was what caught Harry's attention, he was probably a tiny bit shorter then Harry. But his shoulders were wider, he had a lot of muscle along his biceps and Harry is one hundered percent sure the boy is supporting a pair of six packs underneath his sheen white shirt. His jaw was covered in stubble, like Zayn's, he had bushy eyebrows and a buzz cut with the hair slowly starting to grow back.

The lad was, well attractive. The three new boys Harry had met had all been attractive, so what was to say Liam wasn't as well?

He didn't find it fair that the universe was throwing attractive young men at him, almost as if the universe was torturing him in a way with it.

"Hello Liam, the names Harry. As you may already know." Harry greets, sticking his hand out for Liam to shake.

Liam smiles, and it reminds him of a puppy, as he raises his hand to shake Harry's back.

"Nice to meet you Harry, here take your shirt off and lay down on your stomach on the table." Liam instructs moving to show Harry the massage table.

Harry just nods at what Liam says, and he slips his shirt off, folding it up and putting it down on the small coffee table. He follows Liam's instructions, getting onto the massage table, laying down on his stomach and crossing his arms over, so he can rest his chin on it. He looks over at Zayn whose sitting on the chair, his legs pulled up and crossed over as well and he has a book in his hand, glasses that weren't on him before now perched on the bridge of his nose.

"Thanks, for this. Honestly." Harry decides to speak up, before he looks around the lounge room taking in all of the surroundings.

"No, it's okay. Zayn asked me if I could do this for you. Said you were really tense from work and in need of a good massage, I honestly don't mind." Liam says, there's a noise of a bottle opening, a squeezing noise and then not a minute later there's hands on his back, Harry let's a small moan out when Liam starts to put pressure onto his shoulder - massaging into the skin.

Harry's head drops, as he lets his body relax more under Liam.

"Thank you, again seriously." Harry sighs happily.

"So Zayn tells me you have a daughter called Staysha." Harry nods his head in acknowledgement to the statement before letting a small hum out, before Liam's continuing. "How is she?"

Harry groans when he feels Liam's hands working on a knot in his shoulder.

"She's good, yeah. I haven't seen her much this past week due to from work and what not, but she's good. Adorable as hell." He laughs, mainly to himself.

"Do you have a good father and daughter relationship with her?" Liam intends on keeping this conversation going as he works his hands over Harry's back.

"Yeah, it's very strong. I spent a lot of time with her, teaching her to walk, talk and all that. Her vocabulary is really good for a three year old." Harry remarked.

"Sounds nice, I'll need to meet this little one hopefully." Liam avows.

"Her birthday is in two weeks, maybe you could come along to it. You as well Zayn." He makes sure to acknowledge Zayn's presence. "I usually just stay at home, make her a cake and watch what ever movies she wants too watch. Margret usually drops in, that's her babysitter by the way. Staysha doesn't really, have many friends, it's only really just me and Margret as her friends. When she goes to prep next year, I'm hoping she makes some." Harry divulges.

"I'm sure me and Zayn would love to come to her birthday party, what does she like?"

And after that simple question, the conversation just flows.

The massage last for about an hour, and throughout the whole time, Liam and Harry had been talking non stop. Zayn was still on the couch, reading his book and making the odd comment every now and then. Other than that, most the talking that was heard came from the chatter of Liam and Harry. It was wonderful - Harry loved it. He's never been able to have a flawless conversation with anyone in a bit, besides Niall and Zayn, and it's just sensational.

By the time the massage has finished, Harry had never felt more relaxed than ever and he stays for a tiny bit longer with the two boys, talking about nonsense, before he bids his goodbye to them and heads out of the house.

He suddenly remembers that he needed to go see Ben, to ask for a swap shift, so he heads down to Main Street before heading to his work.

Upon reaching the bar, Harry can feel the way that his body is more relax then previously. How his muscles have loosened up more, and he feels a bit lighter. Not as tense as he used to be, Liam was amazing with his hands.

Harry heads into his work, and it's a bit more packed than usual. His eyes widen a tiny bit by the amount of people that are there, before he shakes his head and makes his way through the crowd. He makes his way up to the bar, only bumping into a couple of people on the small journey there. He spots Ben at the end of the Bar, and he raises an eyebrow before he lifts a hand up to flag him down. It takes a moment, but Ben see's him then he nods towards Harry before he makes his way down.

Harry leans over the bar a bit when Ben is in front of him, so it's easier to talk and hear him.

"Harry, what's up?" Ben questions.

"Just needed to ask about swapping shifts, instead of working Thursday day, can I work the Thursday night?" Harry enquirers.

"I'm not sure Harry, I've already done the roster up for this week. I mean, I can ask if Dave wants to swap with you. He's on for that night. I'll ask him if he wants to." Ben shrugs.

"Yeah, okay that's fair enough. You'll text me, or call me if I can?" Harry hopes to god, that Dave will swap with him.

"'Course." Ben nods, before he dismisses Harry and moves away to serve another customer.

Harry just nods, mainly to himself, before he makes his way out of the Bar. It wasn't a solid answer, not what Harry was hoping for. He honestly thought that since Ben was the owner of the place, he would be able to just swap the shifts like that - but then again, it is always nice to warn other work mates before doing so. He's just a bit disappointed with the answer is all.

He pulls his phone out and sends off a text to Zayn, telling him that he has asked Ben for the shift swap and that it wasn't a defiant answer but he hopes that he'll be able to swap for him.

When he puts his phone back away, he pushes through the last mob of people before he's finally out of the bar and into the fresh air.

"Harry!"

Someone calls his name when he's out of the building, and he turns around at the voice who called him.

Surprise takes over his facial features when he see's Louis leaning against the building wall. There's a smoke in his hand, that's unlit and a lighter in his other. Looks like he was just about to light the smoke. The lad is dressed in these grey sweat shorts, that cut off at the knees, his feet clad in a pair of toms and a marvel T-shirt hangs loosely off his body. Louis doesn't put much effort into what he wears, but yet he makes everything look flawless.

Harry notices he's not wearing a cap, but instead a beanie this time.

"Louis, hey?" Harry says tentative.

Louis smiles at him, before he's pocketing his lighter and placing the smoke under his beanie and behind his ear, before he moves away from the wall to make his way over to Harry.

"How've you been?" Louis asks, and Harry isn't sure what's going on, but they both start to begin walking along the pathway.

"Good, actually. I got a massage this morning. Made my back feel better." It's not as awkward as Harry would've thought talking to Louis would be.

After the conversation they had last night, it's been playing in the back of Harry's mind. They didn't have the best meeting, and Louis did insult him a fair bit. But he sounded so sincere about Harry being used to being treated horribly, and he could tell Louis genuienly didn't think Harry should feel that way.

Louis tends to give off mixed singles every time he and Harry have a run in. Harry wants to figure him out, see what his motives are exactly.

"That's really good." Louis notes. "Any particular reason to why you went into the pub? You were in and out pretty quick, usually people who walk in there aren't out until at least for a couple of hours." Louis jokes, a small laugh escaping his mouth.

"Just needed too talk to my boss, asking about swapping shifts." Harry grins, giving a simple shrug towards it.

Louis hums in acknowledgment, and then things fall silent between the two as they walk.

And it's, not bad.

The quietness between them isn't awkward, or tense. It's, relaxed and calmed and it's something Harry really likes, being able to be in silence with someone and not have it tense and bad. The small smile on Louis face stays put, even when no words are being said, and Harry knows he has a grin on his face as well.

They walk in silence for another ten minutes, before its abruptly broken.

"Oh look out! It's the Satan worshiper! What a fag! Emo fag!" Is being shouted out towards Harry, and the mood between Harry and Louis is broken.

Harry's smile drops, and his walls are back up.

His body goes tense as he walks, and he keeps looking forward. His strides are longer, he can feel the hot angry tears wanting to escape his eyes - he blinks them back furiously.

Louis scrambles behind Harry, after flipping off the tosser who insulted the taller lad. It takes him a bit to catch up to Harry, and when he does, he doesn't hesitate onto grabbing the taller boys bicep and pushing him into the closet ally way. He pushes, and pushes until he has Harry crowded up against a wall. Harry doesn't make eye contact, he lets his body hit the wall and he feels his muscles loosen before his body is dropping and his falling to the ground, pulling his legs up to his chest closing his eyes and breathing heavily. He won't cry in front of Louis, he won't stoop that low, but he needs to calm down and get his breathing back into rhythm.

"Harry, fuck." Louis whispers before he's crouching down in front of Harry. "Why do you let this get to you? Why do you let these words tear you down Harry? They're pathetic words said from pathetic people, why do you let it get to you?" Louis asks, his voice is laced with sadness and concern and it makes Harry feel really bad.

"I don't usually let it get to me." Harry speaks softly. "Usually I just ignore it, and head home. But, I just was having a good day and it just, got ruined." He admits letting a heavy sigh out, his eyes glossing a bit. "I'm used to it, but I just hate it."

"You shouldn't be used to this Harry, or let alone let this even happen." Louis distresses.

"It happens to me everyday Louis, why shouldn't I be used to it? I get judged every morning when I leave my bloody apartment, because of how I look. They judge me, before they even get the chance to know me. Mothers hide their kids when they see me, fathers sneer at me. Old people look on the bridge of having a heart attack staring at me. Everyone just, judges me, when I've never done anything wrong to anyone." He feels the tears, he knows they're coming. "It tears me down everyday, I can't provide the life I want for my daughter when I can't even look after myself." Harry ignores the surprise look on Louis face when he mentions his daughter, before its masked by dejection.

"It's been happening my whole life, it's not something that's just happened out of the blue Louis. People, just generally don't like me - hell you didn't even like me when we first met." Harry confesses.

"I was having a bad day Harry, I didn't hate you. If I wasn't in a shit mood myself I would've been nicer. I'm sorry for that." Louis bites his bottom lip, holding back more to what he wanted to say. He didn't really want to blurt out that he thought Harry was really attractive, that his heart skips a beat every time he sees him. Even though it's been a couple of days, Louis enchanted by Harry, enchanted by the broken insecure boy.

Besides, Niall's already told Harry, Louis thought he was hot, and Louis wasn't proud with the way he had reacted. His defence was calling Harry out on having a rude personality.

"It's fine Louis, I'm used to it. Fuck, I say that so much." Harry whimpers shaking his head. "I just want to be strong, not care what people say. I want to be the father figure my daughter admires, not this coward of a person that I am." A heavy sigh leaves Harry's mouth before he stands himself back up.

"I need to go, I need to get home. I promised my daughter we'd spend the day together." Harry's recovered a tiny bit from his small breakdown. "I'll see you around yeah, neighbours and all - it'll happen." There's an awkward laugh, before Harry nods towards Louis before he turns around, and walks out of the alley way.

Something changes for Louis as he watches the boy walk away, something inside him stirs, and changes. Louis can feel his heart beat picking up a tiny bit, as he watches Harry's back disappear from his view. Louis' breath is uneven, and he closes his eyes as he tries to even it out.

Something changes right then and there, and a promise is made in the air.

No matter what, or how hard it is - no matter what obstacles life throws at him, Louis knows exactly what he's going too do.

He's going to be the person who brings Harry out of his shell, show him the ways to stand up for himself and become more confident in who is as a person and soul. Louis going to be the person Harry can trust, can even lean on. Louis is going to be the person to make Harry a greater, more confident guy.

Louis is going to be that one person Harry needs.


	6. Chapter Six.

Two weeks have passed, and before Harry even gets a grip on how fast the time has flown, it turns out to be Staysha's birthday today.

Ever since he had that little meltdown in front of Louis, he had tried his very best to stay as far away from Louis as he possibly could. It's nothing too do with being ashamed or anything along those lines, it was just awkward for him. He knows he's meant to be the strong one for his daughter too look up too, to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, and not give a flying fuck about what anyone thinks. But for him to just break and almost lose himself like that in front of Louis, has just became a really awkward situation towards him.

So now he's trying his best to ignore the other lad, it became to be a bit hard due to that they both live in the same building, but also hard as well with the fact that Louis is his neighbour. Harry is still very good friends with Niall, so he knows he won't usually see Niall without Louis.

Though luck decided that it was going to be on Harry's side for once - Louis hadn't said one word about his meltdown to him, or even towards Niall - instead he just talks to him about his day and treats him like nothing had ever happened. Harry is very thankful for that, for Louis not mentioning anything to him or anyone else. Unfortunately for Harry, the incident keeps on playing in his own mind, causing him to act indifferent around Louis then more so tends to deny any invitation to hang out with Niall in a fear of running into Louis.

He was awoken early in the morning by his daughter repeatedly smacking his chest and pinching extremly hard at his tattoos, begging him to wake up, and too stop 'being such a lazy Daddy.'

Harry groans, wrapping his arms around her small body, before he's flipping her onto her side and snuggling up to her more. He smiles against her side, hearing the little girl let out small giggles.

"Daddy! Wake up! My birthday!" She squeals turning so she can reach and pinch at Harry's cheeks, still giggling to herself.

"Ugh." Harry longly groans, shaking his head. "How about we sleep for your whole birthday?" Harry asks smirking to himself, his eyes still closed.

"No!" Staysha says twisting her way out of Harry's arms. "You have to wake up for presents!" She exclaims. "And Neil will be here soon!" Staysha dramatically cries out.

Harry lets another groan escape his mouth before he finally opens his eyes and sits himself up. He had completely forgot that Niall was meant to be coming over, he didn't really believe Niall when he first said that he would come over for Staysha's birthday as well as brings some friends. He had honestly thought Niall was just being kind, he didn't think he would actually have any promise behind the words he said.

But, he did.

Now he's coming over for Staysha's birthday, which makes Harry's heart flutters a tiny bit.

Harry had admitted to himself finally, that he had a tiny crush on Niall. He wouldn't deny it anymore, Niall had been everything Harry had wanted in a partner, when he became so accepting of Harry it had been that, that won him over straight away. Through finding out that Niall was straight, it took a bit for Harry to accept it and try his hardest to just get over Niall - to look at him as more of a friend then anything else. Harry didn't really mind that, it did take some times too do so, but now the more he thinks about letting his crush on Niall fade, he can see how much more Niall can be as an amazing friend.

He suddenly remembers that Zayn and Liam were going to come around as well, and a small smile fits over his face at the simple thought. He doesn't know why, but, he's just so happy. Happy that it won't just be him and Staysha on her birthday again, that she'll have other people around to celebrate the day - even more presents to open then the ones Harry gets for her. THe whole ideal makes him really happy.

His smile suddenly vanishes though, replacing with a frowen when he registers that if Niall is going to come over for her party, there is a high chance that Louis will be attending as well, it's not like Harry doesn't want Louis at his daughters party, he just knows he still isn't competely ready to face him head on properly. He knows he will only be able to busy himself with Staysha and the guest for only so long, before he'd be forced to talk too Louis.

He gets pulled out of his trance when Staysha makes her way onto his lap, her hands coming straight up to play with his hair - she has always loved how long and soft his hair has been.

"Daddy, I'm 4 today!" She says with a big smile on her face, her tiny dimples showing.

"You're getting so big!" Harry says moving his hands to her slim waist pulling her close into his chest. "Happy birthday baby! Did you want to open a present now or wait for everyone else?" Harry asks kissing the top of her head - she stays in silent for a solid minute, before she finally comes to an answer, and shakes her head.

"Wanna wait." She nods - Harry just grins at that.

"Alright doll, how about we go have a shower then yeah?" He proposes.

"Okay!" She says before she's squirming off his lap and racing towards the bathroom. Harry gets off the bed, trailing behind her while laughing to himself.

-/

It was around lunch time - two hours after Staysha had woken Harry up that he receives a text from Niall.

_**"Party for Staysha is set up!!! Bring her over!!! And show your face too!! :))))"** _

Then just like that, it hits Harry like a truck going full speed - he knew Niall wanted to celebrate Staysha's birthday it just slipped his mind that Niall wanted to also actually throw a proper birthday party for her aswell as have some of Niall's friends over as well. A large grin takes over his face as he looks over at Staysha who's happily watching Shrek, once again, on the television.

"Hey hun." Harry says walking over to the couch, moving to stand in front of her, effectivly blocking her view of Shrek, which makes her whine a little bit.

"We're going too go over to Niall's, he has a big surprise for you!" Harry exclaims happily, taking in the way that Staysha lights compelety up on the idea of going to Niall's.

"Yay!" She exclaims happily, hopping off the couch and making her own way towards the door.

Harry grabs his presents he purchased for Staysha off the kitchen bench as he heads over to his front door, he opens the door and before it's even open the whole way, she slips out and excitedly runs across the hall to Niall's door. Harry doesn't get a second to close his own door before he can hear Staysha knocking on Niall's door and hearing Niall's door being opened. Harry hurries up on closing his door and locking it, before scurrying up over to Niall's door.

Niall's standing at his door dressed in a pair of denim shorts and a white polo shirt - grinning down at Staysha, before he looks up at Harry when he hears the lad make his way over, his smile only growing even more towards him.

"Staysha and Harry! Just in time, come on in." Niall laughs, standing aside to let Staysha hurry in and Harry tends to not be that far behind her.

His eyes widen when he takes in his surroundings.

The lounge room has been decked from head to toe in balloons, ribbons and sparkly figures. There's a banner hanging from the lounge room to the kitchen saying "Happy Birthday Staysha!" On the small coffee table between the TV and couch is a stack of presents he assumes is all for Staysha. Then too top it all off, there's also a lot of people here as well.

He can see Zayn and Liam in the kitchen cooking something up, Margret sitting on the couch talking to someone, and then there's a random lot of Niall's friends and there's even a couple of kids around Staysha's age as well. Staysha ends up disappearing from his sight to go and play with a small boy with blonde hair.

"I didn't know who to really invite. So I invited some of my very close mates, and my brother and his wife brought their son Theo. That's who Staysha is playing with at the moment." Niall says walking up to Harry's side. "Louis invited his eldest sister Charlotte, Lottie for short, and his two second youngest twins. Phoebe and Daisy. They're both seven, Theo is three and Lottie is seventeen." Niall fills in the information. "He was going to invite his youngest twins, but they're only in the age catergory of two and his mum didn't want them travelling so far, and his second eldest sister Felicite is on a camp." He tacks on.

"This is amazing, Niall seriously. This is going to mean so much to her and me! She's, never had a proper birthday party before. Thank you so much." Harry says turning around to give Niall a massive hug.

He doesn't comment on the length that Louis went through to bring his sibilings along, he doesn't even bat an eyelash too it - he can't get more confused then he already is with Louis.

Niall just laughs lowley, hugging Harry back while rubbing his back.

"It's all good. Said I was going to throw a party for her - so it's what I did. Louis did help as well, it wasn't all just me." Niall grins pulling away from Harry. "So when did you want to do the cake and presents?" Niall quirks up, his eyebrow raising.

"I reckon maybe another hour? Let her get to know everyone and, I want to meet your friends to thank them for all of this." Harry says, and Niall just nods.

Once again he doesn't think too much into the Louis comment.

So for the next hour, Harry says hello to Margret, along with Zayn and Liam. Before he's getting introduced to Niall's closest friends, and they all turn out to be great guys. Most are Irish like the man himself, some are even American. Soon Harry slowly comes to the realisation that Niall has a hell of a lot of friends. He gets introduced to Niall's brother Greg and his lovely wife, they're really nice and Theo is just as adorable. He soon ends up meeting Lottie, Daisy and Phoebe and they're all lovely - even when he does catch Lottie checking him out a couple of times. Even though he knows that she is underage by a year and Harry would never do anything like that - a small part of him still likes the thought of someone checking him out.

He feels so low in himself, that he will crumble at the thought of anyone showing any type of interest in him.

It's kind of pathetic.

Louis ends up showing up when it's time for the cake, so Harry pretends that he didn't notice him never being here.

When the cake comes out Harry ends up nearly stumbling over when he sees it.

It's massive, much bigger than anything Harry has ever seen - it's rainbow coloured with the icing cream looking fluffy and light. Theirs four candles placed ontop of it, with Staysha's name written all around it. It makes Harry smile so big and he feels the smile splitting his cheeks when he sees how excited Staysha gets at seeing the cake.

"Sorry 'm late guys. The bakery was running late on getting this cake done. Though now it's here! So let's get this party started properly!" Louis finally says, glancing at Harry a couple of times during his speech.

Harry bites his lip hard, before Zayn is handing him a lighter and Harry's moving towards the cake to light the candles for Staysha. Once they're lit, Harry picks her up as everyone starts to sing happy birthday. By the time the candles are blown out, and taken out of the cake - Staysha's hands are already in the cake digging away causing everyone to crack up laughing as Harry attempts to pull her away from the cake, laughing along as well.

"Hey! Not just yet little missy." Harry chuckles towards Staysha as she licks the icing cream off her fingers. "We have too cut it up and give a piece to everyone here baby." He smiles and Staysha just nods fast before Harry places her down.

One of Niall's friends offers to cut the cake while Liam hands pieces out to everyone. Once everyone has a slice and eaten it, they all sit down on the ground for Staysha to open up her presents.

Most of Niall's friends had gotten her clothes, since they weren't a hundred percent sure on what to exactly get her. Liam and Zayn had gotten her a really fluffy teddy that she took an instant liking to, hugging it to her chest hard, before moving on to opening more presents. Niall ended up getting her every season of a cartoon show called Monster High along with all the Shrek movies - because Harry had let it slip to Niall once that those were her two favourite movies. Louis siblings got her the kid make-up, and Louis had gotten her a Monster High doll. When it came down to the last present for Staysha, the one from Harry himself, she climbed into his lap to open it up.

It was only small, but when she teared the paper open she let out a happy squeal picking up her present.

It was a small, stuffed Shrek teddy that had her name engraved in the stomach.

Harry knows it's kind of a lame present to get her, compared too the others he now sees, but he knows how much his daughter just loves Shrek, and how much she would have loved the teddy. She turns around in his lap, smiling widely at him before she's leaning up to hug him around his neck.

"Thank you Daddy!" She says kissing his cheek before letting go and turning around. "Thank you all!" She says to everyone who just smiles back at her.

After the mess of presents are cleaned up, Staysha disappears again this time with Daisy and Phoebe. Harry's in the kitchen now, pilling up the dirty dishes on the sink - he already promised Niall that he would do them, as a thanks for the party. Niall had attempted to refuse, but after a bit of demanding on Harry's side, he got it his way - so he's going to do them.

"You know, Niall had told me about your daughter, but she's so much more gorgeous in person. She looks a shit tone like you Harry." It startles Harry, the voice that kind of appeared out of nowhere and he turns around to see the person speaking to him.

It's Louis, of course it's Louis.

Harry takes in that he's wearing a nice pair of fitted greyish jeans, along with a nice button up shirt. His hair is swept mostly to the left, and he looks, dare he say, really handsome.

"Thank you." Harry whispers, giving Louis a small smile.

"No problem." Louis waves if off and Harry just nods at him, still with the small smile on his face.

"Look, I know you're avoiding me, after that day." Louis starts, moving a tiny bit closer to Harry, lowering his voice like he's scared someone would hear them. "I just want you to know there's nothing to be embarrassed about Harry. People can be strong for too long, it's okay to fall apart every now and then." Louis says with so much sincerely in his voice. "Please, just stop avoiding me. Nothing's changed, you're okay." Slowly, but not unnoticed, Louis hand has made its way up to Harry's bicep, and he slowly grips the muscle there.

Harry feels his heart skip, his breath catches in his throat at the feeling of Louis hand on him.

"I'm sorry, I was just. So embarrassed." Harry finally answers, whispering back to Louis. "I didn't want you to see any of that. I don't want anyone to see me anything besides strong. It's not what I want my daughter too see."

"It's okay Harry, babe it's okay." Louis assures, and Harry ignores the nickname - he doesn't want to think too much on the slip.

"Look, how was Staysha's birthday? Did you like it? Me and Niall spent the past week figuring out what to do." Louis changes the subject, dropping his hand as quickly as it was placed there.

Harry ignores the feeling he gets when the touch is gone. They're still standing close together though, so Harry will take what he can get.

"She loves it, it's been the best party she's ever had." Harry admits, a smile taking over his face. He can't help it, talking about his daughter never fails to make him happy, a smile always plasters itself on his face when he talks about her. "Thank you guys, so much, honestly. I didn't even know one of you guys knew who Liam or Zayn were." Harry admits, the smile still not leaving his face.

"Niall got a massage from Liam last week, he's a very friendly person as you may know by now. It didn't take much for him to become Liam's friend and invite him to this. I'm just as surprised that you know them." Louis grins, and Harry's a bit mesmerised by Louis smile.

It's gorgeouse and genuine, and it makes Louis look a bit more brighter then he already is.

"Zayn works with me." Harry speaks out, shrugging a shoulder.

"Small world." Louis admits, and Harry notices that he can see Louis leaning in a tiny bit.

"Yeah, small." Harry's voice drops to just above a whisper.

It feels like a magnetic pull towards Louis, Harry can feel himself leaning in as well, his eyes flickering down to Louis lips. It's weird, he doesn't really know this boy that much. He did have an attraction towards him when they first met, it became a distance feeling after the rudeness Louis showed towards him, but right here, right now, somethings twisting in Harry's gut and urging him to lean in closer to the boy.

Harry's eyes flick up to Louis, silently getting lost in how blue they really are. There's nothing hiding behind Louis eyes, he's like an open book in this point of time - and Harry likes that.

Harry is a hard to read type of guy, and Louis lays everything out for the world too see. Together, they fit in an oddly perfect way.

They've moved closer to on another, leaving only small inches separating both of them. All it would take is for one of them to turn their heads in the slightest angle and their lips would be meeting in the middle.

So that's exactly what Harry does, he turns his head to the left and then he closes the tiny gap left between them and presses his lips against Louis. His eyes shutter close, and one of his hands come up to grip at Louis waist.

It's nothing like he had read before, about how fireworks were to go off or butterflies in the stomach. It's nothing like that. Instead, it feels, nice. It feels like it's grounding Harry, like he was lost up high in his own mind and the kiss had brought him down to the ground - settled him down. When Louis presses his lips back against his, when they slowly move their lips together Harry feels like this is the right place to be.

For a minute, he forgets about his daughters party, about the pile of messy dishes waiting to be cleaned. He gets himself lost in the feeling of kissing Louis, he can feel one of Louis hands come up to cradle at Harry's neck as he slowly deepens the kiss. Nothing too exaggerating like tonguing at each other's throat, it's just a bit more passionate than a small kiss would be.

Despite the past couple of weeks, how things have been playing out, how much his life has flipped itself upsde down. Despite meeting all these new people, his daughters amazing party, despite the kiss he's sharing with Louis and how on cloud nine he is feeling. He hasn't felt this kind of genuine happiness in awhile.

So despite all of that, a part of him is still waiting for the major downfall to come.

Because, nothing this good happens to someone like Harry. He doesn't have the friends, or let alone someone to actually kiss. Harry doesn't get the happiness or the happy ending, and it makes him so scared, he's already got so much going on right now. He is so much more happier then how he used too be, and he's so scared for what's to come next.

He so scared for the fall, that he doesn't think he could ever recover from.

 


	7. Chapter Seven.

This is how it goes five weeks later after his daughters birthday;

When the small kiss that they had shared against the kitchen bench was over, Louis pulled himself away with a tiny smile on his face causing Harry's cheeks to heat up a tinted red colour. They didn't get to say anything, because before they both knew it - Niall and a couple of his friends had come into the kitchen laughing and Staysha had appeared behind Niall before she came up to Harry's leg, clinging onto it and telling him that she was tired.

So with sorry eyes directed towards Louis, he picked her up and said his goodbyes to Niall and his friends. He stopped to give Louis one more small look, silently discussing the kiss they just shared but Louis just waved a hand, saying his goodbye. Harry had left, after saying his finial thanks and goodbyes to Zayn, Liam, Margret and everyone else in the lounge room, before heading out to go back to their apartment.

For the first week - nothing had really changed for Harry, he still got up in the morning, did his usual routine, took Staysha to Margret's and went to work. He worked more with Zayn now then he used too do, which always made it worth going to work, then he would come home, pick his daughter up from Margret's and spend the rest of the night with her.

He would let his mind wonder to the kiss he shared with Louis only for a couple of times during the first week. Louis hadn't talked to him at all for that week, so Harry didn't really press more detail into the kiss.

The second week was the same, but this time Niall had offered to babysit Staysha if Margret had wanted too take a break and if Harry of course didn't mind. He went over it with Margret, told her that Niall would be more then happy to watch her, if she ever wanted time to herself. At first, she said she had no problem wathcing Staysha all the time, but after a deep thought she agreed to what Niall had offered. It soon had come in handy on the Thursday night, when Harry had too pick up a double shift and Margret had to go out. Niall swept in and watched his daughter for him.

By the third week, Harry had began to start questioning himself. Had he been a bad kisser? Is that why Louis hasn't shown his face around Harry? Did he do something to scare Louis off? Maybe Louis didn't even want to kiss him and Harry read the signs wrong causing him to go too far by leaning all the way in and being the one too start the kiss. But in saying all of that, Louis did kiss him back, so of course that had too mean something, right?

Coming into the fourth week, marking one month since the kiss, and Harry is going slightly insane. He literally just wants to see Louis, wants too know if they're on the same page or not. It's all he's been thinking about for the past three weeks - just Louis. Now it's slowly driving him mental - Louis will be his first thought in the morning when he wakes up and the last thought at night before he falls asleep. He starts to think of what Louis would look like in the morning when he first wakes up, what type of breakfast Louis likes too eat, what his favourite movies are, or if he prefers dogs or cats. Harry starts to think of the domestic things, and come Saturday night; Harry had come to the conclusion that he might have a majorly, slight crush on Louis.

In come the fifth week, Harry finally gets too see Louis again.

It's later afternoon on a Thursday, when Harry had just finished up his shift at the bar.

Zayn had left an hour early, due to some family business that he needed tootake care of. So when Harry had finished up his shift, and left for home it felt a tad bit odd to be walking home alone. He had grown accustomed to walking with Zayn, and having someone to talk too to pass the time.

Louis had been leaning against the same wall he was those many weeks ago, a smoke this time lit in his mouth and a hand on his phone, scrolling through something on there. When Harry had walked out of the pub door, Louis looked up, tucking his phone away and stubbing out his cigarette before pushing himself off the wall and walking over to towards Harry.

Harry nearly jumps out of shock when he feels someone tap at his shoulder, then when he turns around he feels his breath halt in his throat when he sees it was Louis who tapped him on the shoulderr.

"I wasn't ignoring or avoiding you Harry." Is the first thing Louis says, sincere written across his face.

"I just got myself so busy in trying to find myself a new job here, then when I took my siblings back home after Staysha's birthday, my mum insisted that I stayed home for a week with her. When I came back, I got swept up in so many job interviews and running errands for Niall. I didn't mean to go this long with out seeing you Harry, I really truly am sorry." Louis admits sighing. "It's why I was waiting outside here, I finished doing an errand for Niall and I knew you were at work so this is where I would be able catch you before you got home. I wanted to see you again."

Harrys heart skips a beat at the last thing Louis had said, a smile creeping up across his own face, and he watches as the same thing happens to Louis.

"It's okay." Harry says bringing a hand up to rest on Louis shoulder, rubbing his shoulder blade slowly.

"You don't need to apologies for being super busy, I understand that people get busy. I just thought, that maybe after that kiss I had done something wrong. Maybe I pushed you too far, since I was the one who initiated the kiss. Maybe you just didn't like it - or even me - and you just wanted to leave." Harry makes known, dropping his hand from Louis shoulder.

"Heavens no Harry, you did not push me too far. If I hadn't of wanted it, I would've made that known! But do remeber, I kissed you back as well Harry, I definietly wanted it." Louis avows. "So, no, don't think like that. The kiss was amazing, truly, you did absolutely nothing wrong." Louis continues biting down on his lower lip.

"It was?" Harry doubts, shaking his head.

"It was Harry, stop, doubting yourself. It makes me feel sad." Louis declares. "You're an amazing person, why can't you see that?"

"Louis, can we just.. I don't want to talk about this type of stuff in a public place." Harry drops his voice, looking around.

"That's okay, we'll go back to yours and you tell me what you want to tell me? I just want to know more about you, you're this insecure mess of a person and I just want to know why - understand more onto why you're like this."

-/

The walk back to Harry's apartment was quiet but not uncomfortable. Harry still got the side eyed from people, though if Louis ever saw it he would give the complete stranger the finger as they walked passed.

Harry, kind of admired that about Louis.

Louis was confident in himself, he didn't give a shit about what people had to think about him, he never cared for if he insulted or hurt someone, if they had hurt someone Louis was friends with. It was admirable, and Harry wishes a little bit he could be as confident as Louis definietly is.

When they reach his apartment, Harry offeres to make Louis a cup of tea which he accepts, before he puts some random show on the TV, just for background noise. He did stop into Margret's before the got inside, asking her if she could look after Staysha for a tiny bit longer, of course she didn't mind, she never did and Harry thanked her before he went back to his apartment.

So now, Louis was sitting on the couch a leg folded under his bottom, his body twisted to face Harry, and Harry had moved to the end of the couch, pushing his back up against the rest and bringing his knees up to his chest as he stared at Louis. Louis took a tentive sip of his tea, before putting the cup down on the coffee table and looking back at Harry.

"Tell me about you, Harry." Louis says leaning an elbow on the top of the couch, resting his cheek against it.

Harry doesn't know why he already feels so comfortable in talking to Louis, into trusting him this easily. Something in his mind is telling him that Louis won't judge him for anything he says or does, that he can spill his deepest darkest secrets and Louis will still give him the look of adoration. So, he does what Louis wants, and he speaks to him, for the first time in awhile, Harry doesn't hold back on anything. Strips himself bare, for Louis too see.

He tells Louis how young he had been when he first met Healy Chers, how young he was when he had Staysha. He tells Louis about how Healy had left him with the kid, how Harry's life had done a complete one eighty on him, but for the better of course, it was just all of his fuure plans for law school had been thrown out the window. Since he was so young, and already a father, he didn't have time to stufy for it anymore, his daughter needed too come first. He tells Louis how he had always been an outcast in growing up, how he never even had a dad, tells him how his sister and mother was all he really had. He speaks about how his sister Gemma left one day, and never came home, then he tells Louis how it's nearly been four years since he had last talked to his own mother. He can't stop his own tears that fall when he mentios his mum. He told Louis how his mum had been everything to him, the woman he idolised - loved so much with his own heart gand how much it had shattered him that after she helped him get an apartment for him and Staysha that she never contacted him again.

Two hours have passed and Harry has pretty much confessed everything their is too know to Louis, he told him about his doubts in himself on how he doesn't think he's fit enough to raise his own daughter. He tells him that no matter how strong he tries to make himself feel, every nasty word or look he gets from strangers plays on him and ends up getting under his skin. He tells him that he's been alone for so long, shy away from any relationships that he thinks he'll never be good enough for really anyone. He tells about how much it sucks, because he knows he wants another parental figure in his daughters life - he just doesn't want to be a disappointment to her for when she grows up with only him as a father and she ends up despising who he is.

The thing that Harry didn't expect too happen, was for Louis to listen to everything Harry had been saying. He sat there, slowly moving closer as Harry got more deep and emotional, he listened to every single word that came out of Harry's mouth. Louis did ask small questions throughout the whole talk, just genuine ones like what his mothers name was, if he had any friends at all besides the lads, just small simple questions. He also threw out the random comments here and there when Harry had been doubting himself as a father, saying that it was a load of bullshit, that he was a great, better yet, and amazing dad. So by the end, when Harry had finished and got everything off his chest, Louis had bitten his lip hard, holding back the sadness that wanted to desperatly escape.

He knew Harry was insecure, and had his doubts - people have them all the time. He just didn't know how deep it actually ran for Harry. He saw a side of Harry that he hadn't ever seen before, this was nothing like the small breakdown he had that one time. This was a new side to Harry, and Louis still stuck by his first thought of helping this boy out. He wants to make him better, feel more better in himself.

He already knew the first step that he was going to do too help Harry. But before he was too do that, he had something else that he wanted to do first.

Harry was wiping at his eyes after his confession, and Louis had moved up towards Harry, knocking his legs down and apart before crawling in between the space there. He brought his own knees up to Harry's side, bracketing his hips, before moving his hands to cup Harry's jaw. His eyes meet Harry's saddened glossy green ones, and he doesn't even hesitate to lean down and connect their lips together in a bruising kiss.

Louis isn't really sure on why he had the overpowering need to kiss Harry, he felt the familiar tug in his chest that he felt in the kitchen, pulling him towards Harry in a need to just kiss the man.

Harry had been surprised at first, definitely not expecting something like this to happe at all. Except, he doesn't protest or push Louis away. Instead, Harry lets his eyes slip close and let his hands find their own way to Louis hair. He grips his hair hard as the kiss gets deepened. It's nothing like the one they shared in the kitchen, not so soft and timid this time around. This one has become more rough and dominanted, like Louis is trying to prove a point to him by kissing Harry feverishly. Harry has absolutely no problem with this though, so he brings his own legs up barricading Louis against him.

Louis tongue traces across Harry bottom lip, and Harry sighs into Louis mouth as he opens it, welcoming Louis tongue. It wasn't anything over exaggerating, Louis tongue traced and tasted Harry's mouth, slowly brushing over his own. He wasn't trying to force his tongue down Harry's throat or anything like that, which caused Harry too keen at it, tightening his grip in Louis hair more.

It probably only lasted a minute or so more, before Louis was pulling away, panting a tiny bit. He rests his forehead against Harry's, and Harry's fingers slip out of Louis hair, to move down towards his waist, where he grips him gently and looks into Louis eyes.

It's silent, between the both. All that is heard is their laboured breathing as they look into each other's eyes.

This is the second time him and Louis have kissed, but this time no one was here to distract them, no one to catch them in the act, and it even lasted longer than their last one. Harry feels seated, very relaxed, something about Louis kiss brings Harry to a calm sort of state of mind.

"I really, like you." Louis is the first to break the silence, his voice soft and sweet.

"I like you too." Harry speaks softly, and it's the complete truth.

Louis is all he has been thinking about, it's always been just Louis. He still doesn't even know that much about the smaller lad, but he's still intrigued by him, he wants to desperately know about him more, wants to know his past and what goes on through his mind. At first, Harry didn't really feel any kind of emotional attraction towards Louis, but that was due to the fact that he was still wrapped up in the thought of Niall, though after that he started thinking more onto Louis, especially more so after their first shared kiss. Something was there, Harry felt something towards Louis, and, he's so certain that Louis feels the exact same way.

"I would like to get to know more about you next time, Louis." Harry admits, a tiny smile on his face.

Louis just grins, giving a small nod before closing the gap in between them for another kiss.

Soon, Harry will have to stop this kiss to go get his daughter since it's getting late. Louis will need to go back to his own apartment for dinner - but right now with them interlocked and mouths working over one another, soon can wait a tiny bit longer.

And, for the first time in awhile, the voice in his head telling him not to get his hopes up too far, that something bad is going to happen, Harry just ignores it.

He grips tighter onto Louis waist, bitting the boys lower lip, and enjoys the feeling of this momentg he is in right now.


	8. Chapter Eight.

They never lable what they are, Harry never asks Louis what they could be - and Louis never asks Harry either. But subconsciously they both know that they are some sort of item together, no offical lable is used, but they know they are something.

They do share small kisses every time they hang out, and soon enough Harry has noticed that Louis now has found himself over more at Harry's place than he is at his own. Sometimes he'll even take over for looking after Staysha every now and then due to the kindness of his heart. Harry will melt every time he comes home from work to see Louis and his daughter getting along so well, it almost feels like they're a family too him.

Harry keeps those types of thoughts to himself though, he would never voice actually thinking they could be a family out loud towards Louis. That would be asking for way too much, and Harry has no thought in mind on wanting to ruin what they have going on now.

Louis is simply amazing, Harry has come to learn - he had been nothing like their very first encounter - so he now believes him when Louis had said he was having a bad day on their unfourtante meeting. Louis had come to absolutely adore Staysha; he loves playing with her hair, doing any type of style that she likes and having these pretend tea dates with her and her stuffed teddies. Harry comes to the realisation that Louis personality is amazing.

He learnt that Louis grew up in a large family, with a lot of younger siblings. So he learnt that Louis is very family oriented, and it can show in the way he handles Staysha - it's like he has, another father instinct in a way to look after Staysha.

Harry just really likes Louis.

Sometimes, when he comes home from work Louis will have Staysha asleep and dinner would be made up for them. It will make everything feel so domestic, so domestic that Harry will have to refrain from pushing Louis up against any available surface and taking right there and then as some sign of his gratitude.

There is no way Harry would actually ever do that to Louis. He knows Louis doesn't want that, he has shown no interest towards actually wanting to have sex with Harry, he always just seems happy enough with just kissing. Harry doesn't mind kissing Louis one bit, he enjoys it a lot and always looks forward to it. In saying all of this thouhg, he himself probably could never have sex with Louis, for the sheer fact the he's never really even done anything with a guy.

He's only ever been with Healy in the romantic and sexual way, and that how it was. He's never had a single sexual relation with a male before, so even if there was some chance that it ever happened between him and Louis, he wouldn't even know what he's meant too do.

But non of that matters at this point in time, since it's never even going to happen. They weren't even dating anyway.

It's just another day when Harry has come home from work, Staysha is sleeping soundly in Harry's bed while Louis is sitting at the kitchen table eating the dinner he had made for both of them, probably being too hungry to actually wait for Harry to be home already. Harry just smiles at that thought, at this moment in time, it kind of feels like Louis is living with him.

The only indication that Louis doesn't actually live with him, is that he will never stay the night, he will always go back to his apartment across from Harry.

"Hey." Harry greets softly, toeing his shoes off at his door - Louis looks up from his plate, smiling at Harry.

"Hey, I'm sorry that I started too eat. I just got really hungry, Staysha had tired me out today. She's just like her Dad, very amused with everything and very adorable." Louis smirks, taking another bite of the chicken that he had made. "Your dinner is in the microwave though, but go have a shower first before you eat this." Louis waves towards the bathroom and Harry just grins shaking his head as he heads into the bathroom.

He quickly showers, the shower is a loud one and he doesn't really want to wake his daughter up from it. He knows that if she wakes up now, she won't be getting back to sleep anytime soon and Harry knows that he would really like to sleep at some point tonight. So he quickly scrubs the day away, washes his hair and does his teeth before he gets out and towels himself dry. He wraps the towel around his waist before sneaking into his room and changing into dry clothes. He tugs on a pair of sweat pants and forgoes a shirt before he's sneaking back out of his room.

He hangs the towel back up in the bathroom before he makes his way to the kitchen to get his dinner out of the microwave. It looks like some chicken that's been stuffed with mozzarella cheese and wrapped in parma ham, which just makes Harry smile before going to sit down to eat. Louis is still sitting at the table, opposite of Harry, but his plate is now gone and been replaced with a cup of tea.

Another thing Harry had learned is Louis really loves his tea.

"How was work?" Louis questions, bringing his cup up too his mouth.

"It was good." Harry says around a mouthful of food. "Worked with Zayn and a couple of other guys. Zayn had been very excited because Liam's massages were getting more noticed by people. So they're getting more money in from it, and Zayn's been real happy about it. Both getting some more money and watching Liam's career grow." Harry laughs shaking his head.

"They're seem like a pretty cute couple, Zayn and Liam. I've hung out with them a couple of times, Niall tends to invite his friends over every now and then or go and see them. So when I can, I tend to join him in seeing his friends." Harry grins licking his lips, while Louis talks.

"Have you got any friends around here yet Louis? Also, how is the job hunting going?" Harry's turn to talk.

"Well, I have Niall, Zayn, Liam and you of course. I met a lovely girl called Bebe down at the flower shop, she was really nice. But, so far that's about it." Louis shrugs. "I did get a call back for a job at the local supermarket we have here, I have a job interview with them in a couple of days. So I'm really happy about that." Louis sighs, a small smile on his face.

"That's great!" Harry says, finally finishing off his dinner. "Thank you for dinner, it tasted amazing, you're just amazing." Harry says getting up before he walks over to Louis, he leans down to give him a peck on Louis lips before he heads into the kitchen to wash his plate.

Harry ignores how much this dynamic screams relationship too him, as he scrubs the plate clean.

When it's squeeky clean, and placed in the rack to dry - Harry moves into the lounge room where Louis sprawled out on the couch, Harry grins tucking himself up against Louis side, resting his head on Louis chest. Louis hums happily, bringing a hand down to wrap around Harry's arm as his thumb rubs over his skin.

"So, tell me more about you Louis Tomlinson." Harry finally got his last name out of him.

It happened last week after tickling Louis to the point where he couldn't breathe and Harry had said that he would let him go if he gave up his last name, which he did of course - they ended up spending the rest of the day just making out.

"Well, what do you want to know Harry?" Louis hums.

"Everything." Harry answers.

"Well, I was born and raised in Doncaster, I had met Niall when I was just ten. He transferred to my school from Ireland at the age of nine. Even through all of the years he still managed to keep his Irish accent. I do admire that." Louis snorts. "I have six younger siblings, a loving mother and step-dad. I was raised a gentleman, and nothing extremly bad ever really happened to me. I came too the conclusion that I was gay when I was thirteen. I dated this girl when I was twelve, and I didn't really like kissing her that much. I actually enjoyed kissing her brother more." He lets a crack of laugh out at that, and Harry follows suit. "I lost my virginity in the back of an old rusty pick up truck when I was seventeen to a guy I didn't even know the name of. It was horrible, worst sex I ever had." Louis sighs, like he's remembering the events. "I've had only a handful of relationships, nothing was ever serious though. I'm twenty four now, since I was twenty one me and Niall had always wanted to move out here, into the city. It was much more better than the deserted place we oringally lived at. So we moved here, and then I met you." Louis looks down to Harry, bringing a hand up to twist his fingers in Harry's hair.

"My life story is pretty boring, I know that, but I can tell you some facts about me. Like, I really love dogs, especially those big ones. I love mixing my cereal for breakfast, my favourite colour is red, and my favourite movie is the classic Grease. I've always wanted a family as well, I always wanted to meet someone, fall in love and have all of that, you know?" Louis undoubtedly states.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I thought I was going to have all of that with Healy back in the day. But look how that played out." The laugh that escapes Harry's mouth is horribly sarcastic. "Here I am, a single father." Harry exhales, eyeing down the couch cushions they were laying across.

"Do you miss your mum?" Louis quickly changes the subject.

"I do." Harry conceded. "I miss her every single day, it really does hurt. I only just want to know why she stopped the contact with me, what did I do so wrong to make her turn away from me? I love her so much, she's the only women I truly loved, she's my only mum and she didn't want me anymore." Harry croaks out, turning his head into Louis chest and squeezing his eyes closed. He's crying, he knows he is, he's twenty one years old and still cries over his mother.

He just wants to know why she left him in the cold.

"I'm so deeply sorry Harry." Louis moves to wrap both his hands around Harry, hugging him tightly into his chest.

They don't say anything after that as Harry cries into his chest, it stays like that for a couple more minutes before sleep eventually overpowers Harry and he's knocked out cold on Louis chest.

It's the first time Louis stays the night.

-/

"Daddy! Daddy! Wake up!" Harry groans burying his face further into the chest he's laying on.

His eyes snap open when he realise he's actually laying on a person, and not his bed. His heart rate picks up when he looks up to see Louis. The man was already awake, staring back down at Harry with a fond smile on his face, Harry can feel fingers that don't belong to his daughter, running through his hair. He can't help it when he leans up to kiss Louis, ignoring the morning breath they both share.

"Ew! Daddy gross!" He hears Staysha giggle before Harry pulls away grinning, completely forgetting she was even there. He untangles himself from Louis, and they both sit up on the couch.

Staysha crawls up onto Harry's lap not missing a heart beat and cuddles into his chest.

"You didn't sleep in bed last night." She says pouting and Harry frowns, his arms tightening around her small waist.

"I'm sorry, I fell asleep on Louis." Harry laughs and Staysha laughs as well just for the sheer fact that her dad is laughing.

"It's okay." She says leaning up to kiss Harry's nose. "But you will sleep in the bed tonight?" She asks, tilting her head a tiny bit to the left as she looks at Harry with wide eyes.

"Of course!" Harry promises.

"Yay! Now I want breakfast! Come on Daddy, and Lou!" She says getting off Harry's lap and scrambling into the kitchen.

"God, she's so breath takingly gorgeous Harry. Healy really did miss out on this one. She's so beautiful Harry, honestly - and so cute." Louis says moving over to Harry's side resting his head against Harry's shoulder. "You working today?" Louis quips up.

"No, not today." Harry whispers down to him.

"Good, I wanted to spend the day with you and Staysha." Louis smiles, before he turns his head to kiss Harry's shoulder.

Harry ignores the butterflies errupting in his stomach.

-/

They end up going into town for the day, and surprisingly it had turned out really nice.

They had breakfast together, and Louis only went back to his apartment once and that was to shower and change while Harry and Staysha did the same. Harry dressed his daughter into a pair of white jeans and a flower shirt, before he tied her hair up into a pony tail.

When Harry had been looking at clothes to wear for himself, a wave of something odd washed over him as he picked out his usual gothic style of clothes , so instead, he went to the very back of his closest and pulled out the only pair of plain skinny jeans that he owns, he tugs them on before he grabbed simple pattern T-shirt. It wasn't that far different from his usual clothes, but it's an outfit he never would've thought to put together before. He doesn't know what exactly came over him - and instead of even putting his hoops in his lips, he left them for just studs, and changed the hoop in his nose to a small stud as well. He did leave his eyebrow piercing alone though.

He met up with Louis outside their apartments, and he managed to not miss the double take look Louis did looking at Harry, and the small whisper Louis made that said he looked really good.

Though Louis could speak for himself, he had on a pair of tight blue jeans and a striped black and white shirt, which had hugged his curves amazingly. He was simply gorgeous, though Louis could pull off just about anything anyway.

Harry's sure Louis could wear a garbage bag and still look breath taken.

They had walked around the town for a little bit, stopping to buy random nick knacks on the way. Louis did have to refrain himself from going and punching a couple of people who looked at Harry the wrong way, but Harry hadn't of taken any notice to it, so Louis didn't act on it. Instead he just glared at the people before wrapping an arm around Harry's and sneaking his fingers down to lace with Harry's. Harry lets a surprised noise out at Louis inituating holding his hand, but he doesn't protest one slightest bit and just instead squeezes his fingers back.

When lunchtime comes by they go to the park where a small ice cream truck has been parked, they all end up having ice cream for lunch. Staysha seems to be the first to finish hers off before she's running over to the playground that was there to start playing on it. Harry and Louis stood by the side to watch her as they ate their own ice creams.

"You have some ice cream on your nose." Louis giggles out when he turns to look at Harry.

Harry's eyebrow raises before he goes crossed eyed trying to see the ice cream Louis was going on about. It ends with Louis laughing hard before he places a hand on Harry's shoulder and leans up to quickly lick at Harry's nose, taking the ice cream off with him.

Harry grins, his cheeks flaring red and when Louis stands back down laughing, Harry wraps an arm around Louis waist pulling him into his side.

"You're definitely something different, Louis." Harry says taking a bite out of his ice cream.

"I could definitely say the same for you too Harold." Louis knocks his hip against Harry's.

By the time night has rolled around, they make their way back to their apartments, Louis and Harry have continued to hold hands while Harry carries Staysha in his spare arm, she ended up falling asleep against his shoulder and Harry has a content smile on his face at it. He has never really felt this type of happiness before, he can only hope it never leaves.

When they're back at the apartments and Staysha has been tucked into bed, Louis announces that he really needs to get back to his apartment before Niall convinces himself that he thinks he's completely losing his bestfriend.

Harry pins Louis against his door before he can leave, snogging him breathless before he lets him go back to his apartment.

They may not have a label on what they actually are, and Harry is kind of scared that if he mentions something to Louis about it, he could ruin everything that they have. The thing is though, Harry can feel himself falling slowly for Louis, so he really doesn't want to ruin what they have going on. What they share doesn't make just him happy, but he can see the way that Staysha gets excited when he comes over, he can see how much she likes him as well. So Harry knows he can't say anything about what they have, in fear of losing what they are, not only for himself because he couldn't make his daughter upset like that as well.

It was hard enough trying to explain to her why her mum left, and he doesn't want to scare Louis away, then try to explain to her why he left as well.

So, for now, Harry doesn't question anything at all as he turns everything off in the apartment before he makes his way into his bedroom, strips down into his boxers and just gets into bed with his daughter, he pulls her into his chest and he drifts off to the thought of Louis being an official part of their family.


	9. Chapter Nine.

It ends up dawning in on Harry, that ever since Staysha had turned four, she hadn't needed her bottle anymore.

It's not like Harry is mad or anything along those lines like that, just because she isn't having it anymore. It's just, it's kind of sad too him in a way, he's watching his little girl grow up right in front of his eyes, and he never wanted that to happen, he only ever wants her to stay little and innocent forever.

So when he realises that Staysha isn't having the bottle anymore, a wave of sadness washes over him as he cleans it throughly one last time, then puts in the far back of the pantry. Call him crazy or weird, but Harry knows he will never throw the bottle out, it was something his mum got for her, and it's one of the only small reminders he has of her.

It's been four days since him, Louis and Staysha went out to town for the day, and Harry has worked all of those days since then. He did visit Niall yesterday afternoon after work, for the reason of he hasn't seen much of the boy lately and he felt really bad about it. So he called in for a visit and he doesn't regret it at all, they clowned around playing on Niall's X-Box and drinking a couple of beers together. Louis hadn't been around though, and Harry didn't want to sound clingy in a way to ask Niall where he was at. So he had just shrugged it off as he continued to mess around for a bit longer with Niall.

It had bee a fun afternoon for him, it came to an end though when Harry had to leave to get his daughter and take her home.

Now it's Saturday, and Harry is putting away every single baby toy Staysha had that she doesn't use anymore.

It was a hard thing for him too do, sadness clogged his chest at every toy, and a tear at his heart stung every time he put something away. He doesn't want his daughter to grow up, no one ever does, the world is a cruel and horrible place - somewhere he doesn't want his daughter to ever be.

She's in the lounge room playing with the teddy Liam and Zayn got her for her birthday, while Shrek 2 is playing on the T.V. Harry looks at her from the kitchen, he lets a sad smile take over his face. She's so insanely precious, and Harry loves her so much, his heart is fills with adoration every time he looks at her.

Harry shakes his head, grabbing a lost hair tie off the bench of hers and placing it on his wrist before he goes back to what he was doing. He has a small moving box on the bench that he's named 'Staysha's baby things.' All of her baby clothes and toys are being put in it along with everything else she doesn't use or need anymore.

There's a knock at his door, which causes Harry to raise both of his eyebrows at the sound, he quickly finishes off what he is doing and closing the box, he opens up one of the pantry cupboards and slips the box in their, before knocking it shut with his knee and walking over to the door. It takes him a minute to undo the lock and pull the door open.

Niall's standing on the other side of the door, with a large smile on his face, dressed in a nice fitted black jeans and button up poker dot shirt.

"Hey Niall." Harry greets, a warm smile on his face.

"Hey Harry! I just wanted to stop by and say hi and to let you know something." Niall says, the smile still on his face.

"Hm? What's that?" Harry questions, his left eyebrow raises as he looks at Niall.

"I'm going away on a business trip, so I thought I'd let you know I won't be back for a couple of weeks. So, I can't look after Staysha until I'm back, that's okay yeah?" Niall asks biting his lower lip.

"No that's fine, honestly." Harry reassures with a nod. "What do you do for work, may I ask?" he tacks on.

Harry has been curious into what Niall does for a living, he has seen briefcases and fancy suits in Niall's cupboard, and he even seen soom expensive champagne in their small liquor cupboard once. So, he knows that Niall isn't that broke by any means.

"Oh." Niall seems surprised by the question, his eyes widen a tiny bit, before he shrugs. "I'm on me way to be running a CEO." Niall grins proudly of himself. "My dad owns a large company in Ireland, and he has business basically all over the world. I got a job at one here, another reason to why I moved here, so I'm on my way to running that company." Niall explains enthusiastically, his hands moving a bit as he tells Harry. It was obviously a subject he liked talking about, and had been very proud of.

"Oh wow, that's amazing." Harry says astonished.

He never would've thought that Niall would be doing something like that, something so, well amazing honestly. He knows CEO's get paid lots of money, and the fact that Niall's dad runs the whole company means Niall never would've been shy of a penny. In a way, Harry is a tiny bit upset with it, because Niall has never once had the need to struggle while it took three years for Harry himself to be able to only just financially support him and his daughter. Though on the other hand he's over the moon happy for Niall, he can tell the boy would've worked hard for his spot and not just lent off his dad to get a one way ticket to the top.

If that was case, Harry is sure Niall would already have it and most likely not be living here anymore.

"Louis been kind of, like my personal assistant. Sometimes he'll run around and do errands for me when I'm in a meeting or something. He's a good friend like that, though he usually hates when I pay him for it, since he says he does it out of his kindness, but I always do pay him anyway. The boy really deserves it." Niall expounds.

"That's pretty amazing, what's this business trip for?" Harry hums, leaning against his door, he glances over his shoulder to check on Staysha and she's still in the lounge room playing, so he smiles towards her before looking back towards Niall.

"Well, it's like a big business meeting at my Dad's HQ, so it's not really a fun business trip. I'm leaving today so that's why I wanted to come and say a well goodbye for now, only for just a little bit though. I'll be coming back in a couple of weeks." Niall imparts.

"Ah, that's cool. So I guess I'll see you in a couple of weeks then you big CEO." Harry nods towards Niall.

"Not CEO yet! But yes!." Niall laughs before he's opening his arms for a hug.

Harry laughs along shaking his head, before he leans in to hug Niall tightly.

"Oh, I also don't know if you know this already or not, but Louis has been gone for a bit too. He left a couple of days ago to go an do something. All he said to me was, 'I need to go out of town for a couple of days to do something, but I will be back.'" Niall intimidates the best way he can of Louis, raising his eyebrows and popping his hip out. "And I wasn't sure if you know on if he told you or not so I thought I would tell you now, just incase." Niall shrugs. "But I have to go now, or I'll be late for my flight! Bye Harry, I'll see you very soon!" Niall calls out as he starts to fast walk down the hallway.

Harry gives out a weak goodbye, before he closes his front door, confusion setting in.

Louis hadn't of told him he was going anywhere, and he definitely didn't even mention anything to him about leaving when they were hanging out together. Not even a text had been sent as well. Harry's brows nit together, he bites his lower lip trying to figure out why Louis had to leave town so suddenly for a bit. Maybe, he had something go wrong with his family and he was needed urgently? Or maybe he just wanted to get away from Harry? Was Harry being too suffocating with everything towards Louis with his affection or something like that too drive him away?

Harry's bottom lip trembles at the thought, but he shakes his head hard - refuses to cry over something like this, he's sure Louis has a good reason to why he needed to leave town so suddenly.

He makes his way back into the lounge room where Staysha is, and Harry can tell that she's a bit tired - she's still playing with the teddy but she's letting small yawns out as she does, and also rubbing at her eyes. So Harry moves towards her, crouches down in front of his daughter with a soft smile on his face.

"Hey bub." Harry whispers to her, she looks up from what she was doing and smiles brightly towards Harry. "Did you want to take a nap?" She nods her head, another yawn escaping and Harry just smiles before he stands up and picks her up. She still has he teddy clutched in one hand as Harry makes his way to the bedroom.

"Did you want your bottle?" Harry tries, a hopeful hint in his voice.

Staysha just shakes her head no, and Harry tries to hold back the sad sigh that wants to come out.

-/

**H:** _**Niall came by, said u were out of town. U ok?** _

Harry's sitting in the living room couch while Staysha is still soundly asleep in their room. She fell asleep just as soon as Harry laid her down on the bed. He had cuddled her into his chest for a bit before he realised that he just couldn't get to sleep himself. He ended up getting restless and just getting himself out of bed. He left her door wide open though, and he put the aircon on in the room to cool it down a bit so she doesn't get too hot.

He had been dying to text Louis ever since Niall told him that he left, but he only just now got the actual chance to text him, so he gnaws on his bottom lip as he waits for Louis to reply.

He see's his message go from 'delivered' to 'read' and then sees the three dots pop up, and Harry bites his lower lip harder as he waits for the reply.

**L:** _**I'm good yeh, dnt believe anything he says, if he said I was avoiding u or something like that he's full of shit! I jst had some stuff 2 do :)** _

A wave of relief washes over Harry when he reads Louis text, he smiles softly to himself as he types out a reply.

**H:** _**Ok good, just u didn't tell me u were leaving at all so it was a shock when Niall said u were gone. But all is good now to knowing ur ok now :D** _

**L:** _**yeah, sorry 'bout just leaving... It was kinda last minute something I had 2 do** _

**H:** _**It's ok honestly, what r u doing if u don't mind me asking?** _

**L:** _**now that Harold, is a secret** _

**H:** _**My name isn't Harold.** _

**L:** _**shhhhh.... So how r u? I'm missing u btw** _

Harry's heart rate picks up at Louis mentioning that he misses him, that's just because Harry misses him too - so much.

**H:** _**I'm good, Staysha's having a nap haha what bout u? And I miss u 2 :)** _

**L:** _**a nap, at 6pm? Harold, she's going to b awake all night now... But I am also good, now that ur texting me ;)** _

**H:** _**She probably won't wake up, she was pretty tired.** _

Harry sends that text, before he bites his lower lip looking at the winking emoji Louis had sent, it doesn't have to mean anything sexual, does it? It could of just been a joke towards him. Harry gnaws at his bottom lip, before he ends up just saying 'fuck it' to himself and the wind before he sends out another text to Louis before he could reply.

**H: _oh yeah? What are u doing atm? ;)_**

Harry feels his cheeks heat up red at the sound of that text he just sent, he sounds so much like a teenage boy again. It's kind of embarrassing.

**L: _:)* I meant to send a smiley face Harry omg_**

Harry's heart drops at Louis response, he's now just gone way too far. Louis doesn't like him like that, what was he even thinking?

**L:** _**but... I'm currently laying down on a friends couch.. Thinking about u.. ;)** _

Okay, so maybe they both are on the same page with this.

Harry bites his lower lip again, his eyes nervously looking around the place, paranoid that somethings going to happen. He isn't sure what, but he's never really actually sexted someone before, so he's kind of anxious about this.

**H: _What're you thinking about?_**

**L: _u being here with me...._**

**H: _Anything else?_**

Harry really hopes he isn't pushing too hard on this, if Louis stops replying Harry knows he's going to be so embarrassed.

**L:** _**well, if u must know.. I'm thinking of u here with me, or me there with u, and ur on top of me, ur hands are on my hips and ur kissing me really hard** _

Harry swallows and looks around the apartment once again, his daughter hasn't woken up yet, he can't hear her. And his front door is locked, so Harry thinks he's okay to continue this.

**H:** _**That's hot.. I would love to do that to u. Have u underneath me, moaning against my mouth like when we make out** _

Someone need to shoot him, he cringes so hard at his own text. He has no idea how to exactly sext someone, this is the most embarrassing thing he's ever done. Even though it's stange and weird his cock still stirs in his pants from it.

**L:** _**fuck, I want u on top of me now Harry fuck. Every time we kiss or make out I just want u to wreck me. Ur so hot, fuck, I'm thinking of u holding my wrist down and grinding against me rn** _

Harry can't help the small whimper that escapes his mouth. He's been thinking about this for a bit now, having sex with Louis, but he had always been too nervous to actually do something about it.

He had watched gay porn a couple nights ago when his daughter was sleeping, he sat in the lounge room too watch it in order to get a visual on what exactly gay sex was. It was hot, there had been no lie too that, watching the two guys just going at it, Harry hgad even tried to finger himself, just to see if that was what he liked. But, as soon as his fingers went anywhere near his arse, he felt very uncomfortable and tense so when he tried to push one in his whole body seized up, and he quickly removed his hand. It's how he found out he doesn't actually like anything near or going up his arse, so he's, a top then? He thinks that's what it's called.

So now he's guessing Louis could be a bottom? By the way his texts are going, Harry is actually really hoping Louis is one. He isn't quite sure on how they would work if Louis was the one fucking him, Harry just, he just couldn't do that.

**H:** _**God that's so hot Louis, I'm getting so hard just thinking bout that. Want to pin u down and wreck u, would u like that? Be pined, maybe tied up and wrecked?** _

**L:** _**Jesus Harold, I'm palming myself rn. God ur so hot, want u 2 fuck me so bad Harry. God, r u touching yourself now?** _

Harry moans low in his throat, making sure not to be too loud incase his daughter might wake up. He could not handle that type of situation if his daughter woke up and came out here.

He trails his left hand down his chest slowly, and he places his legs up on the coffee table in front of him, before he reaches his waist and quickly undoes the buttons to his jeans. Harry wriggles around a bit, pulling his pants down past his bum so he's got his briefs out and his cock is hard already, Harry can see the outline of it through his briefs. He bites his bottom lip, before he puts his left hand on the base of his cock outside of his pants and quickly pulls up his camera app.

Harry takes a snap of his hand holding his dick, nice and hard, still covered by the briefs and he keeps biting his lower lip as he goes back into his text messages with Louis and sends it off to him, hoping he didn't go too far with this.

He's never taken a dick pic before, so he has no idea if this was crossing a line in anyway with Louis.

It takes a couple of minutes for Louis to reply to him, and when he does Harry nearly comes untouched in his pants from it. It's a photo image that he recieves and when he opens it, what he's met with, can only be described as a down right beautiful dirty sight.

Louis has got his knees up and spread, so he's angled the camera low, making Harry be able to see his balls and cock flat against his stomach, Harry can make out two fingers working in his arse, and Harry quickly spits in his palm while looking at the photo, before he shoves his hand down his briefs gripping his cock, he starts to move his hand up and down. Jerking himself off as he types out a shaky message to Louis.

**H:** _**fuck Louis! That's so hot, ur so hot, fuck I'm going to cum** _

He sends the text, before he looks back at the photo, the way Louis arse is taking his two fingers is so hot, how flushed and red his cock looks, how his balls had tightened up. Harry's never sucked cock, or done anything like that before, but he knows he really wants to get his mouth onto Louis now.

**L:** _**wishing u were fucking me, want ur cock so bad.. Want it inside me, filling me up, want u to come inside me, wanna feel u** _

Harry can't help it, his hand speeds up, and he doesn't even remember the last time he actually had a proper wank, so he bites his bottom lip as he moans and he twists his wrist - before he even knows it, he's coming and spilling into his briefs as his body starts to shake. He's ashamed with how fast he came, but he couldn't help it nor care less, it was all overwhelming and Harry has never been this turned on before.

**H:** _**I just came so hard fuck that was hot** _

Harry adds a photo to the message, he takes a photo of his jizz filled briefs and sends it off to Louis.

Louis replies five minutes later with a photo of his own stomach covered in cum, and Harry groans at it, his first instinct is to lick the cum off Louis chest and Harry whines. His cock is way too sensitive to get hard again, so he ignores it and locks his phone.

He isn't sure what he should say to Louis after that, so he doesn't do anything and stands himself up, heads towards his bathroom to have a shower to wash himself clean.

When he has a shower and is clean once again, he checks in on his daughter to see she's still sound asleep, and he sighs happily before getting his phone again. He sends a simple "wish u were here" to Louis after staring at the conversation for five minutes, and locks his phone again before putting it on charge and hoping into bed.

Maybe, Louis does like him more than a friend?

Or was this, just a one time thing?

Harry just really hopes its the first option.


	10. Chapter Ten.

 

**L:** _**I'm so sorry about last night, I may of had one too many drinks. Please don't let this make things awkward between us. We can just forget about it, if it makes you feel better.** _

It's a text Harry never thought he would ever have too read, he himself didn't want last night to be a mistake for Louis. Though going by the words Louis had just sent, along with the proper grammar, Harry can tell that Louis was ashamed by what they ended up doing. And that, makes Harry feel like shit, maybe he should never of initiated what they did last night.

The text kind of set Harry in a weird type of mood for the day, he had dropped Staysha off at Margret's before heading to work, still with the weird feeling in his gut.

See, Harry likes Louis a lot. He had been nothing but amazing to Harry, looking after Staysha, making dinners, and really just acting like a part of the family already. So Harry couldn't help it, that he took to liking Louis so much, so quickly. Now he's scared that he liked him too much, and Louis didn't even like him that much back. The text message keeps playing over and over in his head, and when he walks into work it's like Zayn can sense that something is up with Harry.

Harry clocks in, grabs his towel, and starts to wipe down one of the benches before he get glasses ready for their morning rush - when Zayn walks over to him. His own towel hanging over his shoulder, and he leans his hip against the bar table crossing his arms over his chest.

"What's up Harry?" Zayn asks, looking at Harry with a soft expression.

Harry isn't really sure on what exactly he could tell Zayn, he doesn't really want to tell him that he basically had cyber sex with Louis, because it feels a bit too personal and an exposure towards Louis that he kind of doesn't want to do to him. So, he just settles on the, well not really the best next thing.

"I don't think Louis likes me, the way I like him." Harry says, he's scrubbing a bit more harder at the table.

"What makes you think that?" he hears Zayn question.

"Just, some stuff happened last night between us, and this morning he sounded like, he regretted everything." Harry half shrugs, continuing to scrub the surface.

"Did you guys fuck?" Zayn sounds a bit amused at his assumption.

"Jesus Christ, no, not really. Just, it was something like that. He ended up just telling me that he was drunk last night and he wants well, to just forget what happened between us. So, I just don't think he likes me the way I like him." Harry says as he stops scrubbing the table, instead moves to rack up glasses.

"Maybe he thinks you were the one who didn't want that to happen, and he's just trying to make you feel better?" Zayn tries.

"I was the one to start it, so it was obvious I wanted it." Harry sighs out, shaking his head. "Look, it doesn't matter I guess I'll just talk to him when I see him again, I don't want to think about it right now. It's going to be a busy day, Sunday always is."

And that was that.

-/

Just like Harry has said, it was a very busy day, once the morning rush came in, it seemed like it just never left. Harry was all over the place, serving drinks, arguing with customers, he was just, everywhere. Zayn was in the same boat as Harry, buzzing up and down trying to get orders and drinks right. It was by far the most busiest days Harry has ever had to work with, and by the end of the shift Harry was drained mentally and physically. It felt like the shift went on for ages, longer then usual, so when he was able to clock out he let a sigh of relief out and got his arse out of the bar as quickly as he could.

Zayn was on his tail though, quickly following him out of the pub, since they now work the same shifts. Harry did talk to Ben awhile back about rostering them together, and surprisingly Ben had no complaints about it so Harry had been grateful for that.

"Well, that was a mad rush." Zayn laughs stretching his arms over his head.

"My feet hurt so much, I might need another massage. Does Liam do feet?" Harry questions tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.

Harry's work has a work uniform, like all works do, his was simple black pants, closed in shoes and their work shirt. Harry would always wear his baggy pants, even his one with the belts on them and his two sizes too big high tops. Now though, he isn't sure why, but lately he's been going to work now with their work shirt on, and his tight black pants. His shoes are replaced with these leather type of boots he didn't even know he owned, it must've been a pair of shoes he brought for the hell of it one time and just forgot all about them.

"Yeah, Liam does feet, hands, necks, back, really he'll do whatever hurts. He's got amazing hands, you know." Zayn laughs, his whole body shaking from the laughs.

Harry can tell just how much Zayn loves Liam by the way he speaks about him.

"Tell him I would like to see him when he is free next." Harry grins, knocking shoulders with Zayn.

"Course, I'll tell him when I get home. He'll probably be able to do you tomorrow night, is that okay?" Zayn hums.

"Yeah, I'll ask Margret to look after Staysha for a tiny bit longer and then come over." Harry agrees nodding.

"Sweet, well this is my street as you well know. So I'll see you tomorrow night, hopefully!" Zayn grins hugging Harry quickly.

He doesn't hesitate to hug Zayn back, and he pats his back before they go their own ways to head to their places.

Harry slows his pace down a little bit when he starts to walk home, he's only about ten minutes away by now, but he just slows down to let's himself dawdle. His mind is still racing through the events of last night, and how far he has come so far. He remembers first meeting Niall, how excited the boy had been to meet Harry himself, then he remembers meeting Zayn and the band joke they had shared, then meeting Liam, learning how incredible his massages were, and he remembers meeting Louis, how Louis had basically hated him from the start before he slowly started to like him.

He thinks it over basically everything Louis had done for him, every time someone so much as glanced at Harry the wrong way, Louis was always on their case - having a go at them - and it's been awhile since someone has actually said something directly to Harry lately. He thinks about how much Louis compliments him in the smallest ways, which makes Harry feel more good and confident about himself. He lets himself think about everything Louis has done to make Harry fall for him.

Harry's only ever been in love once, that had been with Healy, so he knows the signs of when he starts to feel the love attraction. He begins to think of the person all the time, always wondering how they are, what they're up too. Then he will start to include them in day to day routines, so before Harry even knows it, he'll be thinking about them all the time and he will want to be with them all the time as well.

It's how Harry knows he's falling properly in love with Louis.

He wants to hold Louis hand all the time, kiss him just because he can, he wants to fall asleep with him in his arms, or in Louis arms, and wake up every morning with him. He wants Staysha to call him her other dad, and he wants Louis to be his boyfriend. He wants, everything there is to be with Louis.

He's falling in love slowly, and he doesn't even know if Louis likes him in that way.

Sure Louis will kiss him here and there, hold his hand every now and then, but he's never spoken of having a relationship, feelings, or anything even remotely like that. Louis has never spoke an ounce of anything in that category, so it always has Harry confused and wondering on Louis side of things.

With the events of what had happend last night, Harry had thought that meant Louis showed some kind of interest in him. But after the text that he received this morning, he was back to square one and left wondering what the fuck Louis is feeling for himself.

Harry's never had a one sided love before, and now he can understand how hard it is for some people; to love someone so much, and be stuck never knowing how that person actually feels about you.

By the time he reaches his apartment the sun has completely set behind him, and Harry can hear the faint sound of cars driving by far from him. He's always liked the nighttime, how peaceful things can be, and mainly how quiet it is. He used to spend a lot of his time as a teenager sitting on the top of the roof of his house at night, just sitting and watching the stars, usually dreaming about what the future held for him.

He makes his way through the apartment lobby, getting in the elevatore and heading up his floor. He doesn't get Staysha straight away, he never really does anyway, he goes home first and toes off his shoes and socks before he takes his work shirt off, he quickly puts a load of dirty clothes in the washing machine before he heads into his room.

Harry leaves his jeans on, before he ruffles through his clothes for a shirt. For a reason Harry isn't really sure on, all his heavy metal band shirts don't look that appealing to him anymore, kind of like, it's not something that he really wants to wear anymore. So he spends a solid ten minutes looking for a decent type of shirt too wear, what he does find is a black T-Shirt that has white flower prints on it. He remembers this shirt as one he got from a thrift store because he had thought it had a neat design, but once again he never wore it like the boots he has and just ended up forgetting all about it.

He slips it on, it's turns out to be a tiny bit tight, but nothing too bad so it doesn't really phase him, before he moves back into the kitchen to where his wallet is placed. He grabs some money out for Margret, then heads to his front door, ready to go and pick Staysha up.

His phone vibrates on the kitchen bench, which is loud in the silent house and nearly scares Harry half to death at the sudden noise. His heart beats fast against his chest from the sudden npise and he calms himself down before he walks over to the kitchen, picking his phone up.

It's a text message from Liam, and Harry smiles at it.

**Li:** _**zayn tld me u need a massage, u can come by 2morrow night @ 8pm if u wnt. If it's 2 l8, txt me n I'll find a better time. :)** _

He can't help the chuckle that leaves his mouth at the way that Liam spells, it's adorable how he attempts to abbreviate words to his text.

**H:** _**No, that's fine. I'm sure Margret will watch Staysha for a bit for it. I'll c u then. :)** _

He locks his phone again, placing it back onto the bench before letting a very long yawn out - the toll of the day clouding around him - before he's heading back to his front door. He really does need to go and get Staysha now. It's already 7pm and Harry needs to make dinner, give her a shower and go to bed.

There's a knock at his door before Harry even gets the chance to reach it, and he swears he's going to rip his hair out, he just wants to go and pick his daughter up and spend a little time with her, was that way too much to ask for?

"Just a minute." Harry calls out, before he rolls his eyes, he's so sore, so tired and really not in the mood to talk to anyone that isn't his daughter or margret.

His hair is annoying him now for being covered in sweat from the day, and sticking down on his face, so he quickly pushes it out of his eyes, determined to get his hair washed as soon as he possibly can. He spots his worn out green beanie on one of the small dinning chairs he has, and he grabs it, pulling it over his hair and tugging it down snugly, he probably looks ridiculous standing there in skin tight jeans, some flower pattern shirt, stud facial piercings and a green beanie hiding all his hair, but Harry has learnt to just not give a fuck about what he looks like when he's in the comfort of his own home.

He silently remembers someone was at his door, and Harry moves towards the door to grab the handle. He has no idea who it could be, maybe Margret's come to drop Staysha off, or Niall's come home early, despite it being a day since he left, or maybe Louis has finally come back and he is ready to apologies in person or something along those thoughts. Harry really isn't sure on who he wants to see standing behind that door.

So he does what he does, and he opens the door pulling it back to see whose standing there.

His eyes widen when he takes in that it isn't Margret, Niall or Louis, but, in fact it's a woman.

The woman herself is dressed in a pair of denim jeans, a black singlet and a shirt that seems to be a fish net type of pattern over top of the singlet, the woman's brown hair has been tied up in a pony tail.

Harry's eyebrows nit in confusion to who this woman is, as he scans her up and down taking in her appearance and when his eyes finally lock with her's, a spark goes off inside of Harry.

His knees start to feel weak as his eyes widen, and he feels like the blood is draining from his face as his heart starts beating really fast and hard against him. It's a face he never dreamed he would ever see again, it's a person he thought who walked out of his life for good all those years ago.

He opens his mouth to speak, but his voice feels like it's stuck in his throat. He can feel tears well up behind his eyes, and he croaks clearing his throat before he tries to speak again. This time it works a bit better, his voice sound a bit shaken up and broken, but Harry can't help it, when he whimpers out a small;

_"Mum?"_


	11. Chapter Eleven.

The grip on the door handle is tight enough that Harry's knuckles are sure to be turning white from the pressure. His feet are glued to the spot in the ground, while it feels like his knees are going to give way at any point in time. His stomach feels like it's about to drop out, it's the feeling like when you're on a roller coaster and it's slowly making its way up to the top, he's feeling the same way he would feel when the roller coaster finally goes down and your stomach drops from the intense feeling.

He's pretty sure the expression on his face is covered in surprise, his eyes are open wide, both eyebrows raised near his hairline and his mouth is hanging open a little bit. It's not really his fault that he's in shock though, it's just the small fact that his mother is standing right in front of him. His mum, that he hadn't seen for almost four years now, his mum that never contacted him and just walked on out of his life is standing right in front of him.

He feels a sharp change in his stance, and he raises his shoulders as he stands himself up straighter. The surprise and confusion is slowly being replaced by anger and sadness, causing Harry to clench his teeth together before he glares at his mum, if possible, his grip on the door tightens even more.

"What are you doing here?" Harry asks, breathing heavily.

There's a small part of Harry that is so happy that his mother is back, that she's here, a small other part of him wants to just break down and throw himself at her. But, the bigger part of him, that's taken over most of his senses is anger, anger as into why is she here after all these years, why the hell is she here? What does she want? Harry knows for a fact it's a shit thing to be thinking, but fuck, it's been almost four years of not seeing or hearing even just a peep from her and now she shows up unexpectedly, out of the blue, has thrown Harry off guard so much.

"Harry.." His mum, Anne her nam was, finally speaks and her voice is just how he remembers it. Smooth like honey, and sounding of home.

She sounds like Home and all Harry wants too do now is cry.

"Baby, I'm so sorry." She continues and the anger is slowly washing away at the sincere sound of her voice, he was never one who could stay mad at his mum for long no matter what she had done. "Let me in please, then we can talk." She says, and Harry nods forcing his feet to move to the side, so he can let her in.

"I n-need to get Staysha." Harry curses at his stutter when he remembers that he needs to get his daughter.

"You don't need to get her right now, Margret, lovely old lady said she would watch her for a bit longer." Anne says as she moves into Harry's lounge room and sits down on the couch.

"How do you know Margret?" Harry questions, slowly making his way into the lounge room.

"Harry, please, sit down and I'll explain everything to you." Anne promises and Harry bites his lower lip before he sits on the couch next to her.

"I just, I want to start by saying how deeply sorry I am Harry, for what a shit mother I have been for the past, well four years towards you." Harry doesn't disagree on that. "And I'm going to tell you everything, I promise." She states, sucking in a deep breath of air before releasing it.

"So, let me start by what happened too me, three days ago before I talk about everything else." She eyes Harry before looking down at her palms.

"It had been a normal day for me at home, I had just been cleaning and doing the normal house chores, Robin had been at work and I had the day off from my job. As it began to near lunchtime, I'm just in the kitchen getting ready to make something to eat when there's this loud, impatient banging on my front door. I was confused at first, not knowing who it would be, before I was shrugging to myself and heading over to my door. As I've gone to open it, I've taken a step back because this well bloody body has tumbled into my house, like he was going to knock again and just lost balance as I've opened the door." Anne lets a small laugh out at that. "So he has come stumbling into my home, nearly knocking me down on the way - but luckily we both managed to catch our balance. He starts apologising throughly straight away about what just happened, before he then goes on to ask if my name was Anne Styles." She slows down her speaking a tiny bit. "I told him that used to be my last name until I remarried and was now going by Anne Twist, he seemed to understand before he continued to speak.

He went on about this long rant about you baby, he had kept saying your name over and over again, as well as he kept saying how much you had missed me and that you wanted to know why I left you all those years ago. Before he then went on about how I was such a bad mother, and I really couldn't deny him when he was calling me out on exactly what I was. I wasn't sure what his point was to be in the end, because all he did was he kept raging on about you and Staysha but when he finally did get to the end of his rant, he looked me in the eyes and just said "Why did you abandon your own son when he needed you the most?" And just stared me down. I was lost for words, because I just didn't know what to tell him. He ended up staying at my house for a couple of nights, and we got talking more and more about everything and he, convinced me to come down here to face you." Anne glances up to look at Harry. "So it's why it's why I'm here, it's all thanks to him for helping me get the actual nerve to come back down here and see you, see my youngest baby - but Harry, I just didn't know how to come back into your life after being gone for so long and not being apart of anything too do with you or Staysha." Anne's voice is laced with hurt, and Harry looks away willing himself not to cry.

"A call or even a text would've been nice." He whispers shaking his head.

"I was going to hun I really was. Though every time I got your contact up, I backed out because I didn't think you would ever have wanted too talk to me again." She whispers back before clearing her throat.

"I grew up learning that if you were going to have a kid, you were to have the kid with one person who you love and too be old enough to be able to raise one properly. I had you when I was young, and I had been foolish enough to think I was in love with your father. I am in no way saying you were a mistake Harry, that's not what I'm getting at with this. But, I had you when I was young, not long after Gemma and then your father left without a trace. So I was forced to raise and look after two kids by myself. When you came home that day, when you told me that Healy was pregnant I was so, so shocked, and so mad at you because I knew that what you and her had wasn't going to last, I knew for awhile that she never really loved you that much anymore, and I wanted to tell you but I couldn't do that to you, it wasn't my place for that, you had adored her, but then you continued on to tell me that she was going to leave you as soon as the baby was born." She bites her lip, shaking her head a little bit. "I was furious, I was furious at you for not having safe sex like you should be doing and for the way Healy was acting and behaving towards it all, but I was no better in the end. I did the most horrible thing a mother could do to their kid.

I thought I had done such a bad job in raising you, that you were just following in my footsteps on being a parent, and I didn't even give you the chance to try and raise her at home. I turned you away after getting this apartment for you, and it was the worst thing I have ever done. I had just been so mad at the time, but I wasn't even mad at you so too say, it was more Healy and the situation then anything, and.. I just, I did what I did to you and I have felt like shit every day since then." Anne lets a couple of tears slide down her face.

"I know, this probably doesn't make any sense to you Harry, but somewhere along raising you, I thought I had fucked up on teaching you the importantness of the safe sex ways, into having kids and all of that. I was forced to become a grown woman twice as more when I had you just after Gemma, and I got so mad at it all that I basically said to myself "fuck it, if he wants to be so reckless, then he can learn what real parenthood is like" but Harry I regret it so much, I was such a shit mother too you, and everyday I have wanted to call you to see how you are and apologise. But I know with how I acted, treated you, how bloody selfish and cold I was, I didn't think you would have ever wanted to speak to or see me ever again."

"I just, why didn't you just call me or something a couple of days after you left me? I would've completley understood." He's freely crying now, the explanation Harry's mum has given him was a bit weird, long, confusing and really a shit thing to do, and he knows she's telling the truth which just makes it hurt a lot.

"Harry I did such a horrible thing to you, to my own son over the most stupidest reason.." Anne says wiping at her eyes. "I thought you would've hated me so much that you never wanted to hear from me again, but then, your friend shows up out of the blue and tells me everything on how much you missed me to how your life was now - and it just opened my eyes on how much of a horrible mother I am, and how much I needed you back in my life."

It's all so much for Harry, having his mother here and in his apartment, hearing her apologise to explain everything she's ever done. This has been Harry's dream ever since she walked out, it's all he ever wanted for her too come back and tell him everything. Now that she's actually here and doing exactly just that is all so much for him. He isn't even completely sure on what he's to say back to her, because his mother is completely right, he was mad to begin with, he didn't want to speak to her again, but he had missed her too much that the anger faded and he just wanted to see her again.

"W-who was the friend who came too you?" Harry finally settles on, looking over at his mum and raising an eyebrow. His eyes are stinging red from the crying, and he can see tear tracks on his own mothers face.

He really wants to lean over and wipe at her cheeks.

"His name was Louis Tomlinson, he's a lovely young lad." Harry's eyes widen, and he shakes his head in disbelief, was that why he left town so suddenly? It doesn't make that much sense as in too why he would even do that.

"Do you know him? He kept speaking like you were such close mates." She continues on, letting a small sigh out.

"I do know him, yeah." He doesn't want to tell her that they may be more then just friends, he doesn't even know if she knows Harry had liked boys as well.

"He was the one who haad told me who was watching Staysha for the night.. How is she by the way?" Anne questions lowly.

"She's really great mum." Harry smiles a bit at being able to say mum again. "I raised her really good I like too think, her speaking is as good as it can be - she just turned 4 two months ago." Harry nods happily to himself. "I love her so much, she does look so much like Healy but there's bits of me you can see in her. I have been working a lot lately, so Margret looks after her, but when I can, when I'm not working, I love spending as much time as I can get with her." Harry crosses his arms over his chest, as he leans back against the couch. "When Margret can't look after her my good friend and neighbour Niall will, but at the moment he's just gone on a business trip for a bit now, so Louis will come over and watch her when he gets the chance." Harry bites his lower lip, he doesn't want to add onto that Louis also makes him dinner and calls him babe when he comes home, and also that they maybe kiss a lot while they act like a proper married couple.

"That's really good too hear Harry, how long have you known Niall and Louis for now?" Anne says wiping her eyes, they both aren't crying anymore, now slowly moving past the emotional stage, it feels kind of nice, being able to actually talk to his mother after so long.

"Uh, I'm thinking roughly around three months, almost four now." Harry says an eyebrow raised, he wasn't really sure on how long they've all known each other for.

"That's good, I really did like the Louis guy, for even after three months of knowing you he was so willing to come down and get me to come back too apologise. He seems like a true friend to you Harry."

"He's amazing mum, I lo-like him so much." Harry catches himself on saying the L word, it almost slipped out and he felt like he almost had a panic attack from it. He knows it's way too early to say the actual L word. Especially when he and Louis aren't even together in the first place.

"I bet you do Harry, he seems like an amazing man. Are you and him dating by any chance?" She seems so curious and Harry nearly chocked on nothing but the air at her question.

"No!" He says too quickly, shaking his head. "I mean, how would you even know that I like guys anyway?" Harry says turning his head towards his mum, both his eyebrows raised one again.

"Dear, I am your mother, I just know these things - especially with the way he was talking about you when he came down, there had to be something more going on between you two instead of just a friendship." She assures sweetly. "I'm not disgusted at the fact that you like boys Harry, please don't ever think that. You love, who you love my dear." Anne says with a small smile on her face.

"Well, we aren't dating." Harry sighs looking down at his lap. "I don't think he likes me like that anyway."

"If he was willing to find me, and seek out where I lived just to get me to come here because he knows how much you damn well missed me, proves that he likes you just a bit more than you would think. If you had of seen the way he was talking about you when he was there, and how upset he was over our history, I am so sure you would think differently then you do now." She assures with a nod.

"I... Don't know, I guess it's something I would have to speak to him about." Harry says letting a deep sigh out before turning his body towards his mum. "I'm really glad you're here now though, I've missed you so, so much, please don't ever turn me away again." Harry admits his bottom lip trembling.

"I'll never be that stupid again Harry, I love you so much." She says opening her arms and Harry doesn't even hesitate to move into her embrace, cuddling up to his mother.

"I love you so much mum, I've missed you so much." He says sighing onto her, forcing the tears back, he's done enough crying already.

"How about we go get Staysha yeah? And is it alright if I do spend the night with you?" Anne asks and Harry just nods, cuddling her more tightly.

It's been such a weird day for Harry, what started out as a regretting text from Louis to going on to his mum coming back in his life, all because of Louis he has gotten Harry in two different mind sets.

Is his mum right about Louis liking him more than he thinks he does? Or is Louis just being a kind friend and looking out for a mate? It's a question that Harry always comes back to at the end of the day, he's just not clear on Louis true feelings towards him, or really anything on revolving around Louis. So he knows what he has got to do now, to find out the answers he seeks.

Harry is going to have to be the one to man up and ask Louis straight out about his feelings towards Harry, and he will do it, after he picks up Staysha and gets the bed made up for his mum, since he'll be the one too crash on the couch, no way in hell would he be letting his mum sleep on his couch - he just hopes Staysha will sleep with her, she only ever likes her daddy in the bed with her.

Instead, before he does any of what he's thinking, he pushes himself up more against his mum, holds her tight and lives in the moment of his mother holding him once again.


	12. Chapter Twelve.

Harry had been twelve when it had been the last time he got to hug his mother, he had fallen off his bike going too fast down hill. His legs ended up getting scrapped badly along with his elbows and arms. He had been crying hysterically for the whole walk way home, dragging his bike in one hand while limping the entire time. He hadn't of cared on who would've seen him crying hysterically, all he had cared about was just getting home to his mum, because he knew that mothers always made everything better.

His mother never questioned how he managed to fall off of his bike, she just looked at him with such sad eyes and opened her arms up for him. Harry fell into them gracefully and all he could remeber was the smell of the rose perfume she wore all the time and he remebers feeling safe in between her arms.

It was the very last time he hugged his mother.

Simply now, here he is once again in her arms, as well as he can still smell the same rose perfume she had been wearing - along with feeling the safeness once again. He can't be sure on how long they end up hugging for excpet it must've been well over ten minutes. Yet, Harry didn't really care besides he could've stayed like this forever if he was given the chance, nonetheless they end up pulling way because it tened to be getting really late in the night and Harry really needed to go pick his daughter up.

So he had been the first one to pull away, along with being able to see the tiredness in his mothers eyes.

"My bedroom is right over there." Harry points in the direction of his bedroom. "Go sleep in there, Staysha will either join you or we will both crash on the couch. Please don't try and argue about me with sleeping on the couch mum, I honestly don't mind." Harry smiles small, nodding his head towards his room. "Tomorrow we can talk more on everything, but I really need to get Staysha now." He says, his statement final.

They both stand up from the couch additionally Harry quickly hugs her again, telling her how much he loves her before he's making his way out of his apartment and finding himself back into the hallway.

When he's out of site of his mum, Harry leans his back against his door and drops his head, letting deep sighs out along with closing his eyes tightly and taking in the feeling of actually having his mother back in his life.

He had been so very convinced that he would never see her again in this life he was living, that he would just be left in the total darkness - never knowing why she did what she had done. Furthermore he was so very scared of just that, he knew he was always a 'mummies' boy, so never knowing why she did what she did would've haunted Harry for the rest of his life.

Yet, Louis - Louis went out of his own way to go out in search to find Harry's mother and convince her to come back too see him. Louis is the only solid reason as to Harry seeing his mother once more, why he now knows what had happened, along with that she's now apart of his life once more. Louis, the most incredible boy Harry had ever had the pleasure to meet, did all of this just for Harry, just because he had admitted a couple of times to the lad how much he missed his mother.

Harry knows that he's well on the verge of falling completely in love with Louis, he can feel it in the way his heart stutters at the thought of him, it's in the way he can't stop the smile that appears when he so as much sees the boy, as well as the way he feels when he and Louis kiss. Harry know now that's he is so close to falling in love with Louis, in addition to that, the only thing that is holding him back from being completely and totally crazy in love with Louis, is, well, Louis himself.

They are nowhere near being properly together, yet Harry's feelings for Louis are still so strong, that it would be kind of scary to an outsider.

He looks up from the ground, moreover his heartbeat skips a beat when he clearly sees that Louis is standing directly across from him, leaning against his very own door with a small smile etched on his face when he locks his eyes with Harry. Harry can't even fight back his own smile towards Louis, as he pushes himself off the door and walks in a straight line towards him, Louis mouth automatically opens to speak words when Harry gets closer, but Harry doesn't let him get too speak, instead he just raises his hands up towards him, and cups Louis cheeks before pulling him into a deep bruising kiss.

Harry makes sure to slip one of his hands into Louis hair, gripping it tightly as he kisses him, as well as his knees almost buckling when Louis moans against his lips. Louis own hands find their way to Harry's hips to hold onto tightly as he kisses Harry back with just as much passion.

Their lips slot together so perfectly like a puzzle piece coming together smootly, causing Harry to feel like he's floating on cloud nine, he always does feel like this when he kisses Louis, but right now, if it was even possible, he feels like he is much more higher than that, with all the mixed emotions that are running through him as he snogs the life out of the boy in front of him.

"Thank you, so much." Harry says when they finally endf up breaking the kiss for air, so Harry rests his forehead on Louis shoulder, moving his hands down to wrap around Louis waist.

Louis doesn't even say anything, he just moves his hands up around Harry's neck and pulls him in tighter against him. He doesn't need to say a word, just the smile that never leaves his face is enough. He sighs before he closes his eyes, letting his grip tighten around Harry's body.

-/

It's now been a total of two weeks since Harry's mother had come back into his life, it's been two weeks of Harry floating around on cloud nine and being more happy then he ever has been before. It's been two solid weeks where Harry has stopped all the doubt in himself, what's more accepting is the fact that he knows he deserves all the good things that he is getting right now. He completely ignores the small voice in his head telling him not to get too comfortable, because things have been going fine so far - they were great - Harry had such loving friends, an amazingly beautiful daughter and his mother back in his life. Nothing bad has come out of any of this for the past fortnight, so Harry just came to the conclusion that he really does deserve all of this.

It took him a couple of days explaining the situation to Staysha on who Anne was, getting her used to now having a grandmother and a grandfather in her own life, she ended up accepting it more easily then Harry had expected her to. Anne had only stayed for a couple more days since her arrival, before she needed to head home. Harry did offer to drive her back home, but she clearly refused to it with just saying that she didn't mind taking the train back to home, along with that Harry couldn't miss out on any more days of work.

So now that it's been two weeks since all of this had happened, Harry had gotten as many massages from Liam as he could to relax his body throughly, as well as spending more time with Zayn outside of the work industry. in spite of that in the two weeks that have gone by, the one thing that played on Harry's mind a lot besides his mothers reappearance was what exactly had happened between Louis and Harry on that eventful night.

They haven't spoken a syllable about the texts or the pictures that had been shared, they haven't uttered one single word about it, and Harry had been slowly losing his mind about it. So he starts paying close attention to Louis when they end up properly snogging. He tends to notice more on how Louis will refrain his hips from slightly grinding down against Harry's own along with how he will break the kiss off before he can have the chance to buck his hips down. So now Harry comes to the conclusion that Louis does wants to go further, he just stops himself before he gets the chance too do it. Although Harry himself would actually love to go further as well, since he's never done anything like this before with a guy, he doesn't exactly know what to do or how to actually start it in person. Over text had been a bit more simpler, but in person, it's a whole new board game.

Still, Harry hasn't even asked Louis how he feels about him, despite making the promise too himself to actually ask. Every time the opportunity arises for Harry to ask, he always manages to make an excuse on why he should not ask Louis. Deep down he just knows it's because he's terrified, he doesn't want what him and Louis have to be ruined because of the feelings that Harry has towards him.

But it also doesn't help when Louis continues to do small things that make Harry fall more for him. Like one of them, is being completely amazing with his daughter when he isn't working at the supermarket (he only just got the job, Harry kissed him so hard when Louis told him.), also making dinner for them was another one and even laughing at all the shit jokes Harry cracks. Some days Harry will wish he wasn't feeling this way towards Louis, it's so overwhelming to him the feelings he has, that he knows it was nothing compared to what he used too feel for Healy.

It was currently a Saturday night, Harry had just gotten home from another busy day at work when he was in the process of going to pick his daughter up when Niall appeared out of nowhere, tackling Harry into a massive bear hug. Harry had lost his balance at the sudden action, cursing pretty loudly as they've both gone and tumbled onto the ground.

"Harry!"

"Jesus Niall!"

They both say at the same time, causing both of them too start laughing berore they pick themselves back up off the floor.

"You're back!" Harry says, when he's got his balance back and calmed down from the surliness attack Niall gave him.

"I got back yesterday! I was going too text you, but I fell asleep as soon as I laid me head o0n me bed, so that didn't get too happen! Though anyway, I wanted to know if you wanted to come out drinking with me, Louis, Zayn and Liam tonight?" Harry's slowly getting used to how fast Niall talks, how quickly he manages to change topics mid sentence. It's kind of endearing in a way to be honest.

"Uh." Harry starts before he bites down on his lower lip.

He's never really been out to a club before, he works in a bar for a job so he always sees what happens to most of the people who get themselves drunk, but he does know how to deal with drunk people, which could come in handy for the lads. Yet again, he's never really been drunk with friends before - he used to get drunk all the time, especially in the early ages of having Staysha, but he used to always be alone for them - so it might be a bit different if he was to go out with other people.

"I would have to ask Margret if she could watch Staysha for the night if I do. Since you know, we would all be going out late and Louis nor you wouldn't be able to watch her." Harry lets out a small laugh, before smiling at Niall.

"That is very true, didn't even think about that." Niall agrees, with a tiny laugh. "Well how about you go and ask Margret, then text me or swing by if you're able to come out? I'll let you know when me and Louis are leaving if you are able to join us." Niall waves Harry off before he turns around and heads back to his own apartment.

Harry makes his way to Margret's front door, gently knocking on it while the left piercing on his bottom lip is caught between his teeth, as he gnaws at it nervously.

It takes a minute, so Harry takes a tiny step back when the door is slowly being opened. Margret's standing there in her night gown, a small pleased smile resting on her face.

"Harry." She greets warmly, Harry can't help but smile wide at her. She's always felt like a second mother too him.

"Hey Marg, I was hoping to ask you for a favour." Harry starts slowly, his eyes flicking from Margrets to the ground.

He doesn't know why he's become so nervous asking her to watch Staysha for the night so he can go out clubbing, oh shit, Harry's eyes widen at the realisation of what he was about too ask - does this make him a bad dad? Wanting to go out drinking with his friends and leaving his daughter behind? Shit, now he's just convinced himself that what he's doing is actually really bad. Except, he does really want to spend some time with his friends as well outside of work and this aparment building, he's torn between these two options. Although he's sure his daughter wouldn't mind if he went out for the night... Well he hopes so at least.

"Sure dear, what could the favour be?" Margret asks, the smile on her face is calming Harry down a tiny bit.

"Er, my friends invited me out to go well clubbing I guess with them. I was wondering if you wanted to watch Staysha for the night? I'll definietly make sure to pay you extra tomorrow for it!" Harry quickly speaks, his nerves basically flying off the roof in the question.

"Honey, it's okay." Margret chuckles. "She's actually asleep right now, but I will watch her tonight for you. You go out and have some fun for once dear, while you're still young, go do it, live a litte." Her calming smile never leaves her face, making Harry feel a bit more at rest with it.

"Thank you, so much, you're so amazing Marg, honestly." Harry admits, a sigh of relief washing over him.

"I try to be." She grins, and Harry just smiles back.

-/

Harry had sent a text too Niall when he got back into his apartment that he was able to go out, that Margret said she would watch Staysha for the night, and Niall had texted back in all caps - less then a minute after recieving Harry's text - that he was over the moon excited that Harry was able to come before he then proceeded too tell Harry that they were leaving around 8, which happened to be an hour away from now.

So now he's just gotten himself out of the shower, his hair blowed dry and the towel wrapped snuggly around his waist as he searches for something nice too wear for the night.

Harry absolutely loves his piercings, he would never even dream of ever getting rid of them, along with his tattoos (even though it'd be a bit impossible to get rid of those.) He has full sleeves along with chest tattoos, and he loves every single one of them. Execpt lately Harry hasn't really liked his hair, with the colours he had in have started to fade. He had stared at himself long and hard in the mirror before hoping into the shower, he spotted his brunette hair dye he brought awhile back just incase the colour he had didn't look good. He ended up making the decision on the spot to dye his hair back to his natural colour. So now his hair is back to being brunette, and when he looks at all his clothes that he owns, it doesn't feel like him anymore.

Harry has no idea onto why he's feeling this way right now, why his dark clothes don't make him happy anymore, why the colour in his hair didn't look good like it used too do. Like he said, he'll never change his piercings, but with what material he covers his body in, he knows he wants a new style. He no longer wants the baggy jeans, the black high boots or the band shirts. It doesn't feel like him anymore, he just wants something else that will make him feel at ease.

He's been wearing that one pair of skinny black normal jeans he owns for the past week now, and he managed to fall in love with them along with his leather brown boots boots, but it's always been a shirt that Harry has problems wearing that make him feel good.

He grabs out the jeans he was thinking about, he pulls his boxers on first before dropping his towel and tugging is jeans on roughly and does them up after, he then crouches himself down as he searches for a decent shirt in his wardrobe.

It takes him about twenty minutes to actually find a shirt that makes him feel comfortable enought to wear and that he's completely happy with. It had just been a normal white shirt, though on the hem of it, it has these tiny little pink flowers. Harry isn't even sure onto why, but he's been taking a liking to flower printed shirts recently.

He hangs his towel back up in the bathroom, goes over to change his lip piercings to his normal studs, his nose one to a ring and then changes the balls on his eyebrow piercing to spikes. He smiles at himself in the mirror, quickly seeing how the brown hair looks on him, before he heads out and grabs his wallet off the bench along with his phone before he walks out of his apartment.

He's just locking his door when he hears Niall and Louis, he quickly hurries himself up with locking the door before turning around to smile at the duo.

"Harry! You're hair!" Is the first thing Niall out of Niall's mouth, which causes Harry to blush under the comment, smiling shyly at Niall.

"Er, yeah the bue colour was starting to fade, it didn't really look good anymore. So I just, yeah." He shrugs, waving a hand towards his face, the smile still ontact.

"Well, it looks really good." Niall nods approvingly towards Harry.

"Brown definietly suites you." Louis lightly pipes up, it only causes Harry to blush even more.

"Thank you." Harry acknowledges Louis comment.

"Alright guys, let us go!" Niall claps his hands together before turning around to head off down the hall.

-/

It came to a small surprise with Harry, when he found out that the bar they were all going to wasn't the one that he worked at - he would've just assumed that that's where they were going too go. It had been the closest one to them all, except when they had left the apartment they had all gotten into Niall's car and he drove them off into the opposite direction of the pub Harry works at.

It was a fifteen minute drive away to the new pub they were going too, and when they finally pulled up to it, Harry's eyes had widen.

It was some real fancy pub, one that Harry had never seen before in his time living here. It seemed to look really popular, there was even a bouncer outside of the entrance with a long line of people attempting too get in. Harry sinks down in his seat, biting hard at his lower lip as he watches Niall and Louis get themselves out of the car. Harry takes a couple of deep breaths in, releases them and calms himself down before he hops out as well.

Niall just gives him a smile when Harry looks over at him, as they all head over to the bouncer. The bouncer seems to recognise Niall on first the look because he doesn't say anything at all too them, instead he just opens up the door for Niall and let's Louis and himself follow behind into the club. Harry attempts to ignore all the people yelling at them about how it's not fair that they get to go in, and not them. It's not his or Louis fault that Niall seems too know who the bouncer is, the don't know every single one of Niall's friends.

The club on the inside is nothing to how Harry would've expected it too be, it's definietly a proper Hollywood style type of club. Neon lights are lit up along the bar, the dance floor was scattered with so man people all over them, and their had been normal booths along with private booths. It shouldn't of surprised Harry really when Niall lead them to a private booth, but of course, just like everything else that's happened it does. He's now learnt to know that Niall is well rich, he just didn't know how well off he was too be able to get into a pub like this one.

Zayn and Liam were already here, sitting in the booth together that Niall had lead them too. Both with drinks in one hand while the other one was finding a place on each other too touch or hold. They were always touching each other, and Harry had really admired them for that - not having any shame what so ever to be with their parnter in public. Niall sat himself next to Liam and Louis moved to sit next to Zayn. Harry chose to sit opposite of them all, so he was sitting by himself, but he chose not too mind it.

Louis didn't really say much to him in the car, or spare him so much as a glance as well. Harry doesn't quite know exactly what's going on with Louis at this point in time, but he doesn't want to intervene incase he's going through something personal that could cause him too lash out on Harry. So Harry just lets Louis do himself, and he doesn't push on anything.

Niall tells him and Louis that they can order whatever drink they want, so Harry orders the drink that had the most vodka in it while everyone else orders their own type of drinks.

It doesn't seem too take long for Niall to get himself properly hammered Harry comes to realise quickly,he watches as Niall stumbles away from their booth to the dance floor to go dance, or maybe even to try and find someone too dance with. Harry wasn't exactly sure on Niall's actual intentions, he just slurred some words that concisted of 'floor' and 'dance.' Though also It didn't take long for Zayn and Liam to follow suite, Liam ended up dragging Zayn onto the dance floor and pulling him in as close to himself as they could while they danced, then Louis trailed aftet them and soon enough Harry was sitting in the booth all by himself.

But surprisingly Harry didn't even mind that he was alone in the booth with his own drink. He wasn't drunk nor tipsy, he was just light headed and relaxed a bit.

He just let him self observe the dance floor as he sipped on his drink, and he smiled too himself when he saw Niall attempting to pull a girl into dancing, before he laughed when he saw that Niall got rejected. Niall didn't seem to be bothered anyway and moved right onto someone else. He soon spotted Zayn and Liam up against the dance floor wall heavily making out, and he quickly adverts his eyes looking for Louis.

It takes Harry a bit longer than he planned on too find Louis, but when he finally does find Louis he quickly comes too the conclusion on wishing he rather didn't find him.

Louis had been dancing with a guy that was taller then himself, he was more built in the chest and arms area than Harry had been, which is the first thing he notices about the man. Soon he comes too realize that they weren't just innocently dancing either, Louis had his back towards the guys chest, his hands twisted up into he guys short jet black hair, and Harry was pretty convinced that his arse is grinding against the taller mans dick. Harry swallows hard as he sees the stranger lean down to start kissing along Louis neck, and Harry swallows again when Louis throws his head back to accept the kissing.

Harry stands himself up quickly, throws his drink onto the ground and makes his way down to the dance floor. He isn't sure on exactly what he's actually going to do when he reaches them, all he knows is that he's really angry and deeply hurt with the actions Louis is doing. He know they are together or anything like that, so Harry really doesn't have the right to be getting really mad at this, but, he just thought what he and Louis had was something special and he was almost convinced that Louis had liked him just as much as he liked Louis enough to feel that what they had was special.

But in seeing him now, doing this with some stranger has Harry's deepest fears coming to the truth. Louis never liked him, he was only being so nice to Harry because he probably felt bad for him. Harry wasn't sure, though it feels like that's how it was all along, he just knows that right now he's hurting so much and he just wants Louis to stop this.

He doesn't get very far into the dancefloor when he sees Louis and that random guy grinding, he's three seconds away from about to go over there and probably punch the guy in the face, when Louis looks over his shoulder to see Harry and they instantly lock eyes.

Harry freezes in the spot while Louis stares him down, he isn't sure on what's happening, but the stranger is still kissing along Louis jaw and Harry's heart twists when one of the strangers hands cups Louis cheek to turn his face towards him. Harry watches Louis carefully, watches how Louis stares at Harry for a beat longer before he's turning his head and connecting his lips with the strangers.

That's the exact moment in time Harry can feel his heart break into two, his knees go weak and their are burning tears building up behind his eyes.

He fucking knew that what he and Louis had was too bloody good to be true, he knew he never deserved all the good things he was getting. He should of listened to that stupid voice that told him not to get his hopes up so soon, that all the good he had would soon enough come crashing down.

Harry can feel the first tear slip down his cheek as he pushes his way out of the dance floor, and out of the club door itself before he's flinged into the fresh air. He turns his back to the line of people still waiting to get in and walks off fast down the pathway.

The downfall that Harry had been so scared of since the very start, hurt more than he had thought it would. There was no denying it now that Harry was in love with Louis, but knowing that Louis didn't feel even the slightest bit the same to him completely destroyed him. His heart feels like it's torn itself into two, and his whole body has gone numb. He's walking, not sure exactly where he's going since he's never been here before, as the tears are streaming down his face before he wraps his arms around himself.

This isn't some romance movie - Louis doesn't come out of the club in a frantic look for Harry, he doesn't chase him down the street yelling out his name or apologising for what he did before he confesses his love to Harry. This isn't a cliche love for Harry, this is the real life, and the real life hurts. Harry keeps walking, feeling his heart break at every step he takes which Louis doesn't come out of the club to find him.

The voice in Harry's head, that he had come to ignore, is louder then ever before,it keeps telling him over and over that he had told him so, that these things were too good to be true.

The downfall came, and Harry isn't sure if he wants to pick himself back up after this.


	13. Chapter Thirteen.

There had been this song by Ed Sheeran that Harry had always loved, every time he would listen to it, he would close his eyes, relax to the sound of Ed's voice and be carried away too somewhere that wasn't here. There was always this one part in the song, that Harry never quite understood what it meant. The part itself repeated a couple of times in the song, but it was only up until now that Harry understood exactly what it had meant.

**_'Mustn’t get our feet wet,_ **   
**_'Cause that leads to regret,_ **   
**_Diving in too soon.'_ **

Harry now understands what Ed had been singing about all along, since Harry himself did exactly that. Harry had jumped in too soon with Louis, his feelings for Louis came too soon and too strong that it only ever lead Harry to misery in the end. Harry now knows he fell way too soon for Louis, and now just like Ed would sing; it's only led to regret.

He regrets so much that he opened himself up to Louis so quickly, letting Louis in on most of his dark secrets, the horrors of his life and everything that he had gone through. He regrets ever trusting the boy so soon with everything, he regrets letting him into not only his, but his own daughters life. Lastly he just regrets everything that's he's ever done with Louis, because now when the light has faded he's left alone with nothing to show of his love.

It's now been two months since the faithful pub incident, two months since Louis had locked his eyes with Harry right before kissing a complete and utter stranger. It's been two whole months since Harry had seen any sign of Louis - they may live right across from one another, but Harry had not seen him even once in the two months that have passed.

It's been two months of his daughter constantly asking where Louis is, it's been two months of Harry silently crying himself to sleep every night over what happened so he doesn't wake his daughter up. It's been two months since Harry felt what it was like too have a proper heartbeat.

He spends his days now, just how he used to spend them before he even met Niall.

He goes to his work after dropping his daughter off and when the day is over, he picks her up before he comes straight home. He doesn't find himself going out with Zayn and Liam anymore, he even got himself rostered so he didn't work at the same time as Zayn. He wont even accept any of Niall's invites to come out. Harry knows it's not their fault on what had happened, though he can just never bring himself to text back a reply to agree to hang out. So he never pushes himself too do so, and soon enough before he knows it, the texts from the boys stop coming in and Harry is back to how he used to be - back to it just being him, his daughter and Margret.

Despite all of that, he still talks to his mum though, at least once a day he'll give her a call, but he'll never tell her what had happened between him and all of the boys. So when ever she would even mention Louis or the lads, Harry would find a way to make up some excuse too end the call.

Most lonely nights now Harry will lay himself down on the couch, his daughter will be sleeping peacefully in his bed, and he will just think to himself about why he was so sad over all of this. He had already known a downfall was going to come, so he assumes that he just put all of his hopes up of it to all work out in the end for him, only it just didn't happen at all.

It's kind of pathetic now, to the way that Harry's fallen back into his old habbits, because he knows that it could all change. All he would have too do, is just send a simple message to one of the boys, and he would have himself someone to hang out with again. Except, he just can't bring himself too do it, he isn't completely sure onto why though, but when ever he thinks about doing that he just gets a huge wave of sadness wash over him so he opts out on not doing it.

He guesses the truly saddest thing to come out of all of this, is not just the kiss that happened at the pub, but the fact that Harry just knows Louis is now seeing someone. The way he found it out was all thanks to bloody Facebook. Harry had not seen Louis at all for the past two months in person, but he's definetly seen him all over his Facebook. It feels like the time he and Louis had spent together was just out of plain pity - he was just a single father who easily trusted people and Louis took advantage of just that.

He can't even find it in himself to be mad at the person Louis is now with, the guy himself is completely gorgeous - it was the one Louis had kissed at the pub. It's not like he knew anything about his and Louis history, so Harry really can't hate him for that. He doesn't even hate Louis for what had happened, he just hates himself for it. He hates himself for everything that's happened, for how he fell headfirst in love with Louis and broke himself into pieces because Louis just wasn't there to catch him. He fell head first and Louis just took a step back. He hates himself for opening up widely to Louis, showing him his wounds and letting Louis pour salt onto them.

Harry hates to admit to it, because he knows it's the worst thing too do, but lately his daughter has been spending more time at Margret's, because Harry can't control his drinking anymore. He remembers when he first had Staysha, how he started drinking all the time from it, that it got to the point where it was starting to effect Staysha every time she would see her dad in that type of state. She had been the reason back then to why he stopped drinking everyday, but now he's fallen back into that routine, and he hates it more and more everyday.

He'll tell Margret that he won't want Staysha for the night, before he'll lock himself in his bathroom with a bottle of vodka or any drink he brings home from work and will drink it straight. It never took Harry that long to get drunk before he'd pass out in the bathroom on the floor. Empty bottle in his hand, and dry tears staining his face. He's no better at work either, more than once Ben has told him to go home because he wasn't thinking straight, or entirely sober enough to be working.

It's kind of amazing in a sarcastic way too how what Louis had done, is affecting Harry in such a negative way. He's lead him to drink again, getting himself close to losing his job and disconnecting him from his own daughter. But it's, it's not even entirely Louis fault, Harry can stop this, all of this. He knows he can, but yet when he picks up the phone to dial Niall, Liam or Zayn's number, he can never hit the call button.

Slowly the days creep by, and soon enough Harry finds out that Louis is back - or maybe he was back all of this time and he was just ignoring Harry. He only found out Louis was here when he came home clearly drunk again, Harry had decided to go out to a small pub after work and get completely smashed instead of at home this time. He was stumbling his way down the hallway to his apartment, Staysha was at Margret's like usual and Louis was standing by his apartment door.

Harry couldn't see straight, his vision was blurring into one and his eyes were dropping heavily. When he managed to look at Louis, he swore he could see two Louis standing at his door, and when Louis locked his eyes with him Harry forced himself too look away. He drunkly unlocked his door, fumbling a bit but before he got the chance to open the door and walk in, he felt a soft hand on his arm, following by with a soft voice whispering "Harry."

He had quickly looked to his left to see Louis standing with a soft sad look on his face, and Harry felt deathly sick in his stomach. His lips formed a straight line and he shook his head furiously, wrenching the door open hard.

"No." Was all Harry had managed too get out before he slammed the door closed behind him.

-/

"Daddy, are you okay?"

He doesn't know how to answer his daughters question honestly, he's sitting on the ground in the lounge room, his back is up against the wall and his knees to his chest. He's not entirely sober at the moment, the drinks he had earlier are now slowly wearing off, and his daughters simple question is stuck on a loop in his head.

He isn't okay, he's not as okay as he wishes he could be. He's numb, he's ruined and he's literally broken down to such small pieces. He didn't think what happened between him and Louis would hurt this fucking bad, it's coming up too almost three months now and Harry is not anywhere near being okay.

"Is it Louis?" He looks up at her this time.

She's beautiful, standing near Harry in a rainbow dress his mum sent her not long after visiting Harry. Her hair is curling around her shoulders, and she has her small hands clasped in front of her, a pout resting on her face.

She's stunning.

He looks down at his knees, not answering her. Before he closes his eyes, letting out a deep sigh.

He hears Staysha start to move around, soon he's feeling his arms being pulled away, his legs fall down and than Staysha is on his lap, her small arms are wrapping around his body the best she can as she squeezes him tightly. Her head is resting on Harry's chest, and it doesn't take long but he can feel his shirt starting to soak a little bit from water, and he knows his daughter is definietly crying against him. It sets Harry off, and his arms automatically wrap around Staysha, as he hugs her tightly against him.

"I love you Daddy." She says through sobs, and Harry lets his crying start at that, holding her more tightly against himself.

-/

It's exactly a week later when Harry gets a visitor.

He's surprisngy actually sober this time around when there's a knock at his door, but now he kind of wishes he had at least one or two drinks in him before he answered the door.

Niall's standing on the other side of the door, his arms are folded tightly over his chest, and he has as pair of black jeans on and a normal worn out white t-shirt on as well. He has an eyebrow highly raised, with an unimpressed look on written all over his face when Harry finally manages too make eye contact with him.

Niall doesn't even say anything at the moment, instead he just roughly pushes past Harry and makes his own way into his apartment. He gets as far as to the kitchen area, before he turns around to shoot a glare at Harry.

"Where's Staysha?" Niall questions looking around the house, his voice is stern and oh so cold.

Harry bites his lower lip, closing his door before turning to look over at Niall, a chill rushing through his body at the tone of the irishmans voice.

"She's at Margret's." He says adverting his eyes from Niall and lowering his voice a tiny bit.

"For bloody fucks sake Harry! What the heck has happened to ya? This fucking place reeks of booze, smells just like an Irish pub, which it bloody shouldn't! You look like a complete bloody mess and it's been nearly 3 freaking months since I fucking last saw you! All I remember is you leaving the stupid pub we all went out to for some reason, and that was the last I saw fucking of you. The last any of us saw you matter of fact! What the heck did we all do for you too just go cold bloody turkey on us mate?" Niall starts, he's dropped his arms to his side now, the stern look on his face has softened along with his voice tone and Harry feels his heart ache.

Niall just seems so, so tired and distressed from all of this. Harry can't find anyway too blame Niall for any of this.

"I'm so in love with Louis."

He knows that doesn't answer any of Niall's questions exactly, but it was the only thing that was swimming around inside Harry's head, and when he went and opened his mouth to speak, that's all that managed to come out.

"What?" Niall catechises.

"I love Louis." Harry divulges.

Niall looks compeltely confounded by Harry's statement, though very slowly Harry sees the realisation start too sink in on Niall before sadness takes over his face, and Harry has to look down at his feet at this. He can't stand the look on Niall's face, he knows he'll end up crying in front of Niall if he continues too stare at him, besides he's done enough crying already. He doesn't think his body could handle any more.

"I love Louis, and he competely ruined me." Harry says, his voice stuttering a tiny bit.

"He built me up so high, so bloody high, and now, now I'm falling Niall, and it's such a long fucking way down too the bottom when you've been built up too the top." Harry spits out shaking his head. "He gave me everything I ever needed in my life, he gave me the confidence I seeked in others, strength I needed for myself and my daughter, he showed me that it was okay to let people into my life, he showed me what it was like to have feelings for someone once again. Too open fully up, too trust. He taught me too defend myself, and not care about what others thought. He gave me everything I needed, and I gave him everything back, but than he, threw it all away. Fuck, I never even told him I liked him, but I'm so sure he knew I liked him more than a friend. I have always been such a bad liar, he would've just known by the way I looked at him." Harry stops to breath, and he lets a long deep sigh out shaking his head.

"Then he just, at the pub we all went too, threw himself at the first stranger, that would have him and now apparently they're fucking dating? Like, did Louis even know that guy for long before jumping into a relationship with him? Did he? Because he knew me, he was there for me when I needed someone, and I was there for him, he watched me practically fall in love with him right in front of his own eyes, and than he went and did this... Was I just not good enough for him that he needed a random stranger?"

Harry didn't expect Niall to say anything after everything that had just come out, and he was right about it. Niall just stood there speechless, the sadness still increasing on his face as he took in every little word Harry had just said.

Harry knows there's tears flowing freely down his cheeks, even though he really didn't want to cry anymore, he just couldn't handle this, he wasn't good enough for Louis. Louis would rather go out with someone completely random, instead of going out with the one guy who way always there, the one guy who loved him and would of done anything for him.

"I guess, it's true what they always say." Harry says, wiping at his cheeks.

"It's inevitable that everything that's good comes to an end."


	14. Chapter Fourteen.

Stashed away in the very back of Harry's underwear drawer, was a journal he's had since he was ten years old. He only had it too just draw random scribbles in it, though as he got older he started to write down his feelings when he didn't know how to voice them out loud. He knew diaries and the whole writing down feelings things, were mainly just meant for girls, but Harry had never really cared about the gender norms. He used to hold a lot of it in and his Journal soon became his save haven.

The last time he had actuallty touched the book, was not too long after Staysha had been born, he had wrote down how he wished for someday far in the future, for his life to get better then how it was. So now, as he reads over what his eighteen year old self wrote, his heart aches for how sad he really was as a teenager, and how much he just let himself down.

Because at one point in time, Harry did have it all that his younger self was asking for, even though it was only for a little bit - he had the happiness his eighteen year old self wanted, and he had things figured out with his daughter and his life, he even had his mother back who he used to cry about wanting.

Harry laments to himself slowly as he opens up to a fresh new page.

There's been words stuck in his head forming a small type of song, and he knows he needs to get them out and written down onto paper. It's the first time in years, Harry has thought about songwriting again. He used to love making up random songs when he was younger, dreamed of being big and famous like most people tend toon do, but he soon lost the passion with it when he got more into Law at school. He soon had the big dreams of being a lawyer, and now that Staysha was around, Harry doesn't think he'll ever get back into it, his daughter now comes first in everything.

He grabs a pen off the kitchen bench from where he's sitting, once again Staysha was at Margret's, and he starts to write down everything that comes to his mind.

_**"Same lips red, same eyes blue,** _   
_**Same white shirt, couple more tattoos,** _   
_**But it's not you and it's not me,** _   
_**Tastes so sweet, looks so real,** _   
_**Sounds like something that I used to feel,** _   
_**But I can't touch what I see,"** _

Harry's brain keeps working, he's biting his lower lip hard as he scribbles everything down thats coming to mind, and before he even knows it he's gotten a verse, chorus and a part of a second verse already done.

**_"We're not who we used to be,_ **   
**_We're not who we used to be,_ **   
**_We're just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me,_ **   
**_Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat,_ **

**_The fridge light washes this room white,_ **   
**_Moon dances over your good side,_ **   
**_This was all we used to need.."_ **

It takes Harry an hour and a bit, before he finally finishes what he now classifies as a song, as he slowly reads over the lyrics. He frowns to himself at the lyics, at how heartbreaking it really sounds. And the saddest thing is the inspiration for this song was Louis, these were his feelings he had for Louis, how he's feeling now, and he's just let it all out on paper.

So it's no surprise that Harry hangs his head, and starts to cry.

He's been crying a lot lately.

-/

Harry hundered percent blames Niall for the problem he's got himself stuck in at the moment.

Somewhere between drinking at home, and going to work not entirely sober Niall managed to squeeze his way back into Harry's life once again, but this time it was him who had taken him out to a pub. He was thankful though that it was just him and Niall out, but he wasn't happy at all with the intentions Niall had for Harry that night.

Ever since he had confessed everything to Niall, he's been hearing constant shouting from Niall's apartment. And he just knows, that Niall is arguing with Louis, he doesn't know exactly what they are arguing about, he always manages too come in halfway through their arguments and has no idea what they're based around. A small part of Harry, the selfish part would like to think it's because of him, but he doesn't put his hopes up on that, he doesn't put them up on anything anymore.

Niall wanted to be the one too help Harry move on, too find someone who isn't Louis or anything like Louis, which is why he's the one who dragged him to this pub. It's not the fancy one they all went to, he doesn't think Niall will ever take him back too that one and it's not the one he works at. Instead, it's just a small dingy pub about ten minutes away from them, filled up to the brim with people dancing or drinking. There aren't any private booths or really any normal ones in this one, it's kind of just feels like a big dance floor instead.

Him and Niall were smack bam straight in the middle of the dance floor pressed closed together from the other bodies occupying the floor. If this had happened nearly over half a year ago, Harry would've died to be this close to Niall with the feelings he used too have for him. Although now that they're pressed up against each other, from how crowded this place really is, Harry kind of wishes he was anywhere but here.

"There's a guy checking you out." Niall speaks up, his voice is loud over the music for Harry to be able too hear him. "So 'm gonna walk away. Tonight is about you, just, forget Louis." Niall says, and then he's gone like that, slipping between the bodies and out of Harry's site.

So that brings it back too why Harry is blaming Niall for the dilemma he's stuck in.

Niall had been completely right about the guy checking him out, and the lad had made his way over to him the second Niall disappeared. He wasn't bad looking so too speak, he had nice kind brown eyes, a small petite body and light sandy blonde coloured hair. But he wasn't Louis, and Harry knows this isn't what Niall had wanted, for Harry too compare people to Louis, because obviously no one here is him. Niall wanted him to forget Louis, even if it was just for the night.

But, Harry couldn't do that.

So when the boy had started dancing against him, moving Harry's hands to hold his hips, all he was thinking about was that his hips were too narrow and nowhere curvy like Louis. Then when he rocked his arse back against Harry's crotch, all he could think about was Louis smile and the way his lips tasted. When the stranger turned around too kiss along Harry's neck, Harry had moaned out a small 'Louis' that the stranger heard, and pulled himself away from Harry.

He looked at him with a raised eyebrow, before huffing and walking off, so Harry knew he was the blame for that one. Though he will still be pinning all of this onto Niall, it was his fault he was at this pub in the first place, it was his fault he he did this to a stranger.

Harry ends up doing what he last did when he went to the pub with Niall, kind of like history repeating itself and he was walking out of the pub without telling him he was leaving. He would definietly text him this time when he got home, but right now, he couldn't do this and he just needed to leave. It was a very bad mistake for him to come to the pub, there was no way Harry would be even remotely over Louis yet, he doesn't even know if he ever will get over him.

"You alright? Looks like you've just embarrassed yourself on the dance floor." Harry hears someone speak, he snaps himself out of his trance to look over at who spoke to him.

It's a guy leaning against he pub wall dressed in denim jeans and a black fitted shirt. He has short black hair, but Harry can't see his eye colour in the darkness.

"Could say that." Harry shrugs, looking at the lad.

"Happens to us all, same reason I'm out here." The guy laughs.

"I said the wrong name to a guy who wanted to suck my dick, he got really mad at me and stormed off, so I just came out to have a smoke." The guy grins sheepishly at Harry.

"I'm.. Actually in the same." Harry admits, a flush working its way up his cheeks. "A guy was kissing along my neck, and I said the wrong name." He laughs this time when he sees the stranger grin.

"Relationship problems?" He questions, Harry just shrugs.

"We were never together." Harry acquiescences.

"Ah." The guy says. "Though I'm going to assume that you and him had something going on at least?" He interrogates.

"Yeah, it was like we were dating in a way but we never actually had the talk about it. Or labelled ourselves as anything really. I fell for him, obviously, what a shocker." There's a sarcastic laugh to it. "And I had just been so certain that he felt the same way towards me, but then he goes and kisses this random stranger at a club and then proceeds to date said person." Harry murmurs rolling his eyes, ignoring the way his heart still breaks at every word he speaks.

"Do you have any thought that, maybe this guy, who ever it may be, fell for you too and then scared himself out of making the commitment to you? What if, now this is just a long stretch on my side, but maybe he thought you were the one who was too good for him, didn't deserve you, so he did what he thought was best, and that was too try and find someone else? Like, I'm guessing that's why you're here anyway, too find someone else. What if that's what he did?" Harry raises an eyebrow as he listens to the stranger.

"Okay so obviously I don't know who you are so I have no idea about you and this guys history history, like too what exactly you had, but I can tell right now that his feelings were definietly mutual to yours. You two were already practically dating like you mentioned, but both of you seemed too scared to actually admit to liking one another. Hence why you never talked about what was going on between you two. So, somewhere along the way, this guy has convinced himself that you didn't actually like him so he's gone and done this, in his own way of trying to get over you." Harry just bites his lower lip, as he lets the words sink in.

"Look at it this way, you guys were fooling around forever how long it was. And you've both fallen for one another, but yet not said anything at all to each other on that subject. Somewhere along the way of all of this, one of you were either going to say something, or try and move on if they thought they couldn't have them. And so this is what's happened, he's gone and convinced himself you didn't want him the way he wanted you, and so he's saved himself from hurting by finding someone else. But, he just hasn't realised what his actions have done to you." The stranger slowly speaks.

"This is what happens when you have miscommunication with your partner, and don't act on your guts feelings. Despite all of that thouhg, it's never too late to change how things are now." Harry locks eyes with the stranger as he speaks.

"The major think you need too do is, you need too talk to him, you need your own sort of closure on this. Get it out there in the open, tell him how you felt for him, how you still do if you do, let him know exactly what you guys could've had. And if nothing happens between you two after all of that, at least then he will now know and that will all be off your chest. It will help you move on, and start fresh when you know his answer."

"Who are you?" Is all Harry manages to ask.

"Your life saver." The guy smirks. "But you can just call me Xander."

-/

He's staring at his journal again.

He had texted Niall telling him he went home so he wouldn't freak out again and his daughter is sleeping right next to him, curled up into a little ball as Harry starts to re-read over the song he wrote while Xander's words play fresh over and over in his head.

Everything Xander had said was making sense, this is what Xander was getting at. Maybe that's exactly what happened to them, they misread each others signs which has lead them to the place they're at now. Maybe Louis didn't think Harry loved him, like how Harry was always doubting Louis ever liking him. Maybe Louis was doing what Harry was doing, and waiting for him to speak up first to be the one too confirm what they were. The one thing Xander was definietly right on though, was Harry really did need too talk to Louis.

Even in the end if nothing was to come out between him and Louis, Xander was right about Harry needing the closure for atleast himself. He needed Louis to know that he loved him, still does love him, needs him to know what he wanted all along, he just needs Louis to know, no more keeping everything in the dark. And right now, at this point in time, he doesn't even care if Louis doesn't like him, or want anything to do with him again, he just wants him to know.

He goes over his song again for the hundredth time, fixing and changing words, before he' becomes really happy with the way it turned out. He knows no one will ever see it, or hear him sing it, but he's really happy with the way that's it turned out.

He closes his journal, gently places it down on his nightstand before he gets underneath his covers. He turns his bedside lamp off, shuffles himself around until he's comfy enough then he pulls Staysha into his chest, closes his eyes and holds her tight.

He isn't sure on how he should approach Louis on with this subject, they haven't spoken to one another since the small incident in the hallway where Harry only said one word to him before slamming the door in Louis face. Maybe if he asked Niall that he needed to speak to Louis, he could arrange something for them.

He isn't quite sure on it, but he knows he'll figure something out. Louis needs to know his feelings, what happened to them, and Hardy needs to get it all off his chest.

He hugs his daughter closer to his chest, as he sighs.

A small part of him, a very tiny part, hopes that Louis still likes him, -if he ever did too begin with - and something does come out of all of this.

Harry doesn't put his hopes up on this though.


	15. Chapter Fifteen.

It took three long days for Harry to find some sort of courage to face Louis, to have the guts to actually say something to him. He wasn't necessarily scared per say of the lad, he just didn't want to come face to face with the boy Louis is dating while confessing his love for Louis.

It would just be a tiny bit awkward on both accounts if that was too happen.

So instead he finds the best alternative way in to contacting Louis, and that is too send him off a text.

He's laying down on his bed when he texts Louis, it's around 9pm and his daughter is sleeping peacefully next to him. Harry's wide awake as he opens his phone, before he pulls Louis contact up. The last messages ever sent between the both of them was the day after they had the cyber sex.

So, it's really been awhile since they've properly talked.

Harry gnaws on his bottom lip, as he tries to think of a message to send out. He could write a long paragraph explaining every little detail of his feelings, or he could send a simple hi and see if Louis will even reply to him.

He ends up doing the later, and sends a **_"Hey.."_ ** Too Louis.

His heart rate picks up the second he sees the message come up as "read" and than the three dots appear in an indication for the other persont too be typing.

**L:** _**Harry? ... Hey.** _

Harry feels like he's going to combust by the way his heart is beating so fast.

**H:** _**How're you?** _

**L:** _**Good... Little surprised to hear from u tbch** _

**H** **:** _**Didn't think you would reply to me** _

**L:** _**I'll always reply to you** _

Harry let's a heavy sigh out, closing his eyes tight as his thoughts run into overdrive. It's only platonic what Louis saying right now, he has a boyfriend, he wouldn't mean anything more then friends behind my those words.

**H: _Right.. Well, I really need to talk to you._**

**L: _Yeah? When?_**

**H: _When you're free_**

**L: _I'm free now?_**

**H: _Staysha is sleeping next to me.._**

**L: _I'll come over and we can talk in your lounge room_**

**H: _Uhm, okay.._**

**L: _Be there in 2_**

Harry doesn't know why, but he acts fast as can getting out of bed, still making sure not to wake Staysha up, before he pulls on his jeans and the closest shirt too him. Which is just a plain blue singlet, before he's going out of his room and into his lounge room. He runs his fingers through his hair, in an attempt to neaten it out the best he can, and by the time he's caught his breathe, there's a timid knock at the door.

Harry licks his lips, before he goes to his door and opens it.

Louis standing there, right infront of Harry and the first thing that he notices is that he looks so much more smaller and soft with what he's wearing then the last time Harry properly saw him. He has a pair of adidas sweatpants on and baggy jumper, his hair is ruffled and Harry ignores the faded love bite he spots on his neck. Louis softly smiles when he locks eyes with Harry.

"Uh, come in." Harry coughs into his fist, moving out of the way and letting Louis in.

Louis just keeps the small smile on his face as he nods, before he makes his own way into the house.

Harry had thought he had calmed himself down, but seeing Louis in his apartment again, looking all soft and like he belongs in this apartment with Harry, has made his heart rate pick up again and the nerves set in once again.

"So, what did you want to talk too me about?" Louis questions as he sits down on the couch, Harry slowly makes his way over to the lounge sitting next to him. But leaving enough space inbetween them that another person could fit inbetween both of them comfortably.

"Uhm." Harry has never in his life been this nervous before, his heart is accelerating the more he thinks about what he's about to confess to Louis, and his palms are sweaty when he watches the way Louis looks at him. So soft, so small, it's making Harry fall in love with him even more the longer he stares at him.

He gives Louis a half crooked smile, before he looks down at his hands, sucking in a breathe. This is it, he needs to tell Louis now, or he'll never have the chance or the guts to tell him ever again.

"I'm in love with you."

He doesn't even give Louis the chance to reply, or even have a say in anything that he's speaking before he's continuing on with his speech.

"I've been in love with you, I'm pretty sure since the moment I met you and broke your favourite glass." Harry closes his eyes, he can't look at Louis, can't see his face with what he is saying.

"You didn't like me at first, and I know you've explained why you didn't at first. And, that's okay. But then you, you we're so accepting of me and my daughter." Harry sighs.

"You slowly wedged yourself into my life, and then before I knew it, we would start too share these small kisses or make out every now and then. You would cook me dinner when I'm at work, you would tuck Staysha into bed for me and you made me fall for you." He lets another deep sigh out. "I never wanted to fall for you too be honest, but it happened. You were perfect, and you had everything I ever wanted in a partner. It's hard to explain, this is so hard, but my heart skips a beat every time I see you or even think about you. You're my last thought of the night when I close my eyes and you are the first thought I think of when I wake up. Fuck, you even went and found my mother for me." Harry still hasn't dared to look at Louis.

"There had been so many times where I wanted to tell you that I loved you, but I always got too scared and backed myself out from doing it. Because I didn't want, what we had going on too ever end. But, well, it looks like it did come to an end after all. That night at the pub, you didn't even want to talk to me at all. You found ways to avoid me, and I didn't even know what I did wrong for you too do that. Was it because I had dyed my hair back to brown? I don't know." He doesn't stop to let Louis answer. "But, you kissed someone else. You kissed someone else and you did it after looking straight into my eyes, and that, that alone shattered me. I loved, scratch that, I still love you so much but then you did that. I know, I have no right to say that because we were never dating at that time, but it still hurt me."

"But it only got worse from there, I found out through bloody Facebook you were dating him, and then I didn't know what to do. I was lost for everything, I started to doubt myself, because I thought you may of liked me, and then you go and date a random stranger. And I just felt that, I wasn't good enough for you? Like I wasn't enough, maybe I had too much baggage with my daughter and my own issues, that you just wanted someone new and fresh who didn't carry what I had? I'm not sure, I'm never sure when it comes too this. I tried to find someone else like you did, a couple days ago I went out to a pub with Niall to find someone." Harry stops to take a quick breathe, still looking down at his hands. "Someone danced against me, they kissed my neck and I moaned your name."

Harry can hear how the the air thickens at that, but he continues on.

"So they left, and then I left the pub. But in a weird way, I guess I did meet someone. I met someone outside of the pub called Xander, he listened to me talk about you and about how in love I was with you and then he gave me advice, which I listened too and am now doing."

"He told me, to tell you everything. So that I could get some sort of closure. He said, that even if you didn't feel the same it will still feel good if I got it all off my chest and told you." There's a pause, and Harry glances up too look at Louis.

He's staring at Harry, his eyes are glossy and his bottom lip is wobbling a tiny bit, and Harry has too refrain himself from leaning over to kiss Louis. Instead, he just looks back down at his hands.

"So, that's what I'm doing right now while I have the courage too do so. I love you Louis William Tomlinson. I'm in love with you, and I'm pretty sure my daughter loves you too. I love how you were patient with me, how you didn't give a fuck about what anyone thought of you, how you defended me if someone said or looked at me the wrong way. I love how when you kiss me, you'd smile halfway through it. I love how you used to make me dinner and play with Staysha, I love everything about you. Your smile, your eyes, your voice, your laugh. I love the way you hug, and how you laugh at my stupid jokes even if they aren't funny. I just, I love you."

Harry finally finishes his rant, and he closes his eyes, counts to ten, and then turns to look at Louis.

Louis looking straight ahead from Harry, and he can see tears down Louis cheeks. But he doesn't reach out to wipe them away, not sure if he's allowed to. So instead he stays sitting quietly, and let's Louis take in everything Harry just said.

It's about five minutes later, when Louis finally sighs and turns to look at Harry.

"Harry.." Louis starts, his voice soft and on the edge of breaking.

Harry bites his lower lip as Louis starts to speak.

"You know, it's kind of funny because I waited so long to hear from you to say something like that to me.. And if you had of told me all of this a couple of months ago, things would have been completely different right now between us.. I loved you too, but, I for some reason never thought that, you would've liked me too. So, I got upset a lot over it, maybe I was depressed at one point, who knows. Because you were everything to me as well." Louis starts, and Harry knows this is going to end bad, he can feel it in his bones, yet he still listens.

"So that night when we all went out, I didn't talk to you because I was so convinced you didn't love me, and than I, I needed to prove to myself that you didn't. So I made sure to make eye contact with you before kissing that boy. And then; when I looked back, you were gone. And so I just, assumed you left because you didn't love me. I thought that, if you did love me you would've come over, snatched me away from that guy and kissed me. But, you didn't.." Harry's heart is breaking at every word Louis is saying.

"That guy, I got his number for such a foolish reason. But, then he turned out to be more then just a reason to get over you, he helped me through it, like my feelings for you and the depression I might've had. Soon it then turned out that me and him needed each other a lot more than we both thought we did. Now, if you had of talked to me about this before well, we went to the pub, I would never have gone for this guy. But, since that never happened, me and him are now, well, in a committed relationship." Harry wishes this wasn't happening, wishing this was just some sick twisted dream.

"I'm not in any way saying that I stopped loving you, because I haven't. I'm still so in love with you. But now there's him who helped me when I needed it, and is now showing me how to love another person.. Harry, I'm so sorry."

It's quiet between the both of them as Louis speaks, and Harry let's every word sink in. He didn't know it was possible for a heart to break so many times, but now it feels as though it's shattered and laying at the bottom of his stomach.

What was he even thinking? Did he really think he could confess his love for Louis, and have Louis say he returns the feelings and then they would be all good and get together? Why did he think for even a moment, he could have a fairy tail ending. Get the guy he loves, and live happily ever after?

Reality has forced him to believe what is real, and what is not. And Harry has come to learn, just because he loves someone, will not make them love him. Of course, Louis had said that he loves Harry, but, he is no longer in love with Harry the way Harry is with him. Because now, Louis is starting to fall for this other guy, who isn't Harry, and that.. Sucks.

He doesn't say anything to Louis straight away,he just nods slowly blinking the tears back before standing himself up. He takes in short breathes, willing himself not to cry as he looks at Louis.

"Well, since that's all said and done. I guess you can leave now." Harry says before he turns his back to Louis.

Louis doesn't say anything, instead Harry hears him stand up and walk away. The front door opens, and when it closes Harry drops to his knees and starts crying.

If only he could go back in time and tell Louis his feelings, if he had of just manned up back then and told him, things would be all different, Louis would be his and he'd be happy. But instead he never did that, he never spoke up and now he has too live with the consequences.

Louis is with someone else, loving them, and Harry?

Well, once again, Harry is back to being alone and he fears he'll be this way for the rest of his life.

 


	16. Chapter Sixteen.

_**Six Months Later.** _

December has rolled around smoothly, the streets are filled up with Christmas lights along with couple inches of snow, children are playing everywhere you looks, couple are kissing under the mistletoe's and Harry found out over Facebook that Louis and Jake have broken up.

Harry isn't sure on the story behind what happened with them, he doesn't have Jake on Facebook so he can't see his statuses, but he has Louis on it. So going by the status Louis has put up, something really bad happened between the pair.

Harry shouldn't feel as happy as he does knowing that Louis and Jake have broken up, but he really can't help it. It's been six long months since he confessed his love to Louis and got kicked out into the cold from him. It's been six deadly months of awkwardly seeing Louis when he leaves the apartment and seeing his boyfriend. It's been six months of Harry growing even close with Niall, while Niall and Louis continued to argue more often. Though they're still living together and they still are friends, they kind of fight like a married couple would do. Though Harry now knows that they argue over him, about how stupid they were for not admitting their feelings to each other before everything happened. Niall has argued with Harry too as well over the subject, but it's always been Louis who got it the most.

So yeah, it's been a long six months, but in the end Harry is still in love with Louis as much as he was six months prior. Most of the time he really wishes he wasn't still in love with Louis, but he can't help what his stupid heart feels. So that's probably why he feels happy to see that Louis is single again, he isn't saying that they're going too magically get together or anything like that, Harry gave up on the fairytail ending awhile ago. Hell they haven't even talked properly in the past six months, but there's still just the little bit of a chance that they would start speaking again and maybe this time, this time they would get it right.

Harry finds out two days later that Louis birthday is placed on Christmase Eve from Niall, Niall explains that every year on Louis birthday he throws him a party and invites just about everyone they both know. It's always a large party they host, and usually heaps of people show up. Although this time, since they now live in a smaller apartment Niall had said that they were going to rent out a Hall and have the party there. Harry was invited, not by Louis, but through Niall.

At first, Harry wasn't going to go, because he didn't know where him and Louis exactly stood and he didn't even know if Louis would have even wanted him there, but after awhile of Niall assuring him that it would be competely fine, he had agreed to go to the party.

So when the day had finally arrived on Christmas Eve, It was pretty difficult for Harry to get someone to look after Staysha, since Margret went away for Christmas too see her old friends and obviously Niall couldn't do it. It was only luck that he did find someone too look after her, it was one of Niall's most trusted mates who offered to look after her and Harry was very thankful for him to be doing that. He had promised him that he would be back before midnight, so the boy could go home and spend Christmas with who ever he was staying with.

Harry was dressed up - since he kind of found out at last minute Louis likes to have dress up themed parties - in his last minute costume, it was just a Captain Hook outfit he found at a thrift shop.

The Hall Niall had rented was a five minute walk away from their apartment, so he just walked it and ignored the way people stared at him. He had a party to attended, hence the outfit people, and by the time he arrived to the Hall he realised he didn't even have a present for Louis. He groans, before sighing. If Louis doesn't see him tonight he'll be alright with not bringing a present for him. Anyway, it's not like Louis really deserved one anyway, after these past six months.

It took all of five minutes of being in the party for Niall to find him through the crows, the Irish lad was dressed in a maids costume and it made Harry's eyes widen when Niall just grinned at him. "Don't I look beautiful." He had said, while laughing and taking a swig of his beer.

"You look fantastic." Harry grinned back shaking his head.

"T'was a dare from Louis to wear this, he thought I wouldn't do it. Well I showed him, now he owes me fifty bucks. Love your costume though!" Harry can tell Niall is drunk by the way he's stumbling over his words and laughing halfway through his sentences, it makes Harry kind of wish he was drunk as well.

He cut back majorly on his drinking over the six months, it took him a bit to realise getting drunk every night wasn't going to help him or solve any of his problems. It was putting a strain on him and his daughters relationship terribly, and he couldn't take it anymore. So he gave up drinking for spending more time with Staysha, and he loves that more. If there's anything that can get him through the day, it's his beautiful little girl.

"Where is Louis?" Harry dares asks, and he watches as Niall raises his eyebrow before he pauses in mid sentence.

Harry wasn't even paying any attention to what Niall had been saying anyway.

"Last I saw he was..." Niall glances around the place, before sighing. "He was on the dance floor, so he could still be there or he could be wondering around. Don't really know." Niall shrugs and Harry just nods.

"Alright, did Zayn and Liam show up?" He decides to change the subject.

"They did, yes! They're over by the food table. Go find them, and look at their costumes!" Niall grins, he pats Harry's back before he's disappearing off into the dance floor and Harry takes Niall's advice to go look for Zayn and Liam.

Niall had been right, they were both at the food table and Harry grins widely at the costumes they were wearing.

Because, of course they would have matching costumes.

Liam was dressed as Batman, and Zayn was done as the joker. It was hilariously cute for them, it was hard for Harry too keep the smug smile off his face when he walked up to both of them. Standing in between both boys, he wraps his arms around there shoulders.

"Batman, Joker, what a coincidence seeing you two together." Harry puts on his best Pirate accent and he hears the way Liam and Zayn both laugh.

"Ah, Captain Hook." Liam grins turning to face Harry, once Harry drops his hands from the boys.

"Come to plunder our booties?" Zayn jokes and Harry cracks up laughing at it.

"Totally mate." Harry smirks, before he simply smiles. "Nah, just come around too say hi, ask how you've been?"

"You saw me two days ago at work." Zayn points out, a small smile on his face. During the six months, Harry got Ben to put his roster back to match Zayns. Both him and Liam had a sit down awhile ago where Harry told them everything that had happened too cause him to cut them out. They both understood and held nothing against him for it.

"And I gave you a massage last week." Liam adds on with a laugh.

"Still, you're my mates, missed you guys, wanna know how you are." Harry shrugs.

Liam smiles while Zayn shakes his head laughing.

-/

It's about maybe two hours later Harry actually sees Louis for the first time the entire night, and Harry doesn't even know how he didn't see Louis at all before.

The boy himself was dressed as Peter Pan - ironic Harry knows, with him being as Captain Hook - he had these super tight green tights on, and the green shirt Peter Pan wears with the hat on his head, and the large red feather sticking out.

How Harry had missed him before with that costume, he doesn't know.

Louis was leaning against aa wall, a drink was in his hand, observing the large crowd. Harry himself was mixed in the crowd of dancers, and really their was a lot of people at this party, Niall and Louis must really know a lot of people. Though through all the bodies here, he keeps staring at Louis.

Harry knows that the things between them weren't any good. But, in the end, it was really both their faults on how things played out in the end. Neither one of them said anything about liking each other, neither one of them acted the way they should've acted. They were both in the blame, and it took awhile for Harry to realise that, it wasn't all his fault, not how Louis had made it out too be. Louis was in this the same way Harry was in it, and there was no other explination for it.

He knows he shouldn't give Louis another chance, not after the way he repeatedly broke Harry's heart, he gave the lad so many chances, and it always ended the same. But despite that he was raised to find only the good in people, and love them for that and accept their flaws. So Harry knows Louis is capable of so much more then what had happened between them. Because if what he said is true, Harry is so sure Louis would still love him now the way Harry loves him.

So Harry makes his way through the crowd, and slowly makes his way to where Louis is perched. Louis doesn't notice when Harry slides up against him righgt away, and Harry lets a sigh out before he knocks his shoulder against Louis and Louis huffs turning to look at him.

"Harry?" Louis says, and Harry crouches down a bit to hear Louis properly.

"It's me." Harry says. "Can we go somewhere else? I think we might need to have another talk." Harry admits, biting his lower lip.

Louis looks as if he's going to say something, contemplating things in his mind before he just sighs and nods, agreeing to Harry before he grabs his arm and leads him out of the crowded Hall. They take the fire exit out of the Hall, and end up at the back of the building under the night sky.

It's snowing a tiny bit, not enough to be freezing cold, but enough for Harry to feel the light flakes touching his skin.

"I saw that you and Jake broke up, and I just wanted too know, are you okay?" Harry starts off, and Louis looks at him with a soft look. So similar to the one he gave Harry when they had that talk six months ago.

"I made such a horrible mistake, I thought that I loved him." Louis says, casting his eyes down. "I thought he loved me." Louis whispers as well. "I should've picked you Harry, and it sounds so fucking stupid when I say it like that, it's horribly worded, but fuck me, I didn't know what I had until I lost it. And I lost you Harry, because of my stupid fucking ways and my own mind."

Harry's eyes widen at what Louis is saying, because this, this wasn't at all what he was expecting when he wanted too talk to Louis.

"He cheated on me, multiple times, he had been cheating on me ever since we first got together. Except he played these mind games with me, he twisted my thoughts and made me believe he loved me and that I loved him. He told me these bullshit stories to make me feel sorry for him, so he could get me, he would play the role of a victim too get underneath my skin. He used me and he abused me, not physically - he never laid a hand on me - but mentally, he fucked me up mentally. And it took me ages Harry, to realise that all I had to have done was tell you, you were all I wanted those six months ago. I should've went with you, and not back to him." Louis admits quietly. "I blamed it all on you because he was already under my skin by then, and I can not even form any words to say how sorry I am for that. You did not deserve any of what I said too you that night, you didn't deserve too walk away thinking it was all your fault when it was more so mine then anything else." He adds on with a silent sniffle.

"I fucking love you, so much Harry, I never stopped doing it, don't think I ever will stop to be honest. And I'm so, fucking sorry for everything I have put you through.

I've broken your heart too many times too count, I've hurt you so bad, more so then anyone ever should be hurt and I messed you up just as bad as well. I know that no matter how many amount of times I apologies too you, it will never make up for what I did to you. I know, that I don't deserve another chance from you. You would be so stupid to take me back after all I did. But, fuck, Jake was the worst thing to happen to me. I gave up a Dimond for a rock, and I love you so fucking much. I was so in love with you before I got with Jake and while I was with him. When you admitted your feelings to me, it was everything I wanted to hear.. But I got so scared, because I had Jake and I thought what me and him had was something I wanted.. But fuck, what I wanted was you, it was always you. But I was such a fucking twat to realise it, and I'm so fucking sorry. I love you so fucking much." Louis says, and he's crying, he's not holding it back anymore and Harry's heart is beating fast as he takes in everything Louis saying.

"We were both in the wrong for this Louis, it wasn't just you and it wasn't just me. It was both of us." Harry isn't sure where this is going, but he's going to say everything that's on his mind and hope it all makes sense in the end. "We both thought one of us didn't like the other, so we both acted on it by not doing anything. Well, we both did stuff that were bad for use in the end, like you found someone else and for me, it was picking my drinking back up. But, really we were both in the wrong of this and all it would've taken is for just one of us to have said something and like you said months ago, things would've been different for us." Harry let's a deep sigh out.

"I'm so sorry, for the way he treated you and made you feel. No one deserves to go through what you went through, that is more horrible then if I was too say what happened with us. If I ever see him by any chance, I'm not a violent person mind you, but if I ever see him I promise you I'll knock him the fuck out for what he did to you." Harry says looking Louis directly in the eye.

"But also by saying that, I'm not going to forgive you straight away either. You have broken my heart, many times, you've shattered it, stomped on it and when I thought it couldn't get worse you tore it out in front of my and ripped it too pieces. But, you've also put it together once when I thought there was no fixing it and I know, that over time, you could do that again. Along with in time, I could do the same for you, fix what he destroyed. So I'm not going to jump into a relationship with you straight away though, since I know that's what you mean by another chance, because I don't think any of us are exactly ready for that. But, if we go back to how we were before any of this happened, back too the start and fall in love properly like how we were supposed too do all along. I think, things will turn out too be better this time around."

Louis looking at Harry with such a small happy smile on his face, his eyes are twinkling like the night sky is and the snow falling around them, makes Louis look like a porcelain doll in the moonlight. Harry is still so in love with this boy, but he knows that he can't forgive him straight away, not yet, his heart wouldn't be able too handle it.

"So what does this mean for us now? Like, right here in this point in time?" Louis whispers and Harry takes a step forward.

"How about this, how about you just shut up and kiss me, you fool." Harry whispers, and Louis grins.

He leans up too wrap one arm around Harry's neck, his other cupping along Harry's jaw line and Harry's own hands wrap around Louis waist as their lips connect in the middle for a kiss.

Harry's missed the way Louis lips had felt against his own, missed the taste of home and how just a simple kiss from the smaller lad can calm all of Harry's nerves down in one go. He's missed the way that Louis will smile against his lips when they kiss and how their tongues will slowly brush against each other when tasting each other's mouth.

Harry knows that they can't jump straight into dating again, or anything along the lines of that. Not straight away anyway, because they still have so much to work on at first. They first need to work on their communication again, and Harry needs to work his way up to forgiving Louis properly and allowing himself to completely love and trust Louis once more.

So, they're a long way from being together or for perfect. But despite all of that being said, like Harry's mother always used to tell him when he was growing up, if you truly love someone, you'll be willing to fight to make things right.


	17. Chapter Seventeen.

"So, I want you too tell me what exactly happened between you and Jake."

It's been exactly four months since Louis birthday party, four months since he and Louis decided to try and make what they had work again.

They went home together on Christmas Eve, and spent the Christmas Day together. Staysha was over the moon happy to have Louis back over and into their lives again, and Harry could tell it was one of the best Christmases she's ever had. They started the day off, opening their presents, which was mainly Staysha opening hers, and Harry and Louis watching with adoration berfore they decided to bake some Christmas themed cookies before spending most of the day outside in the snow, building snowmen and doing the snow angels. They also spent Christmas night together, and it was the first time Harry had had a decent sleep. Louis hugged Harry against his chest, while Harry hugged Staysha against his, and it was nice, it had felt as perfect as all the times he would imagine it.

Harry and Louis went out for New Years together, and Staysha had stayed at Margret's. Harry and Louis both got themselves drunk and kissed when the countdown to the New Year hit zero, Harry even saw Liam and Zayn do the same thing. Louis claims to have seen Niall kiss a beer bottle, but Niall denies it anytime someone asks.

They celebrated Harry's birthday all together, Niall, Liam, Zayn, Margret and even his mum and step dad came around for cake, and they all dedicated the song 22 by Taylor Swift to him. Which made Harry blush when they all started jumping around and screaming the lyrics to the song.

They all did the same when Staysha turned 5, another party was thrown for her by Niall and Louis, soon Harry realised it was the year that she would be starting Prep. He put it off for as long as he could, but eventually he signed her up for it, and then she was at Prep for four days out of the week.

It had been very emotional at first, taking his daughter to the school, he's cried many times letting her go. But Louis was always there with him, always telling him that it was going to be okay, that he would see her when the day was over, and that she was only getting older. He couldn't hold onto her forever, as much as he would've loved to do.

Yet they've been going steady with each other for the past four months, they aren't dating, but they're working into the old routine that they used to share. Harry will come home from work some nights, and Louis will have dinner already made - sometimes Staysha will be awake when he gets home or other times she would be too tired from Prep and Louis would have put her to bed. They go out at least twice a week, one for just him and Louis and one for all of them.

And it's, it's really nice.

Harry and Louis even got back into their old kissing routine that they used to do, sharing small pecks every now and then, it only took a bit longer before working up to majorly making out aagain but Harry's happy with the progress.

He wouldn't say that he fully trust Louis again, and that he is ready to jump straight into the relationship. But he's getting there, he reckons in another two months or so he'll be able to finally commit to Louis once again.

It's a Thursday, Harry has the day off from work and Staysha is at school. He's laying on his bed, while Louis straddling his lap and playing with Harry's hair as Harry talks to him.

Louis raises an eyebrow at Harry's question, and he huffs out a breathe of air as he curls a string of Harry's hair around his finger.

"He told me he was going through the same thing I was going through, loving someone and being depressed over it." Louis keeps his focus on the piece of Harry's hair that he's playing with.

"He basically kept telling me, exactly what I wanted to hear. He knew the exact words I wanted to hear, and he used them to make me fall for him. He said he loved me a month after seeing each other, and I believed him. Didn't even think it was too soon to be saying all of that, and I honestly thought I loved him back. But that's the joy of stumbling across someone whose so good at mind manipulation." Louis respires.

"He was great at the very beginning, and then I don't know, over time he got a bit controlling over me. Which is why you probably didn't see me much at Niall's if you ever did notice." Harry didn't, but then again, he never really was looking for him. "And then he started to mentally abuse me, by saying real nasty shit, making me feel really bad about myself yeah? Like he would call me horrid names, say horrible shit but then by the end he would say he loved me? Like he wired it all together perfectly, so I believed he was saying everything out of love." Louis snorts shaking his head, tugging a tiny bit at Harry's curl.

"It was Niall who saw the wrongs of what Jake was doing to me before I did, and it was him who put a stop to it all. Made me open my eyes, and realise what he was doing was wrong and not something that should be happening in a relationship. So I ended it with him, and when I did that it's when he revealed that he was fucking multiple people behind my back. But at that point, I just didn't care anymore you know? Because after Niall opened my eyes to what was happening, all I could think about was you. But also in saying that Harry, I never did stop thinking about you, but they were always limited thoughts because Jake was always down my throat with his twisted words. What I started too think when he was no longer around is what I'm getting out, I thouhg about how you would never have treated me like how he did, how you loved me, like truly loved me for who I was. And Niall made me realise how much of a dick I really was." Louis stopped playing with Harry's hair, and he places his hands on Harry's chest to look down at him with a small frown.

"I'm really sorry Louis." Harry finally says, sadness lacing his voice. "I honestly am so sorry for what he did. But at least he's gone now, and I'm here. That's all that matters." He smiles up at Louis. "I love you, yeah, and even though we've had such a shit past basically, we're all good now. We're working on it and we're getting there." Harry assures shuffling up a bit so he can press a kiss against Louis neck, hearing the older boy sigh happily above him.

"I love you too, and I'm so happy you're giving me well, another chance. I'm not going to be so stupid and reckless like before. I won't act so fucking childish anymore. I'm going too treat you right and love you right Harry, the way you deserve because." Louis grins as he leans down a bit to be face in face with Harry. "I." He pecks Harry's lips. "Love." Peck. "You." He kisses Harry properly this time, wrapping his arms around Harry's neck and Harry's hold his hips as he pushes his lips back against Louis.

So. They're getting their, slowly, working up to what Harry knows is going to be great in the end. This time, there's no beating around the bush, or hiding anything from one another. They're open about everything, and every day they say they love each other. Harry knows this time, they're going to get it right and things are going to be fine. He feels it was fates plan for them, that in the end they were destined for one another, it just took some time too reach that point.

"I love you too." Harry smiles softly, pulling away from Louis kiss to kiss along his jawline, kissing over the stubble that Louis has before slowly trailing his kisses back to Louis neck, hearing Louis moan lowly at the feeling.

They still haven't had sex, but Harry knows that he wants to. They did talk about it one day in the past, and Harry had admitted to when he tried to finger himself only to realise it wasn't what he liked, and Louis had looked relieved at it. Telling Harry that he was never one for fucking someone, he loved being fucked too much to actually fuck someone. They talked about having sex with each other, and Harry had said he wanted to wait until it felt right, until the right moment came alongg, and Louis had agreed with it.

And right now, it feels like the right time for them. He isn't sure why he thinks now is the right time, but he thinks it's because Louis has been nothing but amazing to him, proving to Harry every day that he really loves him and opening up and telling him everything Harry wants to know about him. And it just, it feels right too him.

It's not even night time, like when most people have sex. It's just past lunchtime, and Harry will have to pick Staysha up in three mere hours, so he knows if they do this now, it'll be quick, but it'll still be perfect for Harry.

"I want to fuck you." Harry whispers when he trails his kisses up to Louis ear.

He hears Louis gasp at what Harry says, his hips stuttering against Harry and Harry smirks kissing back down Louis neck.

"Are you sure?" Louis almost moans out, catching himself at the last second.

"Yes, it feels right too me." Harry admits and Louis groans, before he pushes Harry back and watches as Harry falls back onto the pillows smirking up at Louis.

"Fuck, alright." Louis says, and he slowly starts to grind his hips against Harry's his semi hard cock is rubbing against Harry's through his jeans and he moans at the friction.

He knows Harry's a virgin, never done anything like this before to a guy so he's going to take control over this, and show Harry what it really is like to make love to a man.

His fingers dance at the bottom of Harry's shirt, before he smirks and tugs it up Harry's chest. He locks eyes with Harry's, seeing his pupils have dilated to completely black, with a small thin line of green and Louis feels shivers run down his spine looking into Harry's lust blown eyes.

He doesn't give Harry the chance to take his shirt off his head, before he's leaning down and licking a strip over one of Harry's nipples. Harry's mouth falls open at the sensation, and his head falls back as Louis closes his mouth around the bud. He brings his right hand up to Harry's other nipple, and he gently pinches and twist at it, while he sucks and licks at the one in his mouth. Before he switches over, and does the same to the opposite nipple, hearing Harry let out small breathless moans to the sensations.

Harry's mind is going a million thoughts per seconds, and his body is feeling things he's never felt before. His hand is on autopilot as it comes up to grip Louis hair, as he pushes Louis mouth down more on his nipple and his hips jerk roughly before a loud moan is falling from his lips as Louis gently nips at the bud. He never knew getting his nipples played with, like this, would turn him on so much.

Louis grins against him, before he stops playing with Harry's nipples and slowly starts to trail his kisses down Harry's fit torso. He makes sure to press a kiss to each crease from Harry's abs, and when he gets to Harry's belly button he smirks against the side of it, before he sticks his tongue out and licks in the belly button.

Harry's left leg jerks out, a tingling sensation going straight to his cock when Louis does that and a filthy moan leaves his mouth. He never thought, having some lick in his belly button would cause such a reaction from him. And Louis just grins before he's sitting back a bit and undoing Harry's pants.

Harry removes his hand from Louis hair, and tugs his shirt off letting it fly across the room before he raises his hips so Louis can tug Harry's pants down. He gets his pants down to Harry's mid thighs, before he gives up trying to get them further and works on Harry's briefs.

He flicks his gaze up to Harry, seeing how the younger boy has his eyes closed and mouth open, and Louis smirks leaning down to kiss the top of Harry's dick through his briefs. Harry's leg jerks again, and Louis chuckles before he's peeling back the white fabric and Harry's dick is springing free, slapping against his stomach, hard and red.

Louis licks his lips as he examines Harry's cock.

Louis has seen a fair share of dicks in his life, but none can compare to Harry's. It's about eight inches long, probably three of his fingers wide and has a long vein running from his balls to the bottom of his crown. And, Louis never been one to appreciate someone's ball sack. But Harry's was pretty admirable in a way, it wasn't saggy like most boys he's seen. Instead it was drawn up tight, and a decent size which makes Louis kind of want it in his mouth.

He leans down to kiss the top of Harry's prick again, and he brings his right hand out to grab him by the base. Standing him up, so Louis can get his mouth on him properly.

Louis licks at the slit, and suckles on the head in a teasing manner before he finally takes Harry in his mouth, and Harry let's a loud moan out at it. It's been awhile since he's had his dick sucked by anyone, and Louis is doing a fantastic job at it. He knows exactly where to lick, how to suck, and when to use his teeth. He doesn't bite Harry, but he scraps his teeth along Harry's shaft and it sends Harry's mind into overdrive with the sensation.

He soon comes to realise that Louis has little to no gag reflex, as he takes all of Harry down in his throat in the one go. He ends up doing it a couple of times, and each time Harry swears he's going to bust and come in Louis mouth.

He gets close to the edge embarrassingly quick, but Louis pulls off before Harry can actually come. He feels Louis smirking against his dick, and he wonders when this boy ever stops smirking. Louis starts to kiss down Harry'a shaft and he slowly jerks him off before his mouth moves to Harry's balls.

He jerks him off as he sucks one into his mouth, and Harry groans throwing his hands over his face. He's honestly going to die, Louis is so good at what he doesn't and Harry's going to die.

Louis chuckles around Harry's ball, and the vibrations just make him groan louder before Louis moves to suck the opposite ball. And after teasing Harry for a bit longer, he finally pulls away and sits up.

Harry removes his hand from his face and glares at Louis, and Louis just bats his eyelashes playing innocent before he crawls up Harry's chest to connect him in a kiss. Harry kisses him back, and flips them over at the same time, kicking his jeans and boxers off.

He breaks the kiss to remove Louis clothes, and he doesn't go as slow as Louis did. He all but rips Louis shirt off him, and gets his pants off in record time so they're both stark naked. Louis just laughs before he hooks a leg around Harry's waist so they're hips are flushed together and their naked cocks are pressed together.

Harry drops his head onto Louis shoulder as he starts to rock his hip, his cock grinding against Louis and Louis let's small high moans out bringing his hand in between their bodies and gripping both their cocks in his hand, his hand almost fitting around both of them. Harry doesn't take that much notice as he continues to buck his hips against the friction, and he's never felt anything like this before fucking into Louis hand and on Louis cock. He mouths at Louis shoulder as he rocks his hips, and Louis moaning loudly as he freely rocks back against him.

Once again, Harry's brought to the edge, but once again Louis stopping him by gently pushing him away.

"I don't want you to come yet." Louis explains at the confused look on Harry's face. "Want you to fuck me first." He addresses with a small smile, before he flips over onto his chest, and gets himself up on his hands and knees presenting his arse for Harry.

Harry groans at the sight, and he grips his cock to stop himself from coming on the spotg before he leans over to his night stand to find his condoms and lube. He only has them for nights when he can wank off with out his daughter being around, and the condoms make it easier to not make a mess.

He places them down by Louis and gets the lube, uncapping it and squeezing some onto his fingers. He's watched more porn lately so he knows kind of what to do when fingering Louis, and so he goes off by what he's watched in porn.

He places the lube free hand on Louis hip, and brings his lube coated hand up to Louis arse. He bites his lower lip as his pointer finger circles the small wrinkled muscle and he feels Louis push back against the finger.

"C'mon." Louis whispers. "Put it in me." He says and Harry bites his lower lip to stop the groan that wants to escape.

He does what Louis said, and he pushes the first finger in. It goes in smoothly, and Harry watches how Louis back arches a tiny bit and his hips push back on Harry's finger. It's warm and tight inside Louis, and Harry bites his lower lip as he twist his finger around a tiny bit before he then slowly slips in a second finger.

He slowly works up to three fingers, and by the time he's got them in; Louis panting against the pillow his hips pushing back, fucking himself on Harry's fingers. And Harry's hand that was on Louis back has gone to his own cock, and he's gripping it tightly so he doesn't come. The sight of Louis arse taking his fingers has put Harry right on the edge, and he knows he'll come if he lets go of his dick while his fingers are still in Louis arse.

"'M ready." Louis muffles out, his face still buried in the pillows.

Harry grunts, nodding to himself as he slips his fingers out and locates the condom. He rips it open with his teeth since his hand it a bit slippery, and he quickly rolls it down over his cock. He gets the lube again, and squeezes some over his cock, and uses the already lubed hand to spread it around his cock to get it slippery so he can get it in Louis with hopefully little to no resistance.

He lines up at Louis arsehole, and when he feels Louis move his hips back against him, he slowly begins to push into Louis.

It's a tight fit, and it takes a couple of goes until Harry is completely in and bottomed out. Louis completely collapsed already, his arse is just being held up by Harry's hands, and he moans when Harry slowly pulls out and pushes back in.

"Fuck, feel so full." Louis moans, basking in the way Harry's slowly fucking him. His cock slowly sliding in and out of him, and he clenches around Harry every time he pushes back in.

"You feel amazing." Harry admits, gripping Louis hips tighter as he slowly starts to pick up his pace, making his thrust a bit faster and harder. "So tight, so warm, literally feels amazing." Harry groans out, rocking his hips.

"Fuck." Louis whines when Harry shifts his hips and his cock brushes against his prostrate. "Right there Harry, c'mon, fuck me harder." Louis grouses out.

Harry nods, even though Louis can't see him, and he grips Louis hips even more tighter before he begins to really fuck into Louis. He starts to snap his hips harder, using more force as he fucks Louis. And Louis moans get higher and higher, as Harry continues to repeatedly hit his prostate.

The room is full of groaning, moaning and the sound of skin hitting skin. Harry's gripping Louis hips hard enough to leave bruises, and Louis pretty sure he's crying against the pillow. He isn't sure, all he can feel is Harry nailing his prostate and overwhelming pleasure hitting him.

He gets a hand on himself as Harry fucks into him, and he jerks himself off fast, trying to go at the same pace as Harry, and he lets out a loud shout before whimpering as he comes. He comes hot,and fast. It hits his chest before hitting the blanket below him.

Harry watches the way Louis body shakes as he comes, and he snaps his hips again three more times before he's pressing himself up against Louis body, and he bites into Louis shoulder as he comes in Louis. His fingers grip Louis hips, and he's probably bit Louis hard enough to make him bleed as he rides his orgasm out.

It takes a couple of minutes for both parties to come down, and when they do, Harry pulls out of Louis slowly and takes the condom off, tying it up and putting it on his nightstand. He'll put it in the trash when he gets out of bed.

He falls onto his back on the bed, next to Louis and he hears Louis sigh happily before rolling over and curling up into Harry's chest.

"That was amazing Harry, especially for your first time fucking a guy." Louis smirks, kissing above Harry's peck.

Harry blushes, bringing his hands around Louis body, pulling him close into his chest.

"I love you." Harry says kissing the top of Louis head.

"Love you too, now come on. Let's shower, we gotta pick Staysha up soon." Louis says before he's rolling away from Harry and getting off the bed.

Harry watches as Louis walks into the bathroom, smirking at the way he notices Louis wincing a tiny bit as he walks. Before he gets himself up as well, following Louis into the bathroom and throwing the condom in the small bin he has in the bathroom.

-/

"Daddy!" Harry hears Staysha yell.

Him and Louis were waiting outside Staysha's classroom while waiting for her and he smiles so widely when he see's his daughter grabbing her school bag before racing over to where he and Louis were standing.

"Hey baby!" Harry greets, kneeling down to pick her up, before holding her up against his chest.

Louis smiles, grabbing her bag for her as they start to leave the school.

"How was your day today?" Harry asks and watches the way Staysha lights up at the simple question.

"It was good! I drew a picture!" Staysha excitedly exclaims and Harry laughs, while Louis has a small fond smile on his face.

The school she attends wasn't that far away from where they live, so it only takes about fifteen minutes to walk home and for the whole walk home Staysha was going on about her day at school and the new friends she's made. Louis at one point gave her a piggy back heading home, before she went back to Harry so Harry just grabbed Louis hand lacing them together as they all walked home.

When they got home Staysha unpacked her bag, put her lunchbox on the bench before she grabbed her drawing she did and raced back over to Harry to give it to him.

Harry smiles at her, before she disappears into the lounge room where Louis is and he unfolds the paper.

He can't help the large smile that crosses his face when he looks at the drawing. On top of it, it says "my family" and underneath it, Staysha has drawn him, and Louis as stick figures holding hands while she's drawn herself playing with some toys, there's a heart above stick figure Harry and Louis that she's drawn.

Harry feels a wave of love and adoration wash over him at the simple drawing; and he goes to put the drawing up on his fridge.

He still gets the crude looks from strangers when he leaves his house, he still gets the mothers glaring at him and hiding their daughters, the sons and dads turning their noses up at him. Along with the old people looking like they're going to have a heart attack when they see him. Despite his look changing to normal clothes now, and his hair being brown again, they still seem him different due to the piercings he has kept and the tattoos littering his body.

So, he still gets the snarky comments and rude looks. He doesn't think that's ever reaally going to change.

Because now?

Now Harry knows what it's like to be accepted and loved.

He has three amazing friends, one at work, one gives him massages for free and one lives right next door to him. He has three amazing friends who love him, a daughter who absolutely loves and adores him, an old lady who would always look after Staysha and classifies Harry as her son as well. He also now has his mum and step dad back in his life.

And then, then he has Louis.

The boy who didn't like him to start off with, the boy who messed with his head and heart, who broke him over and over again, but then pieced him back together bit by bit. The boy who made Harry fall in love with him not once, but twice, and shown him that's it's okay to follow his heart in life, even if it does beak sometimes. The boy, who loves Harry unconditionally and proves it everyday that he loves him. The boy, he hasn't come to fully trust again just yet, but loves nothing less.

So, Harry doesn't care what the outside world thinks of him. Because, as long as he has Niall, Liam, Zayn, Staysha, Margret, his mum, step dad and Louis in his life. He thinks that, well, yeah.

He's going to be okay.


	18. Epilogue.

So, in the very end it took a bit longer than Harry had originally planned for letting Louis back into his life compeletly and being a proper couple. He had originally thought it would've only taken a few more months to get to that stage, he didn't count on it being a year for him to do it. Honestly, he isn't even sure on why it took him that long, there had been many opportunities to let Louis back in, but he guesses in the end that none of them felt like it was the right time.

When the time came around that he deemed was right, and had fallen competely back in love with Louis the way he used to be. Was just on a simple day they had together, Staysha was at school and it was another day where Harry and Louis both had it off work. They had just been lounging around in the living room, Harry had been dressed in his usual black skinny jeans and a nice floral shirt Louis had found him one day.

One thing Harry had noticed about himself though, was how he no longer dressed a certain way to fit his type of look. He used to dress like the stereotypical punk, but now he's found closure in different brands of clothes. He'll forever love his piercings and tattoos, he's certain non of that would ever change for him. Lately though, he's become more comfortable in these new types of clothes, he doesn't feel like he's living a certain way anymore with how he used to dress.

Louis was dressed in just a pair of simple denim jeans, the shirt he had on had grease stains on them from when he and Harry we're messing around in the kitchen attempting to cook something random up for lunch.

Harry didn't know what was going on in his own mind when he looked at Louis and an overpowering feeling of love just washed over him, when he looked at Louis who was aimlessly scrolling through his phone, with no idea that Harry was watching him.

It took a minute for Harry to accept what he was feeling before he had made his way over to Louis, he sat down next to him gently and Louis looked up at him with sucha soft smile.

The thing is, Harry knows that Louis is trying so hard to win Harry back fully, even though he knows what Louis did was foolish and stupid he still knew that he needed to win Harry back. There were many nights where Harry would comfort Louis when he remembered what happened with Jake. And there were also many times Harry has threatened to hurt Jake for Louis, saying if he saw him he'd knock him out for what he did to Louis. They were still both kind of messed up in their own ways, Louis soon overcame what had happened and knew that Harry would never try to manipulate or control him the way that Jake had done. So the exact moment when he realised that, it was when he started to work on winning Harry's trust and love back completely.

So he spent a lot of time with Harry and Staysha, it even got to the point where Staysha started to question Harry if Louis was going to be her new Dad. Harry would always have to tell her that he wasn't quite sure yet - but now as Louis looks at Harry with the small soft smile on his face, he knows that he'll be telling his daughter when they pick her up that Louis will be her other father.

When Harry had smiled back at Louis, Louis locked his phone placing it on the dinning room bench before he hooked his right leg over Harry's waist and positioned himself so he was sitting in Harry's lap. His hands came up behind Harry's head, and he laced his fingers together behind Harry before he leaned down to place small soft kisses along Harry's neck.

They had sex often now-a-days after their first time together, they try too do it as much as they could with Staysha being around. There were nights where they could have a full fuck when Staysha would be staying at Margret's house or even with Niall, it's where they could go as rough and as hard as the could and not worry about Harry's daughter. Those nights usually consisted of Louis getting fucked from behind, his hands bound, his face being held down in the pillows with one of Harry's hands and a cock ring placed on his dick. Those were the nights Harry took complete control.

And then there would be times where they would go to fuck on the lounge and Staysha would wake up and come out of their room and Harry and Louis would have to scramble to find clothes to cover themselves and act normal before she saw anything too what they were doing. There had also been quick fucks against the kitchen bench when Staysha would be over with Niall, before dinner and Harry would quickly have his way with Louis.

All in all, Harry is pretty sure they have a good sex life going and Harry had learnt that Louis really loves to be manhandled and taken control of, having his hair tugged and his arse being slapped were main ones that he liked. Harry had come to learn that he himself loved to be kissed on the neck, have his hair pulled as well and take compete control over Louis. They fit together like puzzle pieces when it comes to sex, and even in their everyday life. He just feels that they were meant to be.

Harry's hands settled on the waist he's come to love, and he tilts his head back as he lets Louis kiss all over his neck. It's lazy, and nothing sexual is hidden behind it so Harry knows Louis isn't wanting sex at this point in time, and he doesn't even mind for it. Instead he's kind of happy, because he's about to tell Louis what he knows the older lad had been wanting to hear.

"I love you." Harry had whispered feeling the way Louis smiled again his neck.

"I love you too." He whispered back, leaving small trails of kisses on both sides of Harry's neck.

"No, I mean, I love you Louis. So much." Harry starts, he felt Louis tense up against him and he keeps going.

"I feel the way I used to with you now, you make my heart stutter and my mind go into overdrive in the best way possible. You make me laugh, you make me smile, and you make me incredibly happy. You make Staysha happy as well, she keeps asking if you'll be her new Dad, she likes you that much. I love you so much, I know we were so stupid back then and with how everything played out. But I'm not making the same mistake I did then, I'm not holding back on my feelings anymore and keeping myself from what I want again. I want, you Louis. It's always been you for me that I wanted, I love you, Louis and if you want me still. I would be honoured to call you my boyfriend." Harry bites his tongue after speaking and watches as Louis slowly raises his head to stare at Harry.

Harry can't read what Louis thinking, he's closed his emotions off right now and Harry's starting to panic a tiny bit, maybe Louis didn't want him? What if this was a mistake, oh god what if he's messed up aga-

His brain doesn't get to finish the thought before Louis smiling, shaking his head and leaning in.

"You fool." Louis says pecking Harry's lips. "Of course I'll be your boyfriend, you know that's what I always wanted to hear from you. I've been yours all along, I love you so much." He kisses him again.

And yeah, Harry's pretty sure he could die a happy man now.

-/

So it's how it winds up to where they are now in their point of life together as one and united as a family. Louis moved in a couple months later after confessing their love, and getting together and Staysha has gone to calling him her other Daddy since then, which makes both Louis and Harry really happy.

Harry's never felt more loved and at peace with his life before, he used to worry so much that he wouldn't have the best life fit for his daughter. He always assumed he was going to stay alone, and try and raise the beautiful girl by himself. But now, he has Louis, and Louis is nothing but amazing. He's there for Harry when he's needed, and he's there for Staysha. He'll sit with her and have pretended tea dates when Harry's at work, along with drawing and reading with her. He's the exact type of father figure Harry secretly wished he could portray for his daughter on most days, but he couldn't thank the lord enough for giving him someone like Louis.

Harry even managed to find time in between work and Louis to get himself back into Law School. He managed to find a campus that did both morning and night courses, so Harry was able to rotate through classes with his work schedule. It was another step into a brighter future, he would spend most days studying while Louis was with Staysha berore one or both of them would pull him out of his study too join them. Harry isn't sure on how long it will take too complete his studying on Law, but he knows somewhere in the future if he keeps up his good work he may be seeing himself as a future lawyer.

Niall managed to get the business line from his father, making him the CEO of his own business in the town they live in. He moved out of the apartment complex and brought a house just on the outskirts of town not long after the buisness took off. They still catch up at least once a week for drinks, and they go to Harry's pub to make him feel more at home in a way. He had also offered at one stage to buy Harry and Louis a house, but for some reason neither of them could part with this apartment just yet. Maybe it was due to this apartment complex is that they met, no one really knows. Niall already said that later on down the track he will be buying one for them for when Staysha gets older, because no matter how many memories the place shares, they will eventually need a bigger one for when she's older.

Harry goes to Zayn and Liam's weekly for massages - sometimes even Louis will tag along - and to catch up on their day too day lives, Liam's recently gotten more famously known for his massages and he's even massaged a couple of celebrities here and there, he was getting that big. Zayn still worked at the pub with Harry, so Harry saw him at least six days out of the week.

Margret still looks after Staysha when she's needed, and even when she doesn't look after her Harry still goes over to have tea with her and catch up on her life. Because Harry will always consider Margret as another mum to him, he loves her too much to just forget about her.

His mum and stepdad visit him a couple of times out of a month, and after a bit Harry managed to even get into contact with his sister. It was hard at first trying to find her, because even his own parents didn't know where she disappeared off too. So after many, many sleepless nights and countless searches on Facebook, Harry had finally found her. He sent her a long message, mainly asking too why she left and then telling her everything that's happened to him and including his phone number in the end incase she ever did see the message.

She called him the very next day, and they talked for over four hours about everything on the phone. She told him she was living in London with her fiancé, just finished UNI on an arts degree, and she had admitted that she left home because she saw no potential in staying there and wanted something bigger. She did apologise for losing contact with everyone, it's just life moved fast for her as well and she didn't notice she lost contact, but she had made promises to come and visit when she has the time.

Harry's life, for the first time in awhile, is finally going in the direction that he always wanted. He used to fear that everything that's good would eventually come to an end, but he's come to learn that it's just how life worls. There's ups and there's downs, but he knows that if he keeps pushing through the dark, light is waiting for him on the other side. And now he has proof of it, he has Louis who he knows he's going too marry one day, Zayn and Liam who are the most amazing couple Harry ever stumbled across. He has Niall whose the greatest lad to exist, and Harry knows it's Niall who, when he asks, always denies that he puts some money in Harry's bank to help him out when he knows he's down with his studying or work isn't pulling all the way through. He also has Magret as well and he has his mum and step-dad back, and along with his sister.

And then, in the very end, he has his amazing daughter. Who he thought, couldn't give her what she wanted, couldn't be the dad that she deserved. But, she now has everything Harry had ever wished for her. She has another parent that she adores as mucha as she adores Harry, she has friends from school, she's having proper family meals for dinner and two arms to hold her at night.

Harry remembers the day that he ended up showing Louis the song he wrote about him, the one he did when Louis was dating Jake. He remembers telling Louis that he named it Two Ghosts, and he remembers how upset Louis had looked when he read the lyrics, which he then went to hug Harry with tears running down his face, apologising for everything that happened over and over again. Harry had just hugged him and just told him that everything was all right. He also let Louis read through all of the journal entries that he had written down.

It had been an emotional night for the both, it was full with a lot of kissing, hugs and tears. But Harry wouldn't trade that night in for the world, because in a way it brought them closer even more so.

Harry now only has one more wish, and that wish is that he wishes he could go back to his eighteen year old self.

If he ever had the chance to ever go back in time too see his younger self, he knows he would hug himself tightly, squeeze himself as hard as he could and he would just whisper;

_"Everything will work out in the end buddy, please be strong and hold on. Things do get better."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here is the very end of the fanfiction, I really hope people like it more now that it's been edited thoroughly!
> 
> If you liked it, drop a comment and a kudo - it would mean so much!
> 
> If you don't like it, don't bother with a hate comment because I will just delete it!
> 
> Find me on;
> 
> Tumblr; Larrydomain@tumblr.com  
> Twitter; PAYNENTOMMO


	19. not a chapter just a thanks

So this has been one of the only long fanfictions I've actually completed and I really did like this story.

  
I'm still so sorry if it's confusing, but just know that the events that take place in this fanfiction on mostly Louis side when he leaves Harry for someone else happened to me, some of the words he speaks are word from word to what this person said too me. Some people will say what Louis did was stupid and not realistic but please, this happened to me, I wrote that based off what happened to me in real life - so it's one hundred percent realistic, even if it's just from me. What Louis does and says it's what's actually happened to someone in real life. Even when he comes back and tells Harry what Jake did is the same as what the person did when they came back too me, so once again towards the end it was dedicated to real life events!

 

With all of that being said, I just really hope everyone liked this fic just as much as I like writing it. I hope the angst wasn't too much, but I kind of based it on reality and that's what happened too me and I know life can be just that cruel..

 

I love you all and I hope you loved this.

 

**Find me on tumbr; _Larrydomain@tumblr.com_**

**Find me on twitter; _@PAYNENTOMMO_**

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are much appreciated! :) x


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